Love Always, Your Mother 
 
Author: J Bigelow (JoJo)

Rating: PG-13

Email: jbigelow@wsc.ma.edu
 
Summary: Nick meets a young woman who will impact his life forever.

Author's Notes: Nick Fallin, Burton Fallin, Anne Fallin and
"Lulu"Archer are taken Directly from "The Guardian" Joanne and the Giovannis are 
my own creation. This story assumes that Lulu was never offered a job at Berkley. Any
Resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental, similarity of events,
dates, characters or the portrayal of events is unintentional. Special thanks to Bar and
Limonize for the beta read. Appreciate all their advice!
 
--+--

Nick sat at his desk at Fallin & Fallin, engrossed in the Rosen file
when his office phone rang him out of his concentration.

He instinctively reaches for the phone with his right hand, without
picking his head up from his work.

"Nick Fallin." There is only silence.

"Hello, this is Nick Fallin, may I help you?"

"Yes, ah…hi, Mr. Fallin. My name is Joanne … and I was wondering if I
could make an appointment to see you…ah, today, if possible," her
timid voice came through the phone. "I, uh, I have something
important to discuss with you and I'd rather not discuss it over the
phone if that's OK? It's a private and personal matter."

"Joanne, you said?"

"Yeah."

"Okay Joanne, Well, can you give me some kind of indication as to what
this may be about?" He said eagerly, hoping she would result in a new
lucrative client for Fallin & Fallin.

"I'm not really sure how to… or what to say, but I… I think, I think
we're related… maybe."

Nick squinted in confusion. His compete attention was now focused on
what Joanne had been struggling to tell him. He began to speculate:
Was she a long lost cousin? (He knew there were many on his father's
side he didn't know). After a moment he replied.
"Okay… ?"

She didn't allow him to finish. She could tell she had caught him off
guard, and that he was uncomfortable - perhaps even as much as she -
about dropping this suspicious "bomb" in his lap.

"Mr. Fallin, umm…I'm in town on business for the day and I was hoping
we could meet around 7:00, since I'm flying back to New York on the
9:10 flight. Do you think we could get some dinner or a drink and
talk?"

Nick hesitated. "Uhh… sure, I guess…do you know where is The Incline
is? "

"Not exactly, but I'll find it. And thanks. I really appreciate you
taking the time to meet with me at the last minute.

"Yeah, okay. Bye," Nick replied, his brow furrowed with quizzical
look.

"Bye."

Nick walked down the hall to his father's office and knocked on the
door. "Come in," Burton called out. Looking up over the top of his
glasses, he greeted his son, "Oh, good morning, Nicholas." Burton
looked down and continued to peruse the file in front of him.

"Morning," Nick replied while running his hand down the back of his
head and then shoving both hands deep in his pockets. Nick hesitated,
uncertain if he should broach the subject of this so-called relative.
Burton looked up in response to his son's silence, "What's up
Nicholas? Did you want to see me about something?"

"Yeah, I was wondering if you knew if we had any relatives, cousins,
or someone by the name of Joanne?"

"Oh I don't know Nicholas, off the top of head I can't say that I do,
why?"

"Uh, no reason. No. Actually, I just got a call from a woman who
believes we may be related. She said her name is Joanne."

Burton inquired, "Well son, does this Joanne have a last name?"

"I don't know we just spoke briefly over the phone. I'm going to meet
her at The Incline later. I guess I'll find out then."

Burton, only half listening and still engrossed in his work, looked up
over his glasses and halfheartedly said, "Well let me know how that
goes. Okay?"

Nick turned to leave. Glancing back at this father he replied, "Yeah
sure," and closed the door behind him.

Nick wished his father had recognized the name "Joanne" as one of his
cousins or had shown some recognition. At least that would ease his
mind, but Burton didn't seem to indicate that he knew her or was even
remotely interested in knowing who this woman was.

Nick went back to his office, put the file he was working on in his
brief case and headed over to Legal Services. He struggled to forget
about that phone call and who this woman could be, but it distracted
him most of the morning. Who could she be? How old was she? What was
she doing in Pittsburgh? Nick's father did have relatives living in
New York but Nick didn't know them very well. After some time of
letting his imagination run wild, he decided to get his mind back on
his work. Surely this wasn't worth stressing over. It had to be a
first or second cousin just catching up on the family tree.

~ * ~
Lulu approached the broom closet, poked her head in and knocked on the
opened door.

"Hey Nick, how's it going?" she asked, closing the door behind her.

Nick looked up to see Lulu standing in the doorway, " Ah…I'm good,
you?"

"I'm good. Alvin wants us to work together on this case. Do you want
me to leave the file with you to review it before we talk? I've
already read it."

"Yeah, just leave it on my desk and I'll take a look at it as soon as
I finish with this."

Lulu walked around to Nick's side of the desk and placed the case file
in the in-basket next to Nick's right arm. Her hip just barely grazing
his right shoulder, Nick could smell that sweet clean scent of her
skin and he shyly stole a glace at her from the corner of his eye. He
loved the way she smelled. It wasn't a perfume or anything he could
put his finger on. It was just her, she just had her own scent. Lulu
looked down at Nick as she caught his glance, she could tell something
was bothering him.

Looking into his eyes she said softly, "What is it Nick? Is everything
OK?

"It's nothing," Lulu could make him forget anything. Nick rolled his
chair back and stood close to Lulu. "I'm fine, it's just, that ah…" he
reached out for her face with his hand. He gently guided her face
with his finger and thumb under her chin to his lips…"you smell so
great." Nick brought her hand to his mouth and kissed the inside of
her palm. Lulu closed her eyes and exhaled a breathy sigh. She
delighted in his touch and the way he made her melt inside. She
slowly took her hand away and held his face in her hands. She kissed
him on the lips and whispered is his ear, "Not here, not at work, not
anymore," as she stepped away from him. She continued holding his
hand.

Nick walked with her as she walked toward the door. He extended his
arm in an effort to not let her go. As she reached the door and
turned the knob to open it, Nick placed his hand on the door holding
it closed to prevent her escape. He kissed the back of her neck, and
heard her respond with a small whimper, indicating to Nick that she
didn't want him to stop. Lulu turned the latch on the door, securing
their privacy. She was determined not to relive another fiasco, like
week before.

Nick's body was firmly pressed against her back as she leaned into
him. He caressed her neck and ears with warm sensual kisses. She
could barely stand it. Lulu removed his hands from the door and
pressed them to her breasts. Slowly and deliberately Nick's hands
began to explore the front of her body. Lulu turned around inside his
embrace and now stood to face him. Nick stepped back to gauge her
expression, wondering if he should continue. He knew how she felt
about inappropriate behavior at the office. They watched each other
for a moment, both slightly grinning, then embraced each other and
bean kissing passionately.

Nick began kissing her neck just under her ear, causing Lulu's insides
to "flutter." He breath quicken as she quietly moaned light sighs of
whispered pleasures. Struggling to silence herself, she pulled away
slightly allowing Nick the welcomed opportunity to cover her mouth
fully. Lulu's hands and arms were excitedly, probing Nick's back from
his shoulders to his well-defined buttocks, discovering the warmth of
his body and tightening of muscles. Both Nick and Lulu were beginning
to lose themselves and had, just for a moment, forgotten where they
were when Nick's cell phone rang them into the present. Knowing it
was probably a Fallin & Fallin client, he slowly extricated himself
from Lulu's embrace, cleared his throat and mouthed a silent, "Sorry."
He came around the desk and answered the phone while Lulu collected
herself, fluffed her hair, straightened her clothes.

Recognizing the number, he answered it abruptly, "Yeah Dad, what is
it?" -
"Yes, I'll be back around four…well, if you need the file it's on my
desk, Gretchen has a key. Our meeting isn't until four-thirty.
Ahh... Dad, I'm in a meeting right now can I call you a little later?
Okay, bye."

Nick put away his cell phone and returned to Lulu in front of his
desk. He kissed her on the forehead and whispered. "You're right, we
shouldn't do this at work. I have an appointment at seven at The
Incline but I'd like to see you after that if it's all right with
you?"

Lulu smiled and said, "My house eight o'clock?"

Nick grinned mischievously. "Eight o'clock it is."

And with another quick peck on the lips Lulu went back to her office
blushing ever so slightly, and Nick grinned watching her go.

~ * ~

The rest of Nick's afternoon flew by. The Rosen merger with his father
had gone well. He was in his office prioritizing a few files for his
agenda the next day when his PDA buzzed to remind him of his
appointment at The Incline.

Nick grabbed two files off his desk and shoved them into his brief
case and headed for the door. On his way out he gave a few
instructions to Claire regarding the final corrections on the Rosen
merger. Claire had done the majority of the work and both Nick and
Burton were impressed with her abilities. With a quick nod goodnight,
he was out the door.

As usual, Nick arrived at the Incline fifteen minutes late. He
approached the hostess.

"Hi Katie, I'm meeting someone here for a meeting. Has anyone asked
for me? I'm a little late."

"So what else is new Nick," she laughed. "You're always keeping
someone waiting, but no, I haven't heard anyone request you yet. I'll
keep an eye on the door for ya."

He slid into an open booth in a quiet, non-smoking area of the
restaurant and sat so that he could monitor the door. Nick perused
the menu, even though he knew it by heart, and decided he wasn't
really hungry. He ordered a club soda and checked his watch. She must
be running late. As the server returned with his drink he saw a woman
approach the hostess and with a quick glance, Katie escorted her to
Nick's table. As she walked across the restaurant, Nick didn't
recognize her. But something about her seemed familiar. He couldn't
really place it, but he thought he may have met her somewhere before.
After all, he did work in New York maybe they had worked together or
she worked somewhere in the Word Trade Center where his previous
office was located.

He noticed that she looked to be about his age. She had shoulder
length, brownish-red hair not overly styled. Her simple cut, tucked
neatly behind her ears suited her. She didn't look anything like his
other cousins. Dressed stylishly in a tailored, navy blue pant-suit -
definitely designer material -Nick could appreciate that, given his
proclivity for fine clothing.

Upon reaching the table, she thanked Katie and Nick stood to greet her
with a handshake. She had a beautiful, welcoming smile that Nick
found very inviting coupled with her warm brown eyes.

Joanne reached out and shook his hand, "Hi Mr. Fallin, sorry I'm late.
I'm Joanne Giovanni."

"I'm Nick," he said, momentarily taking her hand. Joanne slid her
briefcase across the booth and they both sat down.

Already slightly uncomfortable by the instance silence after their
initial greeting, Nick asked, "Would you like a drink or something?"

"Ah, yeah, a beer would be great, thank you." Nick managed to catch
the eye of the waitress and order a beer and another club soda. The
waitress inquired about a dinner order but both Nick and Joanne
declined.

Silence fell again. It was Nick that spoke this time.

"So, you wanted to see me about…?"

"Yes, ah, I'm sorry, I'm just having a little trouble getting
started."

The waitress returned with their drinks and she took a long sip from
the glass, obviously mustering up some courage.

"I…ah…was wondering if you were familiar with a Rose and Primo
Giovanni?"

Nick searched, only momentarily, for the recollection of the name, but
did not, and shaking his head, said, "No."

"Well, they're my parents. Actually, they adopted me when I was only
a few days old, and ….I didn't know that until a few weeks ago
myself."

"Okay?" Nick said.

