Broken Pieces  – Part 2.5

Author: Sarah E. Grauvogl

Email: grauvose@muohio.edu 

Rating: PG

Author's Note: This is (finally) a continuation of the fic, “Daddy Nick
and Mommy Lulu” started by Rosiiii and I toward the end of TG Season 2
in May of 2003. Taking into consideration what happened in the show’s
season finale “All the Rage”, some events are still included (the
parking lot beating, James’ demise, Lulu’s job offer in Berkeley) but
the original story thread from “Daddy Nick…” stays the same in regards
to the very much unplanned pregnancy and the nature of the Nick/Lulu
relationship, with Lulu saying “I love you” first and Nick’s uncertainty
over anything being able to last.

The characters and TG are not mine, but the story as it unfolds from
this point on are. The parking lot dialogue is almost entirely taken
from “All the Rage.”

What I intend to do is spin the story in a different direction, taking
TG into an ‘alternate universe’ from what we saw in the arc of episodes
preceding “All the Rage” and Season Three.

 
**

 

Heinz Hall, 8:36 PM

 

Why she was going over there, she didn’t know. Instinct told her to
leave, to walk away and never look back. But she couldn’t. She had to
know who he was with. Kate’s date had called her away before she could
intercede. Her good sense of reason would’ve told Lulu that it was
nothing; surely this beautiful blonde was just an acquaintance. An
associate. Someone from the office.

 

With each step she wanted to turn away, to run in the opposite
direction. She still hadn’t seen Burton; she didn’t know where he was.

 

Maybe he and Shannon had made other plans; after all, she hadn’t spoken
to Nick to know any different.

 

All she had seen was his profile from the distance. That was enough.
None of the other faces around him were familiar, least of all hers. The
blonde woman.

 

<Who the hell is she?> Lulu asked herself.

 

There was no telling what she felt. Anger, hurt, betrayal. Any one
seemed to fit the moment. She couldn’t understand how comfortable he
seemed, so at ease.

 

The voice, she could hear it as she got closer. He just sounded
different, almost light-hearted. Not at all like the man she had seen
the night before.

 

<Don’t make a scene>  she told herself,  <do not make a scene.>

 

In her mind, she tried to think of plausible explanations. She tried to
understand why this would happen. Why this would happen now.

 

<God, how could I be so stupid about this?> Lulu asked herself. She
looked back over her shoulder, relieved that Kate was gone from view.
Her heart was pounding.

 

As she stepped up behind him, Lulu took a deep breath, “Nick…”

 

Without any hesitation, the man turned around. He lifted his hand and
lightly brushed her cheek, “hey, baby…there you are.” He tipped his head
forward, and pressed his mouth over hers.

 

Fully. This was no casual kiss. He went deeper. Much deeper.

 

<What the HELL?>

 

Stunned, Lulu pulled back. Deep blue eyes pierced through her, but her
Nick this was not. Big mistake. She struggled to compose herself as she
stepped away, “I… I…”

 

“I’m so glad to see you…” The handsome man before her flashed a quick
smile, and allowed his hand to move to the small of her back, stroking
her gently. Almost affectionately. His touch sent chill down her spine.
He pulled her closer, and turned his head to whisper in her ear, “just
play along, okay? 

 

On the spot, Lulu flashed a wary smile, not sure what else she could do.
<Do not make a scene, go with it> she told herself.

 

The man turned back to the crowd he had been with. “Pleasure meeting you
folks, but if you’d excuse me, please – I’d like to get a drink and take
this beautiful woman to our seats…”

 

One of the other men stepped forward and extended his hand, “pleasure,
John, be sure to look me up…”

 

“I will…” John smiled, and whispered again, his warm breath hitting her
neck, “just head over to the doors.”

 

A few of the others waved, and they made their exit from the bar. The
crowd had thinned considerably, most of people already in their seats.

 

As soon as they were a reasonable distance away, Lulu stopped and turned
to him, “I am so sorry, I thought you were…”

 

“No, no… don’t be sorry, please… you saved me…” John looked back over
his shoulder and pointed to the group, “I just met the guys, and that
woman… God, I thought I’d never get away.” 

 

“You don’t know them?” Lulu wasn’t sure had a clue about what just
transpired.