"You see, a couple of weeks ago I found out that I have ovarian
cancer," she said timidly. Nick's eyes moved from his hands, directly
into her eyes. Their eyes locked momentarily until she broke their
gaze and stared down at the table between them.

"My doctor wants me to provide him with a family history to assist us
with scheduling a course of action. He believes that family history
can be an excellent indicator of my prognosis and could assist him
with determining a proper course of treatment."

"Oh, well, I'm sorry that you're ill, but I don't understand what this
has to do with me."

Joanne took another sip, and took a deep breath.

"Well, the thing is, when I told my parents about my condition, they
were unable to assist me with my family history because I was adopted.
They were able to give me the name of the adoption agency and what
little information they had about my mother. Apparently they met
regularly during the last two and a half months of my mother's
pregnancy. I was told that my mother discovered she had ovarian
cancer when she was pregnant with me and she chose not to have
treatments until after I was born. She gave me up because she knew
she would be unable to care for me after I was born. They also knew
she had another child, a son who was 2 ½ years old.

Nick was losing his patience. He began to fidget in his seat, staring
at his fingers firmly laced together on the table in front of him,
still not understanding what all of this had to do with him.

Joanne's nerves got the better of her and she blurted out…."Anyway, I
was told that my mother's name was Anne Fallin." And without taking a
breath, she rapidly fired out question after question. "I was hoping
you could tell me if you are related to her, and if so, how I could
find her and if you know if she is okay and, …are you her son?…I've
been trying to find her and…some of the adoption papers refer to a
Nicholas S. Fallin , and, well, I…I saw your name listed in the phone
book….

Nicholas' head jerked up and his eyes flew open wide. He stared with
alarm, directly into Joanne's eyes. His mouth went dry. He could o
longer hear anything she said.
Shocked, he struggled to focus his concentration, and come to grips
with what he heard.

It seemed like minutes went by when truly only seconds passed. They
both sat there waiting for the other to say something and neither of
them knowing what to say.
Finally, Nick quenched his sudden thirst, completely drained his glass
of soda.

Joanne spoke first, softly, clearly exhausted from having keep all of
this in for so long.
"I'm sorry Nick, I'm not good at this, and it's all so new to me too.
I just didn't know how to ask or what to say. I suppose I should have
thought more thoroughly about how to bring this up before unloading on
you." Nick still did not respond. He just leaned back in the booth,
trying to keep his distance and soak in what this woman was saying.
But he couldn't. It was like a dream, a very bad dream.

Joanne removed a large envelope from her briefcase and placed it on
the table. "This is a copy of the information I received from the
adoption agency. I'll just leave it here with you. When you have a
chance, could you please look through it and call me if you think you
can help. My business card is inside the envelope. Oh, by the way,
there's a letter in the envelop from my mother. Apparently she wrote
it the day after I was born, but the adoption agency never gave it to
my parents. It was still in my file. … Thirty-one years and it was
still in the file. Quietly, she mused, "Can you believe that?"

"Nick, I really am sorry to dump all of this on you, I know how
difficult this is, believe me, I do. I'm still dealing with all of
this myself, wish I had more time to talk but I have to catch my
flight and I've obviously upset you. So…anyway."

Joanne collected her brief case and slid out of the booth. Nick
didn't move and didn't say anything. She stood for another moment at
the edge of table looking at Nick hoping he would say something,
anything, but nothing; not a word, not even goodbye. He couldn't even
look at her. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a ten-dollar
bill and left it on the table. Tears began to well up in her eyes,
feeling badly about the bomb she had dropped on him but mostly because
she wanted him to say something, anything, to confirm or deny. But
Nick neither moved, nor blinked. He simply stared into space , leaving
Joanne alone in her pain. Tears streamed down her face, quickly she
and left.

She hailed a cab and headed to the airport.

Nick finally got himself together, picked up the envelope and started
for home. He wanted to open the envelope in a more private place if he
was going to open it at all. He wasn't sure he could even bring
himself to open it. In the car he remembered he was supposed to be at
Lulu's at eight. He checked the digital clock in the Beamer and saw
that it was already 8:17pm. He turned his car around and headed for
Lulu's.

~ * ~

Lulu answered the door, dressed in a form fitting tee shirt and a
comfortable pair of jeans. Nick's tie and top button of his dress
shirt were open loosely around his neck and he looked drained. She
leaned in to kiss him and he barely responded with a peck on the lips.

"Wow, what's with you? You look really tired, are you OK?" Lulu asked
as she walked into the living room and sat on the sofa. Nick followed
slowly with his hands in his pockets and paced back and forth between
the window and the chair next to the couch.

"Nick, what is it? You're making me nervous. "

"I don't know what to say really," Nick replied

"Well, whatever it is, just say it."

"I uhh, I just had a meeting this young woman and she's ah sick,
ovarian cancer."

"Oh, that's awful," Lulu said with a sigh and bring her hand to her
chest. "Does she need you to help her with her will?"

"No, it turns out that she was adopted and is looking for her
biological mother to fill in some family history, so her doctor can
determine the best course of treatment."

"Well what does this have to do with you?"

"She's been led to believe that …that my mother gave birth to her and
then gave her up because she knew she was sick and wouldn't be able to
take care her."

Stunned, Lulu said, "What?" There is a long a pause. "Well, is she….
is she your sister?"

Nick was pacing. He couldn't seem to wrap his mind around all of
this. What would his father say? How could he not know about this?
And if he truly didn't know about this baby was she even his? Burton
had informed Nick of his mother's infidelities. Maybe it wasn't the
cancer that made his mother give her away, maybe it was one of her
affairs. Nick's mind was reeling. He knew Rosita, his father's
housekeeper, had major part in raising him, even completely taking
over when his mother traveled with his father on business or vacation.
He rubbed the back of his neck for a moment stood motionless. Lulu
knew that Nick could not answer any of her questions. She got up from
the chair and slowly approached Nick. They stood in front each other,
Nick with his hands on his hips and after a few moments, Lulu reached
out and wrapped her arms around his chest and held him tight. Nick
accepted her embrace and circled his arms around her and rested his
chin on the top of Lulu's head, squeezing his eyes closed. They stood
in that embrace for a long while. Lulu whispered, "How can I help you
with this?"

Nick's response was barely audible, "I don't know…. I don't know."

Eventually they released each other and Lulu sat down on the sofa
summoning Nicholas to sit next to her.

"Nick, how did she, what, what is her name?"

"Joanne, her name is Joanne Lynn Giovanni," Nick said. "I guess the
adoption agency had some basic information about my…her mother and
that led her to me. She gave me a copy of the adoption information
but I haven't been able to look at it yet."

"Well, where is it? Lulu asked

"It's in the car" Nick replied.

"I think you should get it, and we can go through it together….if you
want to. I mean, you really shouldn't do this alone Nick. Did you
ever think this might be a scam, maybe she's after your money or your
father's money." Lulu sounded almost panicked.

"I thought about that already, but…I, I don't know, something about
her seems genuine. I didn't get the feeling she wanted anything from
me other than to know the truth and to try to get enough medical
history to make some decisions about her health. "I'll go get the
envelope."

~ * ~

Joanne got a cab outside of The Incline and went directly to the
airport to catch her flight. In the cab her head was spinning with
all the questions she should have asked Nick while she had the chance.
But, judging from Nick's reaction she felt certain she wouldn't hear
from him again. Her thoughts turned to worry as she began to feel
completely drained from the trip and her meeting with Nick. She was
tired all the time lately. She worried about how long her life would
be? Could she survive? If she was strong enough to handle
chemotherapy? If she would die? Would there be a lot of pain? Would
she be fearful of death at that moment or would she embrace it? She
wondered, would she ever know the brother she always longed to have.
She couldn't stop thinking about everything. Would he call? Could he
find it in heart to forgive her for disrupting his life? She knew
deep in her soul that Nicholas was her brother. She only hoped that he
would come through for her. She could get well and they could come
know each other, maybe even love each other as only a brother and
sister should. Exhaustion finally took over and she slept the rest of
the flight.

~ * ~

He had retrieved the envelope from his car and Nick and Lulu poured
the contents out onto the coffee table: A birth certificate indicating
that the child, a baby girl, born six weeks premature, weighing 6 lbs
8 oz, 18 inches long, named, Joanne Lynn, born August 30th, 1972 in
Mount Aire at 4:31am to Anne Lynn Fallin, born 1940. Information on
the father was left blank. Under other siblings, it listed one, a
Nicholas S. Fallin born 11/19/69. Adoptive parents: Rose and Vincent
Giovanni of Little Italy, New York. They owned and operated their own
restaurant. Their paperwork indicated that the Giovanni's could not
conceive their own and had been on the list waiting to adopt a child
for 3 years. There was a list of several eligible adoptive parents,
but it appeared that the Giovanni's were the best match according to
the forms and his mother's hand written notes. As they sorted through
the papers, Nicholas picked up a small, faded pink envelope with the
name 'Joanne' handwritten on the front. He studied the writing on the
front of the envelope. He would recognize that writing anywhere. It
was hers. His mother's handwriting was beautiful, with a light,
swaying and comforting quality. Nick had saved the last birthday card
his mom had given him before her death and still kept in his desk at
home. Nick held this pink envelope in his hands, not truly ready to
open it.

Lulu found a medical ID bracelet with his mother's name on it and a
photograph of his mother holding an infant. Lulu noticed how
beautiful his mother looked and handed it to Nick.

Nick took a deep breath and sighed quietly. He stared at that picture
for a long time and said.

"She looks so tired there, so ….sad. She looks like her," Nick said
in almost a whisper.

"The baby?" Lulu questioned. "How can you tell? You can barely make
her out in that picture."

"No, I mean now, the way she looks now, the color of her hair…and her,
her eyes- she has my mother's eyes."

Nick set the photo on the coffee table and leaned back on the sofa,
that pink envelope still in his right hand. Lulu leaned back into
him; he lifted his left arm to allow her to fall into the crook of his
arm. She placed left hand on the center of his chest. They just
rested there together quietly, absorbing all of the information they
had taken in. Lulu looked up at Nick who now pinched his eyes closed
with his right thumb and index finger, in an effort to stop the tears.
She reached out for the pink envelope and gently took it from his
hand. Nick opened his eyes and nodded to Lulu, indicating to her that
she could open the letter and read it. The envelope wasn't sealed- it
must have been read by Joanne. The paper was folded in thirds and
was brittle and the folded seams were already beginning to crack.
Lulu opened the fragile letter and held it up so that Nick could see
as she read out loud from the page:

"Dear Joanne-

"I'm fairly certain this letter will never reach you, but I find it
necessary to write anyway."
"I wanted you to know how much I love you and want to keep you, but
there are circumstance beyond my control that make it impossible for
me to be the mother you deserve. Your father does not know I am ill
and doesn't know about you. He will never understand or forgive me for
what I'm doing to you."

"I can't begin to explain my actions, but I wanted you to have a life
filled with the happiness and joy of knowing a real mother who can
care for you, laugh with you and enjoy you, as it should be. The
Giovannis are wonderful people who will love and cherish you. One day
I hope you will know your father and brother and include them in your
life.

When I saw you and held you for the last time today, I saw your
strength. I know you will grow up to be a strong and willful woman.
You remind me so much of Nicholas, he too has a mind of his own. I
hope one day, you can forgive me."

Love Always, your Mother,
Anne

Tears streamed freely down Nick's face as he sat in silence. Lulu put
the letter back in the envelope and placed it gently on the coffee
table. She reached behind her for the quilt on the top of the sofa
and covered them with it. Lulu and Nick didn't say anything. There
was really nothing she could say to comfort him, she just wrapped
Nick's left arm tightly around her, kissed the palm of his hand, laid
her head in his lap and closed her eyes. Nick sunk down into the
corner of the sofa, resting his head on the back of the cushion. He
looked down at Lulu and with his free hand began stroking her hair and
soon, mercifully, drifted off to sleep.

~ * ~

Joanne's plane arrived uneventfully. She retrieved her luggage from
the carousel and hailed a cab. She arrived at her small apartment
around midnight, shed her top coat and briefcase in the entry hall.
Exhausted from the trip she sat on the edge of the bed and fell back
on the mattress in her cloths and closed her eyes. She couldn't get
Nicholas out of her mind, she felt terrible about uprooting his life
and she continued to punish herself for the way she told him. She
could have handled everything better. She saw the answering machine,
on the nightstand next to the bed blinking. She sat up quickly hoping
there was a message from Nick. She walked over to the nightstand and
looked at the machine "3" flashed in the little window. Her heart
began to beat faster and she pressed the button. The first message
was from a colleague, Jack Willey, a good friend and calling to
inquiring about her trip. Message number two was her mother Rose, who
as usual was just checking in on her daughter as she did almost
everyday. The urgency in her voice was evidence that she too was
curious about Joanne's attempt at connecting with biological family.
The last message was the local dry cleaner. Her favorite Chanel suit
was ready for pick up. Her heart sank a little as she said to
herself, "What were you expecting, a miracle?"

She stripped off her clothes, turned on the bath water and filled the
bath with her favorite cucumber melon bath gel and climbed in. The
steaming hot bath seemed to calm her and she made an important
decision. In the morning she would call her doctor and they would
make the best decisions they could without knowing what happened to
her mother and she would simply try to forget she was adopted and be
thankful, as she truly was, for the life the Giovanni's had given her.
 
 
~ * ~
Nick jolted awake. It took him a moment to realize where he was and
then noticed Lulu still asleep in his lap. His eyes took a moment to
adjust to the darkened room. He scanned the coffee table and
recognized the items scattered across it. He saw the pink letter Lulu
had read before exhaustion overtook them.

He remembered parts of the nightmare that woke him from his
comfortable slumber. His mother and father were arguing. His mother,
wanting another baby and his father telling Anne, emphatically, "No."
Nick could hear his father's words, "It's too much of a risk, it
would be too difficult for you. You barely carried Nicholas eight
months, we could have lost him and I could have lost you. I don't
want to take the chance of losing you or having Nicholas grow up
without his mother. I love you Anne, can't we just be happy with our
boy and the family we have now?"

Nicholas could remember his mother wanting lots of children when he
was small. That's probably why she loved having the neighborhood kids
play at their house. She was always making cookies and cutting up
pieces of fruit for afternoon snacks. It was well known in the
neighborhood that Mrs. Fallin made the best cookies!

Nick gently untangled himself from Lulu's grip and substituted a
pillow to cushion her head in place of his lap. Lulu stirred slightly
and let out a tiny moan, Nick stood very still as to not wake her and
then covered her with the quilt and gently rubbed her back.

Nick walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water from the
fridge. He cracked open the cap, backed his hips against the counter
and leaning on his left arm. Nick drained almost half of the bottle
before taking a breath. He thought about how and what he would tell
his father about Joanne. How would his father handle this news? He
knew he would have to prove this to him. How could he not know his
wife was pregnant? His father must have known something was wrong
with her or maybe not, God knows he was so involved with getting the
firm started he hardly noticed much. Most nights his father slept in
the guest room or the sofa. That was probably the reason he didn't
notice his wife's pregnancy.

Suddenly, Nick was angry all over again at his father. He shook his
head as if to shake the anger away. This was squarely on his mother's
shoulders. He could blame his father for something he didn't know
about. The thought of his mother giving up a baby just didn't sit
right with him. How could she have done this, and what did she mean
she was "ill"? Nick remembered so clearly how sick his mother was
when he was ten. But according to her letter, Nick would have only
been two and half. Did she know she had cancer all this time? How
could she have ignored it all that time? Nick couldn't help but
think, if she had taken care of herself sooner, maybe she would still
be alive today. That thought broke his heart.

He put the water bottle down on the counter. Turning around, he placed
the palms of his hands firmly on the counter and leaned his weight on
his arms. His head hung low and a few tears escaped from his tightly
closed eyes.

Lulu, now awake and missing the warmth of Nick's body, wrapped the
quilt around herself and went in search of her man. She found him in
the kitchen, his back to her. Quietly, she leaned against the door
frame and watched him for a moment. He must have been deeply
concentrating, she thought, because he did not hear her approach.

"Nick," she whispered.

Nick didn't move, but he lifted his head a bit at the sound of her
raspy voice.

"Yeah," He answered without turning around.
"Are you OK?" she asked as she approach him and leaned her head
against his back and wrapped her quilted arms around his chest,
squeezing him tightly.

"Yeah, I'm good," he said, removing his hands from the counter and
placing them over her hands. "I'm fine."

I few moments passed as they stood in this embrace. Slowly Nick
turned himself around in Lulu's arms, wrapped his arms around her back
and kissed her on the top of her head.

"Come on Lulu, let's go to bed, tomorrow's gonna be another long day."

He took her by the hand and led her to her room.
 
--+--
 
Joanne awoke Thursday morning at 6:00am. She rolled out of bed still
exhausted from her trip to Pittsburgh, but she believed in sticking to
her schedule. She threw on a pair of shorts, a sweatshirt and running
shoes and grabbed her disk player as she headed out the door. She
used to run three miles a day until about six weeks ago, but since her
diagnosis she had to settle for a gingerly walk each morning. She
vowed to stick to her routine as much as could for as long as she
could, knowing that eventually, she would have to give it up. There
would be lots of things she would have to give up, but she was
determined to not give in, she would not let cancer beat her.

During her walk she tried not to think about Nick, but it was almost
impossible.
She still felt terrible about how they left things, but the more she
tried to forget about it, the worse it got and the angrier she felt.
After all, her life had been turned upside down as well. Joanne began
talking to herself. 'It wasn't like I was asking you for money, or a
partnership in your firm. I just need some information. It's the
least you could do'. Jesus Christ! I've got to stop thinking about
this; I'm gonna to make myself crazy.

She turned up the volume on her disk player in an attempt to drown out
the thoughts in her head. After her walk, she showered, dressed,
grabbed a yogurt from the fridge and headed to the office. She backed
her vintage, red convertible roadster, a gift from her parents when
she graduate law school, out of the garage, and made a mental note to
call Dr. Allen when she got to work.

~ * ~

Nike woke up early after a restless night at Lulu's. He went
downstairs, collected the papers from the coffee table and placed
everything back in the envelope and put it in his briefcase. He left
without waking her. He would return to his house, shower and change
before leaving for LSP. On the drive home, Nick couldn't help but
think about his father. How would he tell him about Joanne, or would
he? It's not like she even asked about him, or maybe she did, he
couldn't really remember half of what she said, after the part about
Anne Fallin being her mother. Nick hoped his father had forgotten
about his meeting with Joanne so that he would have time to figure out
what he would tell him. He thought about Joanne too, and was feeling
a little guilty about being so non-responsive to her and her
questions. He found himself wondering what his mother would have
thought about his behavior and decided it wouldn't have been
favorable. When he got to his office at Fallin & Fallin he would make
an attempt to find his mother's medical records. He knew his father
kept them; it was just a matter of finding out where.

~ * ~

Nick arrived at LSP a little after 8:00am. He went through three
files on his desk.
He had two shelter hearings back-to-back beginning at 9:00am and a
custody hearing at 2:00pm. He read quickly through the files to
refresh his memory about each case and then put the files in his
briefcase. Nick eyed the envelope Joanne had given him, which was
also in his briefcase. He opened it and took out her business card and
considered calling her. He noticed that she is a lawyer at Doyle and
Shyberg in New York. "Huh, not bad," he thought. Doyle and Shyberg
were one of Swann and Cranston's biggest competitors. "She must be
pretty bright if they hired her," he said to himself. He looked over
at the phone and started to dial, but hung up. What the hell would he
say anyway?

Nick picked up his briefcase and headed to the elevator. As he
rounded the corner he nearly knocked over Lulu.

"Whoa, sorry," he said.

"Oh! Ah, that's Okay. Hey, what happened to you this morning? You
had me worried. I woke up and you weren't there."

"I ah, didn't sleep very well and I didn't want to wake you, so I went
home to shower," he answered.

"Well, Umm, how are you doing with…everything," she questioned.

"Ah, you know, I was just heading to court. I can't really talk right
now," he said, walking around her and pressing he call button for the
elevator.

Lulu followed him.

"Nick, you can't just pretend this didn't happen. You're going to
have to deal with this eventually."

"I know Lulu. I'm working on it," he said curtly, and stepped onto
the elevator.

Lulu sighed and stared down at the floor as the doors to the elevator
closed in front of her.

She knew instantly that pushing Nick to do something he wasn't ready
for was a bad move.

On his way to the parking lot, Nick felt bad about how rude he was to
Lulu. She didn't deserve that he thought, and called her from his cell
phone.

"Louisa Archer speaking," she answered.

"Lulu, it's me. I, ah…I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap at you."

"Well, don't let it happen again," she chuckled. "Seriously though,
I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have pushed you. I know you're under a lot
of pressure right now. I just want to help…. be there for you if… if
you'll let me," she said sincerely.

"I know Lulu, I just, ah, I just don't know what I'm doing right now.
I've got to tell my father and I don't know how or what to tell him.
I just know I have to do something soon. I need to get my mother's
medical records and at the very least mail them to her," he replied.

"Nick, you're just going to mail them to her and that's it? I mean
she's…she's your sister. Don't you want to get to know her while
she's still…I mean she's sick and I'm sure she has questions and she
came to find you. I think it's obvious that she was curious about
you. She didn't seek you out just to get some medical records.
Don't you think?" she questioned.

"I don't know what to think Lulu. Listen, I'll call you later, I'm
gonna be late for court."

"Yeah, see you later."

~ * ~

Judge Rebecca Damsen's Court Room, 9:00am.

Katie Adams sat between Nick and Laurie Solt, of Social Services when
Judge Damsen called on Nick to present his case.

"Your Honor, Katie Adams has been living with her grandmother since
the age of three. Two days ago her grandmother passed away due to
complications from a stroke. "

"What are the circumstances regarding Katie's care Mr. Fallin?" Judge
Damsen asked.

"Your Honor, Katie's mother was arrested and subsequently convicted
for Possession and Intent to distribute more than 40 grams of cocaine
and her father has never shown any interest in her. Social Service
and Legal Services of Pittsburgh have been unable to locate him over
the past five years."

"Your Honor," Ms. Adams' attorney, David Weldon interrupted. "Ms.
Adams is here in the courtroom today and would like to regain custody
of her child. She has served her sentence and completed a drug
rehabilitation program. She has a full-time job, working days as a
waitress and has acquired a two-bedroom apartment in Katie's school
district. She is ready to be a mother of her child."