 

“No.” John stepped back a little, not wanting to make her feel
uncomfortable as he explained. “The man in the tux, with the silver tie,
he over heard me at the counter saying I was new in town. He introduced
himself, gave me his card. I told him I was waiting for my date. When he
found out I was a lawyer, he asked if I had time for a quick drink.
These people from his firm came over and well…” he stopped himself
there, “I’m sorry… I don’t mean to ramble…”

 

Although still a bit shaken, Lulu accepted, “it’s okay… I thought you
were someone… I came to meet my date and you, well…”

 

<Say it, damnit, tell him he looks like Nick. Maybe a younger Nick, but
he looks like him. Let him know you aren’t crazy> she urged herself. 

 

“Good looking guy, hunh?” John asked with a laugh. He breathed a small
sigh of relief when she smiled, even if it was just to humor him. He
removed his hand from his pocket and extended it to her, “John Patrick
Evans, corporate attorney…”

 

<Good looking, God yes – every last inch of him from his head to his…>
she stopped herself there, knowing with certainty that she was liable to
turn red at that very thought of him that way. Nick had that effect on
her. Her favorite time with him was in the morning, when he’d first
crawl out of bed completely bare with his tousled hair and sleepy eyes.
Even in silence, she loved just lying there and looking at him. She
tried to be secretive about it, but he had caught her. At least once.
Maybe twice. <Fair game> she thought, recalling how she caught him
looking at her, the way he always did when she came out of the shower.
That was when he wanted her most, that was when nothing could break his
affectionate gaze. <An odd pair we are>, she decided, <we both have our
moments>. Unwilling to share them, they relied upon catching each other
to know just what was going on.

 

“Louisa Archer, assistant director of Legal Services of Pittsburgh.”
Lulu shook his hand, but not without first looking around the room. Again.

 

<Where the hell is he?> her mind wandered again, thinking of all the
possible excuses for Nick’s absence. Nothing would satisfy her, not
until she knew.

 

“Legal Services, you say?” John couldn’t believe the coincidence. Fate
had a funny way of bringing people together.

 

<If she’s the assistant director, where was she when I came in?> he
asked himself.

 

“Yes, I’ve been there for about a year and a half…”  Lulu explained, “I
interviewed at a few corporate firms, but I thought this was a better fit.”

 

“Oh.” He kept his next question to himself, not wanting to pry.  Now
wasn’t the time for that. Instead, he’d try another approach. One that
usually worked. His mother said it was a hereditary gift from his
father. Hoping to make light of their earlier encounter, John glanced
back to the bar, “well, I think it is safe to say they’ve found their
seats, and as we are both waiting for our dates… could I buy you a drink?”

 

“No,” she answered abruptly, her senses starting to return. Lulu glanced
up at him, “I’m sorry, I mean, I really shouldn’t… I should probably go,
actually…”

 

“What about the show? The performance?” John wasn’t sure what difference
it made to him if this woman stayed or left. There was something unique
about her, a certain appeal.

 

There was something so familiar about him. The eyes. The lines of his
face. The smile.

 

<Get it together, Lulu, quit thinking that you’re seeing Nick...>> she
chastised herself.

 

“Okay, then answer me this… where can I find a decent dinner around here
once the show ends?”  John waited a moment, “I assume you are from
Pittsburgh?”

 

“Yes.” Lulu thought about his question. “Le Mont’s,” she answered, “I’ve
heard it’s excellent.”

 

“I think my mother has mentioned it, seems as if it was a place my
father liked…” John looked back to the doors, still waiting.

 

After another glance around the room, Lulu finally responded, “so, your
father is from Pittsburgh…”

 

“Yes, the greater Pittsburgh area actually. I myself was born and raised
out West,” he began, “and only recently decided that maybe I should come
here and find my roots…”

 

“Whereabouts out West?” Lulu couldn’t help but ask. Even if her decision
was not a done deal, life on the coast certainly seemed to have its
appeal. It seemed refreshing to get a new perspective on things.

 

<Why now? Why is this man here before me now?> she questioned, wondering
if this was some type of sign.

 

“I grew up around San Diego, but I attended law school upstate,” John
elaborated, “and I then I started with Preston, Mason & Matthews…”

 

The name was familiar. Only in name. She had seen their building in San
Francisco.

 

“And  you?” He could tell she was distracted. Maybe his charm had worn off.

 

All the same, Lulu answered, “from Pennsylvania, I went to law school at
Ohio State and clerked for the Feds.”

 

“Ah,” John couldn’t help but smile. He looked again at her small hands.
There was no wedding band, but there were other signs.

 

<Off the market> he just knew.  