"Your Honor, while Ms. Adams' recent attempts to rectify her situation
are commendable, Katie has no recollection of her mother. She is
eight years old now and has not seen her since she was three. Placing
her with her mother at this time would be not be in the best interest
of this child," Nick stated.

"What's your recommendation, councilor?" asked Judge Damsen.

"I have conferred with my client, Your Honor, and given the
opportunity to attend the Heinz Center for Young Girls or the chance
to return to her mother's care, Katie has chosen the Heinz Center."

Ms. Adams stood and pleaded. "Please, I love Katie, I want a chance to
be her mother. Please!"

Judge Damsen banged her gavel. "Ms. Adams, sit down. Control your
client. Mr. Weldon," she urged.

"Ms. Adams, your daughter has been through a great deal in her eight
short years, and at this time I am not convinced that returning Katie
to your care is in the best interest of this child. Katie Adams will
be remanded the Heinz Center for Young Girls and Ms. Adams will be
allowed supervised visitation once a week. We will revisit this
placement 90 days hence. In the meantime Ms. Adams, get to know your
daughter. Nicholas S. Fallin will remain as Katie's guardian
ad-litem."

Judge Damsen addressed Katie directly, "Please accept the courts
condolences on the loss of your Grandmother."

Judge Damsen banged her gavel once again and called the next case.

Judge Damsen's Courtroom, 9:25am

"Nicholas Fallin, Legal Services of Pittsburgh, and Laurie Solt, of
Social Services representing Anthony Keates," Nick recited.

"And why are we here today Mr. Fallin?

"This is an emergency shelter hearing for Anthony Keates, Your Honor.
His parents were killed in a car accident yesterday, and we haven't
been able to locate any other family members, "Nick said as he
gestured toward his 10-year-old client.

"Anthony, do you have any grandparents, aunts or uncles that you know
of?" Judge Damsen inquired.

Anthony didn't move. He sat in his chair with his head hung low.
Nick and the judge exchanged a look as Laurie gently tried to elicit a
response from Anthony.

"We haven't had any luck communicating with Anthony, Your Honor. We
believe he is still in shock. Our recommendation is to place him at
Thompson House at least until we can locate a suitable family member
or foster family. Thompson House is prepared to offer him grief
counseling and therapy until he can be placed."

"Anthony Keates will be temporarily remanded to Thompson House. We
will revisit this case in 30 days." Judge Damsen banged her gavel.

Nick put his file back in his briefcase, glanced over at his young
client and made eye contact with him, and Anthony stared back. Nick
left the courtroom and headed to Fallin & Fallin.

~ * ~

Nick arrived at Fallin & Fallin around 10:00am and headed directly to
his office. On his way, he was relieved to see his father in his
office with a client. That would give him some time to think about
what to say to him.

He walked past Gretchen and gave her a barely audible, "morning." By
the look on his face she could sense he didn't want to be disturbed.

Nick sat at his desk. He stared out the window hoping the right words
would come to him. "Maybe I should just say it and get it over quick,
like ripping off a Band-Aid," he thought. Talking to his father on a
normal basis was hard enough, but this would take the cake.

Nick left his office and went into one of the many file libraries in
the firm. He went over to a large file drawer marked, 'G-F.' Pulling
out the drawer, he walked his fingers across each file hoping to
locate his mother's name. As he expected, the area in the file where
the Fallin name would have existed, was empty. He figured that was a
long shot and that if his mother's files were somewhere at the firm,
they would be in Burton's office. He decided to wait to talk to his
father until after he had a chance to locate her records.

At 1:15 pm, Nick checked his father's office and found it empty. He
spoke briefly with Gretchen trying to gage what time his father left
and what his appointments looked like for the day. Without arousing
suspicion, Nick indicated that he had to retrieve a file from Burton's
office and closed the door, locking it behind him. Nick went over to
the credenza behind his father's desk where he kept his personal
information. It was locked. Turning around he opened the middle
drawer of the desk and found the key. Searching through the credenza,
he found a few family pictures, his father's insurance records, and
tax information. He was careful to put everything back the way he
found it and locked the credenza. He put the key back in his father's
desk drawer and left the office.

On the way out, Gretchen stopped him. "Did you find the file you were
looking for?" Caught a little of guard, he said, "Umm, no, it must be
in my office somewhere, I'm sure I'll find it." Nick gave her a half
grin and went back to his office.

He paced back and forth in front of his desk, trying to remember where
all of his mother's stuff was. "It's got to be at the house
somewhere." Nick grabbed his briefcase and his keys and drove to
Burton's house. He drove up the circular drive and unlocked the house
with his spare key. In the house, he searched through the desk in his
father's study only to find nothing. He made his way upstairs and
into his father's bedroom. He hadn't been in that room since his
mother died. His guilt began to get the better of him, but not before
he checked his father walk-in closet. Disappointed in not finding the
records he came downstairs just as the front door opened.

"Mister Nicholas! You startled me."

Busted. He forgot that Rosita still came to the house three days a
week.

"Oh, ah… I'm sorry Rosita, I just came by to ah…why don't you let me
help you with those bags."

Nick took the grocery bags from Rosita's arms and brought them to the
kitchen. Rosita was so happy to see Nicholas. He helped her put the
groceries away. Rosita asked about what he was doing, and how he was
feeling, why he didn't come and see her more often, and of course why
wasn't he married yet. Nick mostly nodded, smiled and gave her
one-word answers. She was hoping he would make her some babies to look
after.

She insisted that she make something for him eat and Nick happily
oblidged. He had fond memories of Rosita. He loved her cooking and
remembered that she would read to him at night when he was little. He
had more memories of her than his own mother.

Over lunch, Rosita watch the little boy she helped to raise eat every
last bite of the lasagna she had made for Burton's dinner. She loved
to watch him eat.

"You're too skinny, Nicholas," She teased, and Nick laughed and
flashed his boyish grin.

Nick was quiet and his forehead furrowed. Rosita reached out and
touched his face with the palm of her hand. "What is it Nicholas,
what's wrong?"

"Nothing, nothings wrong. Why?"

"I know you Nicholas, I know you better than you know yourself. Tell
me what it is."

"Really, it's nothing," he said looking down at the table.

Rosita cleared Nick's dishes and put them in the dishwasher.

"Rosita?"

She turned to look at him.

Nick continued, "Do you remember much about my mother?

"Of course I do, many things. Like how much she loved you and wanted
to be with you."

"Did she go away a lot, you know, like on a long vacation?" He asked.

"She would travel with you father sometimes and would take you to
Martha's Vineyard in the summer for a couple of weeks."

"How about when I was really little? Like when I was two or so? Do
you remember if she ever went to stay with my Aunt Liz in Mt. Aire?
Does that ring a bell?"

Rosita sat down next to Nick at the kitchen table.

"Come to think of it Nicholas, she did go away for a little while.
She took you and went with Liz to take care of her mother. That was
back in 1971 or '72, the poor dear. I missed you so much when you
were gone. That trip took a lot out of your mother. She was never
quite the same after that."

"Oh, how so?"

"She was tired all the time, I begged her to go to the doctor, but she
wouldn't listen to me or to Mr. Fallin. She seemed depressed and
lonely. Your father was working hard, long hours. Your father was up
and out of the house before Mrs. Fallin got up and he wouldn't return
until long after you were both in bed. After a while, your mother,
she seemed to get a little better, but she was never the same. If you
ask me Nick," she said in almost a whisper, "I think that's when she
got the cancer, God bless her soul." Rosita formed the sign of the
cross with her right hand then placed her hand on Nick's.

"I'm so sorry your mother is gone, she would be so proud to see you as
a man, so handsome and kind."

Nick rose from the chair and kissed Rosita on the cheek, thanked her
and gave her a quick hug. She stood at the entrance to the door and
watched as Nick got into his car. He turned back and waved before
driving off.

~ * ~

Back at Fallin & Fallin, Nick went to his father's office and entered
without knocking.

"Oh, Nicholas, I was looking for you, where have you been?"

"I had and errand," He replied. "Did you want to see me about
something?

"Ah yeah, have you finished the closing statements for PittPress?
They're coming in on Friday to sign the papers."

"Yeah, it's on my desk, I'll bring it in to you later. Do you have
plans for tonight? I was thinking we could get some dinner."

"Dinner? Yeah, sure, where did you have in mind?" His father said
with a smile.

"Anywhere, you pick. How's seven?" Nick asked.

"Seven is good. How does Vito's in the old neighborhood sound?"

"Okay, good I'll pick you up." And with that Nick left closing the
door behind him.

He headed to court for his custody hearing and then back to LSP to
finish the day.

~ * ~

The food at Vito's was great, the place hadn't changed since Nick saw
it last.
Before dinner Burton mostly talked about work, upcoming mergers, some
general buzz about some of the lawyers at Kirk & Magee. Nick didn't
say much. He was tying to figure out a way to bring up the subject of
his mother and Joanne.

Dinner arrived and for the most part they ate in silence. After their
meals the waitress brought over coffee and cleared their dishes.
Burton noticed that Nick didn't eat very much.

"Not hungry son?"

"Ah no, not really," he replied quietly.

Burton looked around at the décor.

"This was one of your mother's favorite places." Burton recalled.

Bingo.

"Oh really, I didn't know that. I guess there are a lot of things I
didn't know about her," he said.

"Well that's not your fault son, she wasn't with us very long," his
father remarked kindly.

"You know Dad, I…ah, I met that woman I was telling you about last
night, you know the one from New York, her name is Joanne." Nick
watched his father's face for some sign of recognition.

"Oh, yeah, how'd that go? Is she a niece of mine? Or a cousin twice
removed, some nonsense like that?" His father chuckled.

"No, no, nothing like that." Nick laced his fingers together on the
table in front of him and leaned in a little. "She had some
information she wanted me to see and I umm, I think, I think you
should read it too… it's, it's important," Nick stammered.

"Well what's her story son, is she related or not, what did she want?"
he questioned.

"Yeah, I believe she is, but Dad, you don't understand, she's ah…
she's sick and she didn't really know she was related until a few
weeks ago. Her last name is Giovanni." Nick searched his father's
face for some recollection of the name, but there was nothing.

"Nick, I'm confused, were not related to any Giovannis that I'm aware
of."

"I know Dad. The thing is, she was adopted thirty-one years ago and
now that she's sick, she been trying to track down her family and
that's what led her to me."

His father agitatedly responded, "To you? What the hell does this
have to do with you?"

Nick took a deep breath, ripping off that Band-Aid in his head.

"She has been lead to believe, and given the documentation, I believe,
that…that, I am…her brother." There I said it, he thought.

His father's eyes narrowed and he was silent for a moment.

"Nicholas, what the hell are you talking about? Your mother and I
don't have any other children. The doctors to us she couldn't have
anymore. This doesn't make sense. If your mother had another baby I
would have known about it," his father said sarcastically.

"Would you," Nick jabbed, wishing he hadn't said that. "You were so
busy building your firm, did you even notice Mom or me?"

"Of course I did Nicholas, don't be ridiculous. What does this girl
want? Money? You said she's sick, how do you know for sure?

"I guess I don't, but I saw a picture of Mom and other papers…adoption
papers. My name is there as a sibling. Come on Dad think back.
Where did Mom go in the summer of 1972?"