 

“What?” Lulu glanced at him.

 

The similarities she saw were unquestionable. It was almost frightening.
Even the voice.  It was all so familiar.

 

<God, I must be crazy> she thought to herself. 

 

“Nothing, just affirming what I had assumed.”  He looked around the
room, certain they should be there by now.

 

“Which was?” Lulu tried to fight off a smile.

 

“Taken. That you’re taken…” John smiled again, “my apologies for the
earlier intrusion…”

 

Touched by his sincerity, Lulu waved it off, “really it was my mistake…”

 

“Even so.” He put his hand to his head, embarrassed, “I’m sure I made an
outstanding impression…”

 

She couldn’t help but laugh, “I’ve seen worse…”

 

“Well, since I know where you work – I guess I should just be glad you
won’t be conducting my interview this week…” John looked around, just in
case, “I wouldn’t want to get a bad rep at F&F before I’m even in the
door…”

 

“You’re interviewing at F&F?” Lulu swallowed hard. That would be just
her luck. 

 

<God help me> she pleaded.

 

Seeing her interest raise, John couldn’t help but wonder what her
connection was. He knew a lot about the family, from what he had read.
She certainly didn’t seem the type to work there. John tried to start a
lead, “yes, I’ve heard they’re a great firm…”

 

“That they are,” she answered succinctly. Lulu could only hope, by the
time he had his interview, that this incident would be forgotten.

 

Just then, a phone rang. It was hers.

 

“Excuse me,” she said, reaching into her purse.

 

<Why won’t he just go away?> she asked herself, <he has already
acknowledged that I am taken and so is he. Why is he holding my attention?>

 

“Go ahead.” John watched her for a moment, and then turned away. From a
distance, he could see his small son entering the doors. He waved him
forward.

 

It was then that she first saw his hand in full view. The golden wedding
band sparkling in the light. It caught her eye, earlier, when she first
met him.

 

<There’s the difference> she realized. <That’s what puts him apart>

 

Without checking the number, Lulu opened her phone. “Louisa Archer.”

 

“Oh God…”  Barbara sobbed, “Lulu…”

 

“Barbara, what is it?” Lulu thought her heart had stopped.

 

“Oh God, Lulu, it’s bad… its so, so bad…” she cried.

 

Stepping away, Lulu took a deep breath, “what happened? Tell me what
happened! Is it your son? Is it Evan?”

 

“At LSP! There was a shooting at LSP!” she pulled the phone away for a
moment and dabbed her eyes with a tissue the officer had handed her,
“the police officers said they need you to come down, we’re still… we’re
still trying to reach Alvin…”

 

“BARBARA!” she waited a moment, but she had to know, “who was it?”

 

“He’s gone, Lulu… they both are…” she continued painfully, unable to
stop the torrent of tears, “it’s so bad… it’s so bad…”

 

“Who was it?” Lulu demanded her own breathing now sporadic.

 

<Oh God, don’t let it be him. Don’t let it be him> she prayed to herself.

 

As the little blonde boy in the tuxedo came to meet him, John bent down
to his level and spoke quietly, “Daddy’s just going to say goodbye to
this nice lady here, okay? Then we will go inside…”

 

“Is she your friend?” the child asked innocently.

 

Not knowing what to say, John just shrugged, “she’s another lawyer…”

 

“Oh.” The little boy smiled, “Grandma is parking the car.”

 

“Okay then…” John ruffled the boy’s tousled blonde locks with his
fingers, “we’ll wait for her…” 

 

 Not trusting herself to stand, Lulu leaned against the wall. There was
silence. “Barbara?”

 

“It’s so bad, Lulu, it’s so bad…” she repeated again.

 

“I know, I know… but you gotta tell me, please, Barbara, who was it?”
Lulu reminded herself to breathe. The pressure was building behind her
eyes.

 

<God. It can’t be him. It can’t be him… Please God…> her prayers continued.

 

Noticing that she moved away, John looked down at his son, “wait right
here, okay? I’m going to make sure she is all right.”

 

The little boy nodded as he watched his father go toward her. John kept
a reasonable distance, but he could see that she was upset. The tears
were evidence enough; he didn’t have to listen to the one side of the
conversation.

 

There was another silence on the line. All she could hear were Barbara’s
sobs. It wasn’t Alvin. That’s all she knew.

 

<Nick. Nick. Nick. Nick.>

 

“Ms. Archer?” another voice said.

 

“Yes?”  Lulu could feel the cold sweat on her body.

 

<The body he touched. The body he made love to. The body he impregnated>
There were chills on her skin at the very thought of him.

 

“This is Officer Reynolds, Pittsburgh PD, we’re going to need you to
come down here please…”

 

“Oh God…” she took another deep breath, “who was it?”

 

<Answer me damnit! Answerr!> Lulu struggled to compose herself.

 

“Ms. Archer, we just really need you to come down here as soon as
possible. Do you have a way to get here?”

 

“Yes.”

 

<Why won’t they tell me anything?> she wanted to scream, <why the hell
can’t I know?>

 

“We’ll see you soon.”

 

The line was cut. That’s all. She was in shock. Absolute shock. John
reached out, and lightly touched her arm, “Louisa, you okay?”

 

Unable to speak, Lulu shook her head in the negative.

 

“Is it Nick?” John was almost certain that was the name she mentioned
only minutes before.  Then it hit him. He made the connection.

 

<Was this Nick one in the same?> he questioned, allowing his mind to
wander. <No, it’s far too coincidental. There’s no way.>  Curiosity
nagged at him as he looked her over.  <She knows F&F. She works at LSP.
There has to be some connection>  He wanted to ask. He did. <Now’s not
the time. Obviously something is wrong> He looked at her again, hoping
for some sort of clarification <Surely she can’t be his. Not with what I
heard. It has to be somebody else>

 

“Louisa?”  John found himself looking in the eyes, “what happened?”

 

Distracted from her thoughts, she then noticed John’s hand on her arm.
It was so familiar. The way it looked, the way it felt. It was so much
like him. But it wasn’t.

 

<He looks like Nick. So what. Acts like him. So what. You want Nick. Go
to him> her mind was running a mile a minute <You need him>

 

LSP. Shooting. So bad. Reality hit her. Hard. “I gotta go,” Lulu said
suddenly, “I gotta go…”

 

“Can… can I help you? What’s wrong?” John watched as she searched for
her keys in her purse in a panicked frenzy.

 

It wasn’t that she was ignoring him.  She moved past so quick she didn’t
even here him. Out of the bar, into the reception area, straight to the
hall and out the door. Maybe he followed her, maybe he didn’t.

 

Looking out at the busy street, she knew her car would be impossible to
find. It would have to wait. She knew she was in no condition to drive.
Not like this. She searched the cars as they passed by.

 

<Where the hell is a goddamn taxi?> she wanted to scream.

 

 It was only a brief glance back, to the doors, he was there.

 

Maybe another minute went by. John ran past her and down the stairs, to
the street. “Wait here,” he instructed her, just as he had told his
child earlier. Somehow he knew. The bright yellow caught his eye. 
“Taxi! Taxi!” He waved it down.

 

The car pulled over. A couple emerged, obviously dressed for the
symphony.  Before he could call her name, Lulu was there next to him,
ready to get in. Her breath was short from the anxiety. There was no
time to waste.

 

“Where to, M’am?” the driver asked.

 

John looked at Lulu, still dazed, “Louisa, where are you going?”

 

“Legal Services of Pittsburgh,” she answered quietly, her eyes filled
with tears.  

 

 

**

McPherson Residence, 8:46 PM

 

Late. She was late again. Staying over wasn’t her intent – but with her
impending leave, she knew she could use the money. Paul wouldn’t be
happy about it; she’d have to hear it again about her responsibilities,
about getting her priorities in order.  Some things never changed, he
just didn’t understand.

 

Reluctantly, she parked in front of the house. Her body ached; it had
been another long day. Though she was in good shape, the added weight
was starting to catch up with her. This was probably her least favorite
part of the whole experience.

 

Getting out of the car, she sounded the alarm. It was habit. She took a
deep breath and walked up, preparing herself for the worst. Then she
knocked.

 

“Matty, get a move on…” Paul called upstairs, “your Mom’s here and I
have got to go…”

 

“I thought I was gonna stay tonight?” Matty looked at his father,
disappointed.

 

Unaware of these plans, Paul shook his head in the negative, “not
tonight, I got called into work.”

 

Impatient, Kim knocked again.

 

“Go get your stuff,” Paul said as he walked to the door, watching Matty
head back upstairs. It was already unlocked. Stepping aside, he opened
it, “Kimberly.”