"Jesus Christ Nicholas! That was a long time ago… I don't remember,"
he said trying not to raise his voice.

"I talked to Rosita this afternoon, she remembers Mom going to Mt.
Aire to take care of her mother for about three months. Do you
remember that?" Nick questioned.

His father leaned back in the booth. You could almost see his mind
turning. He folded his arms in front of him. "I do remember that, it
was a difficult time for your mother and me. She called everyday so I
could talk to you. I remember that she was very different when she
came back, very distant. I tried to get her to see someone, but she
wouldn't listen, he recalled quietly.

"I want to see this proof you have Nicholas. I want it authenticated,
DNA the works, got it?"

"Dad, she doesn't know who her father is. The adoption papers are
blank in that respect."

"What are you saying?" Burton asked.

"I don't know Dad. You're the one who told me that Mom wasn't
faithful."

"Christ! This is a mess. Where is this girl? I want to talk to her."

"She's back in New York. I was going to call her, but I wanted to
talk to you first," Nick said slightly embarrassed and ashamed. With
his head down, he continued, "Ah…Dad, I ah…I didn't react very well
when she gave me the news, so I'm not really sure she'll even talk to
me."

"What do you mean? What did you do Nick?" his father inquired.

"Nothing…I'm afraid that's the problem, I didn't do anything. I just
sat there, I couldn't even think straight. She left an envelope with
me and went to the airport. I haven't spoken to her since. She
ah…she's not or hasn't asked for anything other than the truth. She
wants a copy of mom's stuff…her medical records."

"Why, what for?"

"I told you Dad, she's sick, she has what mom had…ovarian cancer,"
Nick replied in quiet voice.

"Oh, sorry, I just ah…I'm a little distracted.

Nick and Burton sat in silence for a few moments. Nick attempted to
pay for dinner but as usual Burton interceded.

In the car, Nick handed his father the envelope with all of its
contents, and Burton looked through it on way home. The ride to
Burton's was deafeningly silent. He looked at the picture of his wife
holding the infant. Nick glanced over at his dad, trying to gage his
reaction to the photo, but Burton was solemn, squeezing his thumb and
middle finger to the bridge of his nose, no doubt holding back tears.
Nick knew there was nothing he could say to comfort his father.

Nick parked in the circle drive of Burton's home and walked him
inside. Burton went directly to the bar in the den, poured himself a
scotch, and put the contents of the envelope on the coffee table. Nick
followed slowly behind and sat in the chair next to the sofa.

Burton looked closely at the hospital bracelet bearing Anne's name.

"This is your mother's social security number," he said.

Nick nodded in response.

"Dad, do you still have that box of mom's records?"

"Yeah, somewhere, I believe it's in the attic."

"OK, do you mind if I go and look for it? I mean…at the very least, I
ah…I think we owe her that."

This time is was Burton's turn to nod his "yes" response.

Nick took off his suit coat and tie and lowered the hideaway stairs to
the attic. He flipped on the light switch and looked around. He
could not believe that his dad still had all of this stuff. He saw
his blue Schwinn Spider bike suspended from the ceiling and even his
crib wrapped neatly in plastic. Next to the crib he found a large
filing cabinet. The first two drawers were filled with his father old
tax papers and old client files prior to the firm. In the bottom
drawer he found his mothers files in a box with some old pictures of
his mother and father. They appeared to be honeymoon pictures. Nick
looked through them slowly and smiled at how young and happy they
looked. He decided to bring them downstairs too. Maybe his father
would want to remember a happier time. Maybe he would just take them
home himself.

Burton was still in the den reading through the papers.

"Did you find them?"

"Yeah, I found these too. I thought that…that, you know, you might
want to look at them. Or I could have them if you don't want them,"
he said shyly.

Burton took the pictures and smiled at the memories they conjured up.
He handed them back to Nick.

"Here son, why don't you keep them, your mother would have wanted you
to have them. "

There was a long pause.

"What do you want me to do Dad?

"Well, I think you should call her…call her right away and get her the
medical records -that's the most important thing right now. And then…
then we figure out the rest later…I guess, find out what she wants or
needs from us, or if she even wants anything from us…I guess. I
ah…don't really know what else to do," his father said sadly.

Nick fished Joanne's business card out of his suit coat and walked
over to the phone. On the back of the card she had written her home
number. He dialed it and waited.

"Hello," Joanne answered sleepily.

"Hi ah…Joanne, it's…it's Nick, Nick Fallin, I'm sorry for calling so
late. Did I wake you?"

There was a long pause.

"Umm, I…no, ah, I mean yes, but… it's OK. I'm… I'm glad you called."

"I just wanted you to know that I found my, ah…our mother's medical
records. How would you prefer I get them to you?" Nick asked.

"Well umm, thank you. You could fax them to me at my office if that
works for you. The number on my business card is my personal fax so
you don't need to worry about confidentiality," she said softly.

"Okay, I'll fax them in the morning." Nick paused, then cleared his
throat, "So ah…how are you feeling?

"I'm good, you know, for the most the part. I'm ah… I'm just tired
all the time.
I have an appointment with an oncologist tomorrow. I'm sure the
information you're providing will be a great help. I really… I can't
thank you enough."

"No, please it's…it's no problem. It's the least we could do," he
said.

"We?" she asked.

"Ah…yeah, I'm at my father's house and I told him about you."

There was a long and uncomfortable silence.

Joanne didn't know what to say. She didn't know if Nick's father was
her father too. She could only assume he was, based on the letter her
mother had written.

Nick broke the silence. "I'm sorry, I ah…I don't know what to do here
or what to say, but whatever it is you need, let me know. We'll do
whatever we can…"

Joanne began to tear up. She wanted to tell him how happy she was that
he called and how much she wanted a big brother her whole life, but
she could barely catch her breath. She was worried about what Nick's
father thought about all of this. Was he her father too? She
couldn't image what he might be thinking, this was all so crazy. But
she was so overjoyed that she found Nicholas and that at least he was
willing to help her. They would have to deal with the rest later.

She managed to choke out, "Thank you… I appreciate that and please,
tell your father I said thanks…and I'm sorry about…about all of this.
I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I just want to get …get better and I
needed your mother's information," she said.

"Our mother," he whispered.

"Yeah, right, I…ah…I'm just not used to…ah," her voice trailed off.

"Anyway, listen, why don't you call me after you've spoken with the
doctor and we can talk then, maybe, you know, we should get together
again and talk some more and my dad, he wants to meet you and ah…
well, we could try to figure out if he's…who you father is, that is,
if you want?"

"Yeah, Umm I'd…ah…I'd like that. I guess we have lots to talk about,"
she said happily and shocked all at the same time.

"Okay then, so I'll wait for your call," Nick said.

"Right, I'll call you tomorrow, and thanks for calling Nick," she
said. "Bye Nicholas."

"Bye."

Nick hung up the phone and looked over at this father who stood in
front of the window with his arms folded.

"She's going to call me tomorrow Dad."

"Okay son,"

"I'm ah… gonna get going then, okay?" Nick said.

"Sure, I'll see you at the office tomorrow."

Nick picked up his coat and tie, and headed for the door. He opened
it, stopped and turned around.

"You know, Dad…she, she looks like her…she…she has Mom's eyes."

Burton looked at his son then down at the floor. He turned slowly and
started up the stairs. Nick turned back around, locked the door
behind him, climbed in the BMW and drove home.
 
--+--
 
Joanne started her day much like every other and went for a long walk.
On this morning, however, she walked with a renewed sense of purpose
and determination. "Cancer will not take me," she said as if it were
her new mantra, "I still have things I need to do here. I have a
family I love and a new family I need to know."

~ * ~

Joanne hopped into her roadster and drove to her family's restaurant,
to see her parents and pick up pastries for the office on her way to
work. She parked in a space her father had designated especially for
her, one of those special little gifts he couldn't resist giving her.

She walked into the back door and through the kitchen.

"Hey Vitto," she said to her favorite cousin, striding through the
kitchen's back door, and giving him a peck on the cheek, as she passed
through guickly.

"Bon journo Jovanna," he replied in his thickly.

Vitto was her father's Sicilian nephew, and a trained, master baker
who worked for her father in the family-owned restaurant, Primo's
Posto, (Place). He was one of the most sought-after pastry chefs in
the Big Apple.

Her father was ringing up one of their regular customers, Mr.
Cachetto, and her mother was stocking the pastry shelves for the
morning rush.

"Mornin,' Pop," she said with a smile as she pick up an empty pastry
box. "How ya doing today, Mr. Cachetto?"

"Oh, look who's here! -my daughter "the lawyer," effused her father as
he took her by the shoulders and kissed first one cheek, then the
other.

Joanne rolled her eyes. "Dad, you've got to stop calling me that.
Everyone is going to think my name is 'your-daughter-the-lawyer," she
joked while pouring herself a hot cappuccino.

Her mother smiled at her daughter's wit. She loved the way she
handled herself.

"Hi, Sweetheart," her mother said, giving her a big and kiss and
taking the pastry box from her hands. "Looking for the usual
assortment this morning?"

"Hey, Ma, can I talk to you for a second?" she asked quietly, trying
not to alert her father."

"Sure let's go in the kitchen."

Joanne followed her mother into the kitchen. She wondered how many
conversations they had in this very room. She leaned against a long
stainless steal prep table while her mother removed freshly baked
items from the ovens.

"So, ah…you know, I went to Pittsburgh and I met with Nicholas,
right?" She paused, trying to gauge her mother's reaction, but her
mother just continued with her work.
"It didn't really go over very well, at least that's what I thought,
but last night he called me…and we talked a little bit more and he's
going to be faxing Anne's medical records today."

"Well, that's good, honey, right?" Her mother questioned, as she
continued with her work.

"Yeah, it's great, it could be a big help," she reassured her. "Mom,
I just wanted to let you know that I'm seeing Dr. Allen today and
that…I might be going back to Pittsburgh for another visit…soon."

"Do you want me to go with you?" her mother asked.

"To Pittsburgh?" she said, trying to get a laugh out of her mother.

Her mother turned to look at her and found Joanne smiling. "Very
funny," her mother chuckled, "I mean to the doctor?"

"No, Ma, thanks anyway, I'd rather go alone, OK?" Joanne said as more
of a statement than a question.

"You got what you needed from Nicholas, why do you have to go back so
soon?"

Joanne could hear the concern in her mother's voice. She moved to
stand next to her mother. "Ma, please…look at me," she whispered.

"I need to go back…you know I do. I have a brother I want to know,
and I think he wants to know me…this isn't about leaving you and dad.
I just…I have questions that need to be answered. I still have a
father I need to find. They want to help me in whatever way they can.
Can you understand that?"

Tearfully, the elderly woman drew her closer, holding her daughter's
face in her palms.

"You have a father here who loves you. It will break his heart if you
go in search of a new one?" she said softly.

"I'm I not looking for a new one, Mom. I love you both. You'll always
be my parents, that will never change, but…Ma, I'm sick…and I want a
chance to know them before it's too…while there is still time.
Listen, I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do right now, or how
I'm supposed to feel about all this…I…" Joanne's voice trailed off.

"Your father and I always planned on telling you about the adoption,
but the timing never seemed right and after a while…we just forgot you
weren't ours…I still remember the moment we took you home…you were
ours."

"Mom, please, I'm still yours…just tell me you understand…please," she
pleaded.

Rose kissed her daughter, tucked a loose strand of Joanne's hair
behind her ear, and went back to serving their customers.

Joanne whispered a last wish, "You're gonna talk to Dad for me right?"

Her mother gave her a weak smile and a wink. From this, Joanne knew
her mother understood.

~ ~ ~

When Joanne arrived at her office, she went directly to her fax
machine. As Nick promised, the medical records were waiting for her.
"If nothing else, he's prompt," she thought. She decided not to read
through them, instead, she faxed them directly to Dr. Allen's office
and put them in her briefcase.

She spent the better part of her morning and early afternoon tying up
loose ends. Joanne had several clients under her control and was one
of the top three earners at Doyle and Shyberg. It just wasn't in her
to hand off her clients to first or second year associates.

Unfortunately, she would have no other choice but to hand off her
clients to other partners at the firm at least temporarily, while she
underwent her treatments. This transition would not be easy and she
anticipated loosing some of her more prickly clients to other firms,
but there was nothing she could do about that. She would begin a
leave of absence on Monday.

She left the office early for her appointment with Dr. Michael Allen,
an oncologist recommended to her by the gynecologist who originally
diagnosed her problem.

In the lobby of the medical center, she noticed that the practice
consisted of twelve other physicians, leaving her a little
uncomfortable. She preferred smaller offices with a more personal,
hands-on approach.

At the reception desk, she was handed a stack of forms resembling the
thickness of War and Peace. A nurse took her to an exam room, where
she endured two hours of tests and she still hadn't seen the doctor
yet. She was loosing her patience. "Ten more minutes and I'm outta
here," she resolved.

A moment later, Dr. Allen made his appearance. He was a man of medium
height and slightly on the heavy side. He wore stylish wire-framed
glasses and an expensive suit. She guessed he was in his mid to late
fifties. When he entered the room he didn't even look at her, his
head was down, reading through her file.

"Ok, Ms…ah-Gio-Giovanni is it?" he said in a mundane tone.

"Yes, Joanne Giovanni, It's nice to meet you," she said, with an
outstretched hand, trying to make eye contact.

"Oh, Yeah, I'm Dr. Allen," he said, shaking her hand lamely.

"I've been looking over your mother's records. It appears that she
began suffering from the disease long before she received treatment
for it. However, I don't believe her prognosis would have been any
better had she'd known. Truth be told, we know a lot more now than we
did then about ovarian cancer and we have more aggressive therapies
now," he said matter-of- factly. "You should consider yourself lucky,
we've caught the cancer early, you're still in Phase I. So, we'll
start with surgery and follow up with chemotherapy every three to four
weeks for the next 6-12 months. You're young, your body should
respond, but you never know. If the cancer has spread to the lymph
nodes we'll do a complete hysterectomy and…."

Joanne stopped listening as she sat on the examining table
self-consciously wearing only a johnny. She couldn't believe this
guy. She had heard of bad bedside manner before but this was
ridiculous. She could believe what she was hearing. She wanted to
scream at the top of her lungs. "Look at me! Talk to me as if I'm
here. I'm only thirty-one years-old, I'm not dead yet!" She the
feeling that she was a number, like every other patient. A patient
they had given up on.

She had so many questions, but couldn't bring herself to ask them.
Her father's words were ringing in head, "never trust anyone who can't
look you in the eye," he would say. "Those are words to live by," she
thought.

"…So, unless you have any questions, you can get dressed and see the
nurse at the front desk to schedule your surgery. OK, then Ms.
Giovanni, see you in few weeks," and with that, he was out the door.
He spent less than five minutes with her and he had already planned
out the next year of her life.

"In a few weeks, my ass," she said to herself. " I'm never coming back
here again!"

She started to feel nauseous and her hands were shaking. She dressed
as quickly as she could and headed for the door. As she passed the
front desk on her way out, the nurse called out to Joanne. Ignoring
her, she walked straight out the door.
~ * ~

Joanne sped home. Inside the house she dropped her briefcase and
laptop in the entry hall. She grabbed a bottle of wine and a glass
from the kitchen and went upstairs. On her way to her room she
started the water for a bath, and left the water running while she
went to her room. She poured herself a glass of wine, turned on the
stereo and headed back to the bathroom.

She slipped into the steaming bath, closed her eyes and drank her
wine. "Relax and collect your thoughts," she whispered. Her hands
were still trembling from her experience at Dr. Allen's office. In
the morning she would have to search out a new oncologist, but tonight
she just wanted to crawl into bed, be alone and try to sort things
out.

After a long soak, she threw on her pajamas, retrieved her briefcase
and laptop from the entry hall and climbed into bed. She poured
another glass of wine and spread out her mother's medical records over
the comforter. Glancing at the clock radio, she noticed that it was
only ten past six, but she didn't care. She wasn't hungry or in the
mood for a Friday night out with friends. She thought briefly about
calling Nick, but she didn't really have anything to tell him and
decided to put it off.

She spent the next hour reading every detail of her mother's illness
and finishing the bottle of wine. She hooked up her laptop and began
researching new methods for aggressive treatments and the top
physicians in this particular field.

She found herself focusing on side effects like depression, nausea and
hair loss. She looked up into the mirror on the bureau trying to
imagine what she would look like without hair. "Well that won't be
pretty," she said sarcastically, trying to lighten her mood, but it
didn't work. She went back downstairs and got another bottle of wine
and returned to her room.

While surfing the web, she discovered an article by a Dr. John Carter
from Chicago. He would be taking a sabbatical to work on a clinical
trial involving some new drugs for the treatment of ovarian cancer.
The trials would begin in a few weeks and take place at a
Philadelphia-based hospital. As she read through the article, she
found out that she fit the basic criteria for the trial. To be
considered, she would need to contact Dr. Carter and submit her
medical records. She wrote down the phone number and address and got
offline.

Her eyes were beginning to blur, she was tired and the wine was taking
its desired effect. She had had enough for one day. She cleared off
the bed and pulled the covers over her head and went to sleep.

~ * ~

Nick spent his day working with his father on the PittPress merger.
They finalized the paperwork in the morning and met Frank Morgan, the
President and CEO of PittPress for lunch at Del Fortino's.

Burton was unusually quite during lunch, which made it even more
uncomfortable for Nick who generally left chitchat to his father.
Nick did his best to keep the conversation going, knowing how
preoccupied his father was with the news he had given him last night.

After lunch Nick went over to LSP to work on a few files, but mostly
to get away from the firm and his father. Nick new his father was
truly suffering, he must have felt very betrayed by Anne once again.
It was one thing that she had affairs while they were married, but it
was quite another to bring a child into this world and give it away
without telling him, especially if it were his. Nick, too, felt angry
and betrayed by his mother; after all she had deprived as well. He
didn't entertain that thought for very long. He loved his mother and
was very uncomfortable about being angry with her.

Nick walked to the LSP bullpen to get coffee and spotted Lulu in her
office. He took his coffee with him and knocked on the open door.

"Do you have a second?" Nick asked.

Lulu looked up from the massive stacks of files on her desk.

"Ah, no, but don't let that stop you," she said with a smile, "Have a
seat. So, how are things going? Did you talk to your dad?

"Yeah. I did, last night. I'm sorry I didn't call you but it was
late when I left his house, and I was just drained."

"Oh, that's okay. How did he take it?" Lulu asked.

"Ah, you know, as best as could be expected, I guess. I think were
both still in a bit of shock. He didn't believe me at first, but
after reading through the papers, he seems to be coming around…he
wants to meet her and talk to her…so…"

"He must be so confused and devastated! I really can't imagine what
that must be like for your father…or you," she added kindly. "Is there
anything I can do?" she asked.

"No, I don't think so, but thanks…thanks for the other night. I'm
glad I wasn't alone, I'm mean, I'm glad I was with you." Nick said
shyly and starring at the floor.

"Have you spoken with Joanne again?" She asked gently.

"Yeah, I called her from my dad's house last night and I'm expecting a
call from her sometime tonight. I faxed over my mother's medical
records this morning. She's seeing an oncologist today…she's
ah…supposed to let us know what the plan is."

"Oh," she answered softly, and then changing to a happier tone. "Hey
Nick, why don't we do something tonight? We could go to a movie or
something, just…take your mind off things for a while."

"I don't know Lulu, I don't really feel like going out tonight," he
said."

Lulu's smiled faded in disappointment. She knew he was hurting and
she wanted to help him, but this was a difficult situation.

Nick saw the disappointment on her face.

"Maybe we could just…stay in and watch TV…at my place."

Lulu's eyes brightened up and her smile returned. "Great, I'll bring
some takeout, what are you in the mood for?"

"Anything. You pick, OK?" he responded.

"OK," she said, "See you around seven?"

"Yeah, seven is good." He gave her a quick wink, and a closed mouth
smile and went back to his office.

~ * ~

It was 6:00pm when Nick stopped by Fallin & Fallin on his way home
from LSP. He wanted to check in with Burton before the end of the
day.

On his way through the lobby, he ran into Jake.

"Hey Nick, how's it going?" Jake asked in his usual jovial way.

"Ah, good, what's up with you?"

"Well, I was trying to help your father with some stuff, but he seemed
a little out of it. Is he okay?"

"As far as I know he's fine. I just think he's got a lot on his mind
right now."

"Well, let me know if there's something I can do, I don't have a lot
on my plate right now."

"Sure, thanks," Nick said and continued on his way to Burton's office.

He knocked on his father's door, but didn't wait for him to answer
before entering. He found his father standing in front of the window
with his back to the door and his arms folded in front of him. His
father always did his best thinking in front of that window and Nick
was uncertain as to whether or not he should interrupt him.

Nick cleared his throat to get his father's attention, and Burton
turned around.

"Oh, Nicholas, I didn't her you come in."

"Well, I knocked, but ah… need anything," Nick muttered.

"No son, I'm fine," he said as he walked to his desk.

"Really, because you seem a little…distracted."

"Well, aren't you?" Burton said sharply.

"Of course I am, but I don't let it affect my clients," Nick snapped
back.

Burton eyes flashed angrily over the top of his glasses. Nick lowered
his gaze to the floor.

"What I mean is, we don't have any control over this other situation,
but we can control what happens here and our clients deserve our full
attention. So if you think you need some time off, Jake and I can
cover things here," Nick offered.

Burton did not answer him. He seated himself and dismissively retuned
to his file. Nick assumed by his father's disengagement that he was
dismissed, but he had one final thought before he walked out.

"You know Dad, I can't pretend I know exactly how you feel, but this
isn't easy for me either."

~ * ~

Nick and Lulu were in his living room sitting on the floor between the
sofa and the coffee table. They were enjoying the Thai food Lulu
picked up and listening to the news. They talked a little bit about
their LSP cases and Nick mentioned that he was concerned about Anthony
Keats. He had heard from Laurie Solt that Anthony was still not
communicating with anyone, which would make it more difficult to get
him placed in a foster home. He planned on making time to see him
Monday, hoping to convince Anthony to let his wishes be known. Lulu
discussed how buried she was between her cases and preparing the
year-end closing. She and Alvin would have to present their findings
in front of the board in order to retain an adequate amount of funding
to keep the clinic running effectively. Nick offered some new ideas
on how the clinic might run more efficiently and volunteered to help
her look over the books and help with their presentation. Lulu
happily accepted.