 

“Yeah, I know I’m late…” Kim released an exasperated sigh as she stepped
inside the foyer. Seeing that Paul was in his uniform, she thought it
best to warn him about what he might be walking into. “Darger was on his
way out, something crazy happened over at Heinz Hall…” she started, “a
beating or something…” 

 

Paul nodded, “I picked it up over the radio, but I’ll be taking a squad
out by the river once I get in.”

 

“The river? What went down?” Apparently, she missed something.

 

“A shooting, woman who found the bodies detailed the suspect. Guess she
saw him running out of an elevator or something. Real sick fucker, blew
a man’s guts out and then his brains…”

 

Just the description made her feel ill. Kim grimaced in disgust, “c’mon,
Paul…”

 

“Its part of the job, Kimmy – you know that…” Paul walked over to the
couch and sat down. He grabbed his boots and started to put them on.
“Speaking of, when does your leave start?”

 

“The doctor  said that since I’m on desk duty, I can work as long as I
feel up to it,” Kim ran her hand over her growing stomach, “so… late
September maybe?”

 

Waiting a moment, Paul glanced up at her, “what about Matty?”

 

“What about him?” Kim knew it wouldn’t be long before Paul brought it up
again. She just knew it. She could feel it.

 

“Maybe…  you know… maybe he should stay with me…” Paul bent down and
finished lacing his boot, knotting it at the top.

 

Taking a deep breath, Kim reminded herself to stay calm. The last thing
she needed was more stress. “Why would he have to stay with you? I’ll be
on leave for six weeks and…”

 

“What about the donor, Kimmy?” Paul asked snidely, “you gonna tell him
or what?” 

 

“The donor, so that’s what you call him these days?” Kim clenched her
jaw, it wasn’t worth getting upset. If she wanted to be serious, maybe
that’s all he was. But even so, it didn’t need to be said – especially
not with their son around.

 

As he pointed toward her stomach, Paul just shook his head, “what? Maybe
when the kid is 10? 15? Is that when? What the hell are you waiting for?”

 

“What does it matter to you?” Kim fired back, “since when are you
involved in this?”

 

“Since when am I involved? Since when?” Paul got up from the couch, his
anger quickly rising. When it came to Matty, he took nothing lightly.
“Since my son’s mother got herself knocked up by a deadbeat… that’s when
I got involved…”  he stammered, “since she decided it would be great to
carry this asshole’s child, and raise the bastard on her own…”

 

“Shut up!” she snapped. Kim breathed deeper, “we’re not having this
discussion, not again and certainly not now!”

 

Not wanting to hear any more excuses, Paul was ready to have it out –
work seemed irrelevant. Right then. Right there – he wanted her to hear
him. He was sick of it. He wouldn’t have his son jeopardized by his
mother’s mistakes. Paul glanced upstairs, to make sure Matty was there.
“I won’t have him around my child, Kimberly…I won’t…” Paul looked her in
the eyes, “if you even think that you’re going to keep that man under
the same roof as my son…”

 

“You know what, Paul, you can just save your threats… cause I’m gonna
call my lawyer…” Kim ran her hand nervously over her stomach, “what I do
in my house is my decision…”

 

“Than pay your own goddamn mortgage,” he sneered. “Better yet, why don’t
you ask Jr.’s daddy to? Oh, that’s right… all his extra money goes up
his nose!”

 

“You’re an ass, Paul…” Kim bit down hard on her lip, refusing to let his
cruel words sink in. She knew what happened. She knew who he was. She
didn’t need reminders. Glancing up the stairs, Kim was desperate to get
out of there. “Matty, let’s go!” she yelled. 

 

Peeking his head out from his room, Matty looked down at them, “but I
thought you said I could stay?”

 

“Not tonight, Matty…” Kim shot a glare back toward Paul, “Daddy has to
work, so maybe next time…”

 

“Guess he should just be glad he knows who his Daddy is…” Paul said with
a laugh, “too bad you can’t say the same for someone else…”

 

“Screw you…” she replied under her breath. It took everything in her not
to cry. She did that at the drop of a hat these days. Telling him about
the baby was not her first choice, but Kim reached a point where the
news wasn’t so easy to hide.

 

Almost feeling bad to see her so vulnerable, Paul walked up beside her,
“really, Kimmy – what are you going to do?”

 

“I don’t know….” Kim swallowed hard; she hadn’t given it that much
thought as of late. The further she got, the more inevitable she knew
her choice would be.

 

“You run a check on him, lately?” he asked flatly.

 

Kim shook her head. She saw no point.

 

The response she gave came as no surprise to Paul. She knew as well as
he did that this rich prick didn’t reflect well on her or her career.
That’s when he made his decision – he’d run the check himself. He was
sure something would come up.  It his mind, it wasn’t as much about
helping Kim as it was protecting his son.

 

**

Pittsburgh Police Station, 8:58 PM

 

Silence – that’s what there was. There were no words that needed to be
said between them.  There was nothing they could do besides wait. Nick
was leaned up against the cold cement wall, his previous trips to the
prison discouraging the idea of lying or sitting on the bed. That’s
where his father was, a choice that Nick attributed to old his age and
the mere fact that he didn’t know any better.

 

Prison, he believed, was a place his father hadn’t been before – except
maybe to bail him, the wayward son, out.

 

Wasn’t life funny, or so Nick once thought.

 

“Where’s that Darger at?” Burton finally asked.

 

“They said we had to wait…” Nick shifted his weight, trying to resist
the temptation to sit, “I guess something came up…”

 

Burton nodded. “I got a hold of Aunt Liz; she said she’d be down here
soon as she could.”

 

“Bail wasn’t set yet,” Nick reminded him.

 

“I know, but I wanna get the hell out of here…”  Burton glanced up at
his son, almost sympathetically, “I know that this is the last place you
need to be right now…”

 

By now, the anger had dissipated. All Nick felt was numbness. He didn’t
want to talk. He just wanted to be left alone.

 

“Nicholas,” he said, loudly, as if to capture his attention. Burton got
up from the bed, and started toward him.

 

Waving him back, Nick shook his head, “Dad, just don’t…”

 

All though he blamed the circumstances, Nick’s icy response still hurt.
It always did. He stared at him a long moment, and then turned away and
sat back down.

 

A phone’s ring pierced the silence that filled the small cell. Not
having his own with, Burton knew it belonged to his son.

 

“Shut that damn thing off!” Burton barked, not wanting them to have any
more problems.

 

“WAIT!” Nick looked down at the display. Three missed calls. Three new
messages. One saved Message.  He scrolled the missed calls. LSP. Lulu’s
house. Lulu’s cell.

 

The saved message was hers, from earlier. He didn’t want to listen to it
again. Not till he spoke to her, in person.

 

His heart heavy, Nick pressed play and held the phone to his ear. The
automated voice answered. “First new message…”

 

Nick waited. “Nick, its me… about earlier… I guess… I guess…maybe later,
if you want… I just need to see you,  I meant, what I said last night. I
just want you to know that, but if… if this is what  you want, to end
this…just, you have to tell me…”

 

His finger knew the button, the message was saved. “Next new message…”

 

He waited, again. He knew it would be her. “Mom said you stopped by. I’m
sorry that, sorry I missed you…uh, if you want to, later, please give me
a call.”

 

That message was saved too. “Next new message…” 

 

Just then, the older, gray haired cop behind the desk got up. He saw
Nick and shook his head, “you can’t use that in here, Buddy…”

 

An unfamiliar number showed up on the display. He listened anyway,
“Nick, its Judy Lieberman from the Legal Center in Berkeley. I just
wanted to call and thank you for the reference you gave us. I must
admit, I had my doubts with the lack of experience… but WOW… she’s
something else. Reminds me a lot of myself in my younger days. Nothing
is final yet, but I think it’ll be a go…Quite frankly, I’m surprised you
didn’t want to keep a talent like that at the firm for yourself. Anyway,
thanks again…I’ll let you know how it turns out.”

 

<Oh  God, what have I done?> he asked silently, <what the fuck have I done?>

 

At that moment, Nick was certain that his heart dropped. He swallowed
hard and realized how much he hated himself. 

 

“Buddy, give it over…” the cop approached the cell and held out his hand.

 

Nick glanced at the phone again; the display said there was a new
message. “Just let me…”

 

“Buddy, give me the phone…” the cop demanded loudly.

 

“Please, I just need to…” Nick glanced at the cop, he was showing no
empathy.

 

Reaching his hand into the cell, the cop snatched the phone from Nick’s
hands. “You’ll get this back when you’re released.”

 

“When’s that gonna be?” he returned snidely.

 

“Darger has to talk to you first…” the cop walked back toward the desk
and sat down, “until then, you wait.”

 

Infuriated by his boldness, Nick walked up to the bars, “and where the
hell is Darger? Hunh? Where the hell is he?”