After dinner, they clean up the dishes and they both relaxed on the
sofa. Nick sunk into the corner of the sofa, his left arm lay on the
armrest and his right arm wrapped around Lulu. Lulu lay next to him,
resting the left side of her body against him with her head on his
chest. They both lay quietly seemingly oblivious to the television
playing in the background.

She could hear Nick take in a deep breath.

"Are you OK," she asked.

"Yeah…It's just that it's…" Nick checked his watch, "after nine…I
thought I would have heard from her by now."

"Well, maybe she just needs some time, Nick. This must be driving her
crazy, you know. She's got to deal with her illness, and finding you,
and figuring out if Burton is her father, and then there's the family
who raised her. That's a lot for one person to deal with," Lulu said
as she shifted her position.

"Sounds like you've been thinking a lot about her," Nick said, as he
looked down at Lulu who was now resting comfortably on her back,
across his lap, resting her head on the armrest.

"Well, yeah, I think it's sad that you may not have ever known about
each other if she hadn't gotten sick, and now, there's no guarantee
how long you'll be together."

Lulu could almost see the wheels in his head turning.

"Yeah," Nick whispered, "I guess that's all up to her now."

Nick couldn't help but think about his mother. On the good days they
would watch movies and play cards and eat sundaes in bed. But mostly
he watched her sleep, standing over her, guarding her, praying for
her.

"I'm gonna all her" Nick said.

"You should do what your heart tell you to do, Nick?" Lulu said,
placing a hand in the center of his chest.

Nick looked down at her, and leaning over, he kissed her on the lips
as he reached out for the phone. Lulu smiled.

~ * ~

Joanne's sleep was interrupted by the sudden urge to relieve herself.
A consequence of the bottle and half of wine she consumed.
Begrudgingly she had no other choice but to get out of bed and go.

She noticed it was just a little after nine and feeling hungry, she
decided to get a snack from the fridge. She had found some of her
father's famous gnocchi (potato pasta) and red sauce; she heated it up
in the microwave and returned to her room. She turned on the
television, propped up the pillows, and pick up a magazine from the
nightstand to read while she ate.

Just as she got comfortable, the phone rang. "That's probably my
mother," she thought and reached for the phone.

"Hi, Ma," she said, anticipating her mother's voice.

"Uh, no…this is Nick, Nick Fallin," he replied.

There was a short silence. Joanne dropped her fork into the bowl of
pasta and muted the volume on the TV.

"Oh, hi…I'm sorry, I thought you were ah…well, I thought you were
someone else," she stumbled.

"That's okay, I was just calling to find out how things went with the
doctor today," Nick said.

"Oh, right. I was going to call you, but I ah…never mind. The
appointment went…well, I had hoped it would have gone better, but I
suppose it could have been worse," she said.

"I don't understand, what are you saying?" he asked.

"Well, the good news is that I'm only in the first stage of the
disease."

"That's good Joanne, that's really good," he said encouragingly.

"Yeah, it is, and I was reading on the Internet that 90 percent of
women who are diagnosed with Stage I ovarian cancer that is limited to
only the ovary, will still be alive five years after treatment," she
said almost cheerfully.

Nick winced. 'Only five years' he thought to himself. He assumed the
statistics were better than that. Realizing that he hadn't responded
to her, he quickly recovered.

"So, what's next?" he said.

"Umm, I'll have surgery first to remove as much of the cancer as
possible, followed up by chemo every four weeks for the next six to
twelve months, and after that they perform something called ah…a
'second-look laparotomy' to determine if any cancer is gone."

Nick listened intently, thinking that she sounded very matter-of-fact,
but thought he detected a slight slur.

"Joanne, are you ah…OK?" Nick questioned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?"

"Well you sound a little…funny."

"I'm just not having a great day is all…and I've had a few…drinks,"
she shamefully admitted. "It's just…" Joanne's voice trailed off.

"It's just what?"

"I didn't exactly like the oncologist, and I know that's not the most
important thing if…if he's the best at what he does, but, I don't
know, I got a bad feeling and I ah…I walked out."

Nick wished they were having this conversation in person. He wanted
to be able to see her face and read her body language. He didn't know
her and he was having difficulty reading between the lines.

"What do mean, you walked out? What are you going to do now?" Nick
didn't wait for an answer. "You need to get treatment as soon as
possible, you can't just wait." Nick hated that he sounded like his
father.

"I'm not waiting!" She shouted angrily. "I'm just trying to find the
best doctor for me and it certainly wasn't that condescending ass I
met with today!"

Nick wasn't sure if she was talking about the doctor or him, but he
was sorry he upset her, that wasn't his intention. He could hear her
breaking down quietly, even though he sensed she was trying to hide it
from him.

"I need to be involved in the decisions about my treatments. That's
the only thing I have control over right now and I need that. I need
to feel some sense of control, even if it's minimal," she said
tearfully.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to tell you what to do…I just want to
help, really."

Tearfully she whispered. "I wasn't talking about you."

There was an uncomfortable pause, neither of them knowing what to say,
until Joanne finally broke the silence.

"Listen, Nick," she said in a calmer tone, "I was doing some research
on the web about doctors and treatments, and there is clinical trial
going on at a Philadelphia hospital, by Dr. John Carter. They're
studying some new, more aggressive medications for ovarian cancer and
so far, I fit the profile. I'm going to send him my medical records
and see if I can be included."

"In Philadelphia?" he said. "I may be able to help you with that. I
know the president of Pittsburgh County Hospital. I'm sure he'd have
some connections, if you'd like me to reach out?"

"Yeah, that would be great, whatever you can do," she said positively.

"Okay," Nick said, I'll call him tomorrow. How soon can you get me
your medical information?"

"I'll overnight it to you tomorrow," she said.

"Great."

"Hey Nick, I'm sorry…I didn't mean to yell at you before. I'm just
exhausted and a little overwhelmed right now," she said nervously,
with a lame chuckle, "And I don't like the feeling of being out of
control, ya know."

'That's one thing we have in common,' he thought to himself. "Yeah, I
know."

Joanne and Nick talked a little while longer. He promised her they
would talk again after Nick had heard from Sutoni at Pittsburgh
County. They made plans for her to make another trip to Pittsburgh to
meet Burton and they would take her Philadelphia if necessary. She
suggested that she would have blood drawn for a DNA test and Nick
assured her that Burton would want to do the same. He was glad that
the DNA thing wouldn't be hanging over their heads when she came to
meet Burton.

Nick was relieved that at last their conversation ended pleasantly.
After hanging up the phone, he returned his attention to Lulu, who had
been listening to the conversation with an approving smile. He took
her by the hand and led her upstairs to his room.

~ * ~

Joanne hung up the phone feeling thankful that she felt better than
she did before his call.
 
--+--
 
Nick phoned his father first thing Saturday morning. Burton insisted
that Nick come over for a talk while he made breakfast. Burton had
some new information regarding Joanne that he wanted to share with
him. Nick accepted his invitation, given his lack of cooking ability
and his perpetually empty refrigerator. However, he told his father
to set the table for three. Lulu would be joining them. Although his
father was uncomfortable taking about family business in front
strangers he assumed Nick had already told her about Joanne so Burton
gladly extended the invitation.

During breakfast, they discussed the conversation Nick and Joanne had
on Friday night. Burton was relieved that Joanne was willing to go
through DNA testing and that she would be coming to Pittsburgh early
next week. Although Burton was apprehensive, he was looking forward
to meeting her.

"Louisa, would you mind excusing Nick and I for a moment?" Burton
asked politely.

"Ah, sure." Lulu ran her hand along Nick's arm, up to his shoulder as
she made her way to the kitchen. "Why don't I just take care of these
dishes and you guys can talk."

"Nicholas, I talked to Liz last night. I took her to dinner. I
wanted to tell her about Joanne." Burton paused and tapped his
cigarette in the ashtray, "But it seems she already knew."

"What?" Nick's eyes narrowed. He was stunned by this revelation.
"What do you mean she already knew?"

Burton sighed, "Liz told me that Anne was definitely pregnant and gave
birth in Mt. Aire in 1972."

Nick's chair slid back on the dining room floor, as he abruptly got up
from the table. He crossed his arms in front of him and paced back
and forth behind his father's chair. "Why didn't she tell us after
Mom died?"

"She didn't want to betray your mother. She was afraid she would just
make things worse." Burton tried to defend hi sister-in-law, even
though he was terribly hurt by the news.
"Worse than this? Worse than not knowing at all?"

"Liz assumed the baby wasn't mine."

"Why?" Nick demanded

"Because…Anne made her promise not to tell."

Nick couldn't believe that Liz knew all along. Nick was truly hurt
and disappointed that Liz would keep something as important as this
from him.

"Nicholas, listen to me." Burton tried to bring him out of his fog.
"Are you listening to me?" Nick turned to face his father. "It
doesn't matter…if she's not…not mine, OK. She's still your sister and
I'll do whatever I can for her, financially or otherwise."

"Look Nick, with Joanne's…condition; I'd rather she didn't stay in a
hotel. Now she's welcome to stay here with me, but she may be more
comfortable staying with you."

"Yeah, she can stay with me. But we should have a back up plan, just
in case she doesn't want to stay with me either. Sister or not we're
still basically strangers to each other."

After breakfast, Nick and Lulu said their goodbyes. Burton kissed
Lulu on the cheek and shook Nick's hand, giving him the slightest
grin. Nick returned his father's smile with a 'don't read to much
into this' look. It made Burton feel good to see his son happy for a
change. Burton was comforted to know that Nick had someone he could
talk to.

~ * ~

At Nick's place, he and Lulu spent most of their time searching for
information on ovarian cancer over the web. He wanted to be prepared
in a way he hadn't been when his mother was sick. In the afternoon,
Nick spoke with Edgar Sutoni about the trial at Philadelphia Memorial
Hospital, and Dr. Carter. Edgar informed Nick that Pittsburgh County
was participating in that trial and he agreed to review her case and
talk with Dr. Carter as soon as possible. Together they would do
their best to help her.

~ * ~

Joanne's medical records arrived late Saturday afternoon and Nick
faxed them to Edgar's office.

On Sunday, Nick picked up some groceries and stored clean sheets and
towels in the guestroom in preparation for Joanne's arrival. From a
box in his closet he dug up an old family photo album. He considered
leaving it in the guestroom for Joanne, but decided to put it back.
"I'll just wait for her to ask first," he thought.

He went to the office to get a jumpstart on the week ahead of him. He
wanted to get as much work out of the way as possible, so he could
spend time with Joanne while she was in town. When he arrived at the
office he found his father doing the same thing.

"Hey, Dad."

"I didn't think you'd be here today, son."

"I've got a few things to do."

"Oh, I took your advice and booked a room at the Radisson for Joanne,
just in case, and we've got a seven o' clock reservation at The
Hilltop for dinner on Monday. Should I make it a reservation for
four?" Burton asked, referring to Lulu.

Irritated by the insinuation, Nick said, "Ah…no Dad, I think it should
just be us. I'll be in my office," and abruptly left, as he
heavy-handedly closed the door behind him.

~ * ~

Joanne sent her medical records by express services first thing
Saturday morning.

She was a little worried about how her parents would feel about her
decision to go back to Pittsburgh, but she trusted them to be
supportive. If that meant she had to go Pittsburgh, they would
understand.

She hoped someday to be able to tie both of her families together.
"The best of both worlds," she contemplated.