 

“You know what, Buddy? World doesn’t revolve around rich, pretty boys
like you. Real crimes happen all the time,” the cop fired back, “so I
suggest you sit down and shut up, wait your turn…”

 

“I have rights, you know, I’m a lawyer and…” Nick stopped himself there,
realizing he could only make things worse.

 

“Well, being a lawyer doesn’t make you exempt from anything. Darger’s
down at LSP right now…” the cop explained.  

 

LSP. His heart stopped again. “What happened at LSP?” Nick asked
urgently, but mindful of his tone.

 

<LSP. Oh God. Please don’t let her be there. Please. Please> He looked
over to his father, but saw no signs of reassurance.

 

Hearing LSP, Burton got up and stood next to his son, “something goin’
on down there?”

 

“You could say that…”  the cop looked back at the paperwork littering
his desk, “Darger will get to you when he gets back – we’ve got all night…”

 

Burton glanced at Nick, “what did he say ‘bout LSP?”

 

Nick shrugged, “I don’t know, I guess…”

 

Another uniform cop ran into the cell block, and headed straight toward
the officer at the desk, “Darger just called, he wants a few extra
squads out – woman gave a description of the man she saw at the elevator…”

 

“Woman?” Nick yelled out, panicked. “Who was she?”

 

<Oh God. Oh God. It’s her. It’s her. I just know it is. Caroline said
she’d be stopping back by the office. After the appointment. I didn’t
call her. Oh God. Oh God…> his heart pounded madly in his chest as
painful scenes took over his mind <not like this, please don’t let it
end like this>

 

“You in this conversation?”  the old cop shouted back.

 

“Nicholas,” Burton walked over to his son, “come on now… just… just…” 

 

The younger officer glanced at Nick and back at the old cop, “the two
upstairs were dead, one who found them is pretty shaken up. Got some
other employees in, still waiting on the director, I’m gonna go down
there, see what Darger needs…”

 

“DEAD!?!?” Nick looked at his father in horror, the unanswered questions
in his mind tearing him up, “DEAD?”

 

<Please God, don’t let it be her. Don’t let it be her> he prayed
silently, <I know I’ve done bad things. I know that she’s gonna leave
me, but don’t let it be like this…It’s one thing to lose her to life,
but not to death… Please God…I can’t do it… I can’t do it again>

 

“Nicholas…” Burton put his hand firmly on his son’s shoulder, “Nicholas,
be calm…we don’t know what happened yet…”

 

Beyond reason, Nick shook his head defiantly, “what’s there to know,
Dad? Tell me… what’s there to know? She… she… she could be…” he paused,
unable to say those terrible words. “I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL
HAPPENED!!!” Nick shouted abruptly.

 

“Okay, Son, okay…” Burton glanced over his shoulder, and saw the
television set in the corner of the room. He cast a glance toward the
old cop, “ ‘scuse me, sir, you think we could turn that television on,
maybe get some news?”

 

The cop looked back at Burton, “no more privileges till after questioning…”

 

“Please, I’m just lookin’ for the news. I’d like to know what happened
at LSP…” Burton stepped away from Nick, and approached the bars, “my
son, you see…”

 

“Dad, no…” Nick walked over to the bars, standing beside his father, and
stared at the cop in the chair. “I’m concerned, okay, I’d like to know
what happened there, there at LSP, because I have interests there…”

 

<Interests? Is that all she is? Just an interest?> Nick asked himself,
<she’ll be the mother of your child, the woman you want to share your
life with, the woman you…> he stopped there.

 

The cop got up from the chair, “you heard me, no privileges until you
speak with Darger…”

 

“Privileges? Privileges?” Nick sneered, his blood nearly boiling in his
veins, “the woman… the woman…the woman there… I… I JUST NEED TO KNOW
THAT SHE’S OKAY!” 

 

“Well,” the old cop started, no more inclined to help them than before,
“maybe had you been there, with her, instead of kicking the shit out of
some helpless man in the parking lot – you’d know…”

 

<You think I don’t fuckin’ know that?> he wanted to yell, <you think I
don’t fuckin’ know?>

 

Grabbing onto the bars, Nick lunged forward. He held onto them with all
his might, breathing deeply. He could feel his father’s eyes upon him.
Burning through his skin. Lulu’s call. Judy’s call.  Now this. It all
began to sink in. He hadn’t hated himself this much in a long, long time…

 

**

 

To be continued…