In the afternoon, she decided to cut her hair considerably shorter
than its current shoulder length. She believed that cutting her hair
would make it less dramatic when it would fall out from chemotherapy.

Sunday morning she went to mass and breakfast with her parents as
usual. The topic of conversation wasn't exactly light, but since her
illness, it rarely was. And although her parents understood why she
needed to go to Pittsburgh, she could see the hurt in their eyes.

Joanne's parents were remarkable people, very understanding and
supportive. They immigrated to the United States after they were
married in Italy. Primo worked his way up from dishwasher to chef in
several restaurants until his cooking became something of a legend in
the Little Italy area of New York. Rose sold freshly baked breads and
pastries out their home for extra money. After years of struggling,
they bought a small restaurant. They worked together, night and day.
Soon their reputation preceded them and the restaurant grew. It now
included a separate bakery and lunch counter, and a fine dining
restaurant and stage where many local and national entertainers
performed. Joanne handled the entertainment contracts and most of the
business end of the restaurant for her parents, even participating
herself on occasion, singing and playing piano. The restaurant was a
wonderful environment to grow up in. Her mother and father worked
hard to establish their dream and they were living it.

~ * ~

Nick called Joanne Sunday night with good news. Pittsburgh County was
participating in the same trial and Edgar had arranged a medical
interview with Dr. Carter in Pittsburgh on Tuesday afternoon. He
informed her of the dinner arrangements Burton made for them on Monday
night, suggesting they play the rest of the week by ear.

"What time should I pick you up from the airport?" Nick asked.

"Oh, I'm not flying. I'm taking my car."

Nick was concerned. "Are you sure you want to drive?" He worried
about her driving that distance alone. She had admitted to being
tired all the time and he didn't want her to fall asleep at the wheel.

"Yeah, it's only about six hours and I'd like to have my car available
if I need it." Joanne was worried he would take this big brother thing
to seriously. She didn't like begin smothered. "I'm a big girl, I can
take car of myself, she thought."

"Well you could always use mine or my father's if that's an issue," he
said trying to persuade her to fly. He was troubled by her lack of
stamina, due to the illness.

"No, I'd rather drive. Besides, since 9/11, flying makes me a little
nervous," Joanne replied.

Nick reluctantly conceited. "OK. So, when should I expect you?"

"I should be there by twelve-thirty or one. Does that work for you?"

"Yeah, just meet me at Legal Services. I have an office there," he
replied.

Joanne was confused and her brow furrowed. "Legal…Services?"

"Ah, it's a long story," he scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"OK, I'll see you there."

They exchanged cell phone numbers and said goodbye.

Nick was looking forward to taking some private time with Joanne. He
wanted to try and explain the relationship between his mother and
father. In some ways, he felt he needed to defend his mother, but at
the same time, her actions seemed so out of character for the woman he
knew and loved. He also knew he would need to tell Joanne about his
probation, but he didn't want to get into the whole LSP thing yet. The
only thing he was certain of was that he didn't want her to hear it
from anyone else. Nick felt like Joanne had enough to deal with right
now. She didn't need to know that her brother was cokehead too. He
didn't want her to know what a screw up he had been. Joanne was a
fresh start for him. Someone who didn't know him because he was
Burton Fallin's son, or read about his antics in the papers. She was
someone who could come to know the real Nick.

He wondered how people at the firm and LSP would react when they found
out he had a sister. How would that make his family look? "Never
mind," he thought, "I don't care."

~ * ~

On Monday morning Joanne headed for Pittsburgh.

It was a beautiful sunny day. She hoped she'd get a little color with
the top down on the roadster; she had been looking a little pale these
days. The convertible was another great reason for cutting her hair.
"No muss, no fuss," she thought.

On the drive she wondered about Nick. There was so much she didn't
know. He was a complete mystery. She considered making a list of all
the questions she wanted to ask, and then decided against it for now.
Based on her previous meeting with him she thought bombarding him with
questions wouldn't be the best approach. A list of questions couldn't
make up for thirty-one years of lost history anyway.

Just outside of Pittsburgh her nerves were getting the best of her.
She could feel the butterflies fluttering in her stomach and hands
began to perspire. Burton was a stranger to her, as well as Nick.
She hoped she made the right decision to temporarily, at least, stay
in Pittsburgh.

~ * ~

She arrived at LSP a little after noon. Stepping off the elevator she
found herself surrounded by a beehive of activity. The phones were
ringing off the hook, clients were waiting in chairs, and several
lawyers were on calls or in meetings. A red-haired woman answering
the phones waved her over to what looked like a reception desk.

"Legal Services, can you hold please, thanks. Hi, can I help you?"
she asked.

"Yes please. I'm here to see Nicholas Fallin."

"He's not back from court yet, do you have an appointment?"

"Yes, I do," said Joanne, feeling a little overwhelmed and a little
claustrophobic. People were scurrying around, causing her to shift
her position several times to get out of the way. "I'll just wait
over there," she said, pointing to an area next to the elevator.

"Oh, Miss, what was your name? I'll need to pull your file for Mr.
Fallin."

Just then Lulu came around the corner from her office, calling out,
"Barbara, have you seen the file on the Phillips boy? "Oh! Excuse me,"
she said, bumping into Joanne.

"No problem," she said to Lulu and then responded to Barbara. "I
don't have a file, I'm visiting from out of town."

"Oh! You must be Joanne" Lulu said excitedly.

"Ah…Yes I am," Joanne replied, a little surprised. "I'm supposed to
meet Nick here. I guess I'm a little early."

"Right. Well why don't you come into my office. I think you'd be
more comfortable in there," Lulu said, ushering Joanne into her
office. "Please, have a seat. I'm Louisa Archer, but everyone calls
me Lulu. I'm a…friend of Nick's. Can I get you anything?"

"Actually, I'm in need of a restroom. If I could just freshen up a
bit that would be great," she smiled. "She's pretty, I wonder if Nick
and Lulu are more than friends," she thought.

"Sure, it's right over here," pointing her in the right direction.

In the ladies room, Joanne washed her face, brushed her hair. She
wasn't used to this new style and she missed the way her long locks
fell on her shoulders. Nervously, she tucked her hair behind her ears,
smoothing down the loose strands blown free from the wind. She
retouched what little make up she wore, just mascara and a little
lipstick. She considered herself a low maintenance kind of gal. She
wore shiny black Capri pants, strappy black sandals and a crisp white,
collared dress shirt. The open collar of her shirt exposed a single,
round diamond on a clear, fishing line necklace, which matched her
earrings.

Nick stepped off the elevator and checked his watch. "Barbara, I'm
expecting a…"

"She's already here, she's with Lulu."

"Oh," he said quickly snapping his head around in the direction of
Lulu's office. Nick was less than thrilled that Joanne might be
exposed to Lulu's version of the Fallins first.

As Nick approached the door, Lulu looked up from her desk.

"Hey, your sister's here," she said. "She's just freshening up."

Nick looked at Lulu with a furrowed brow. "You ah…didn't tell anyone
about her yet, did you? he queried.

Lulu slammed her pen down on the desk. "No, Nick, Do you normally
find me indiscreet?" she challenged, irritated that he would think she
would betray his confidence.

"Good," Nick said dismissively and walked out.

Nick walked toward his office when Joanne exited the restroom. She
smiled meekly at him and reach out to shake his hand. Nick took her
hand and smiled back.

"You made it." Nick smiled encouragingly. " How was the trip?"

"Piece of cake, Nick."

"So, you hungry?" he asked.

"I could eat," she laughed, appreciating his unintentional irony.

"Let's go," he said as he led her to the elevator. "Nice hair cut."

Joanne smiled shyly, "Thanks."

Lulu had been watching them from her office door when Barbara
approached her.

"Hey Lulu, who was that?"

"Umm, she's a relative of Nick's," she said and closed her office
door.

~ * ~

On the way to The Incline, they walked past her car parked on the side
street and Joanne set the alarm. With the exception of a "nice car,"
comment Nick made, their walked in silence.

They ordered lunch and after a good deal of small talk, Nick
eventually brought up the subject of Edgar and what an excellent
resource he would be.

Although Nick wanted the opportunity to talk to Joanne alone, he now
found himself tongue-tied. They took turns trying to avoid each
other's gaze and smiling weekly as they struggled to find some common
ground.

The silence drove Joanne crazy. She wasn't accustomed to having
difficulties making conversation.

"Ah, how's your firm?" she asked, trying to break the ice.

"Well, it's not just my firm. It's mine and my father's firm, and
it's fine, business is good."

"So, what made you decide to become a lawyer?" she asked quite
directly.

"I think primarily because my father is a lawyer, but also because I
like business and being in the thick of things," he replied. "And
you?"

"I was always fascinated by the law. I wanted to help my parents with
their restaurant on a business level, but most of all, to help people.
You know, romantic delusions of saving the world one person at a
time. It's sad really," she chuckled.

Nick laughed too. She reminded him a little of Lulu. "I used to work
in New York too, about five years ago. At Swann and Cranston."

"Really, I know some of the guys over there. Do you still keep in
touch with anyone over there?"

"Ah, no, not really," he answered lamely.

"I guess it really is a small world, huh?" Joanne was surprised to
learn that Nick had lived and worked in New York. She mentioned some
of the clients she handled and Nick was actually familiar with a few.
"Finally, something they could talk about," she thought. They talked
about their favorite bars and restaurants, the theater, the subway and
taxicab horror stories, and friends they lost in the terrorist
attacks.

They were both silent for a moment, reflecting no doubt on their lost
friends and how short life is. Finally, Joanne changed the subject.

"I have a confession to make. I…ah, looked up Fallin & Fallin on the
Internet the other day." she blushed with embarrassment.

"And?" Nick smirked. This, given how bright she was, didn't surprise
him; he would have been disappointed if she hadn't done her homework.

"It's a great website. Well defined, easy to navigate, it's sharp.
And…you should be proud of yourselves. One of Pittsburgh's top ten.
That's quite an accomplishment."

"But?"

"Well if I were working with the two of you, well…you'd be one of
Pittsburgh's top five." She tried not to allow conceit to spread over
her facial expression, as Nick took this in, but she couldn't hold on.


Cracking a wide smile across her face, she admitted, "I'm just
kidding."

"I see…well maybe we need you to show us how it's done!" he said,
feeling more relaxed at watching Joanne giggle.

"So, umm…your father - what's he like?"

"He's the best lawyer I know. He's tough…fair, good businessman."

"What about as a father? Was he good to Anne? Is he good to you?" she
asked, "I mean the two of you must be really close."

Nick nodded indifferently. Joanne could tell that Nick wasn't
comfortable talking about his father, which made her even more nervous
about meeting him. She wanted to ask more about Anne, but decided to
steer clear for today.

"Our relationship, well it's a little…complicated. But he's a good
man and were closer now then we used to be," Nick said shyly.

"Complicated huh? Well I guess I can understand that. This whole
situation is a little… complicated."

By the end of lunch they were becoming more acquainted with one
another, which was a relief to both of them.

"If you're interested Joanne, I have room at my place in the
guestroom, for you to stay."

"Oh, I ah…" she replied at little in shock.

"However, my father arranged a room for you at the Radisson, if you
would prefer that?"

"No, uh…I'd like that. Staying with you, I mean. If it's not too
much trouble."

"No, it's no trouble," he said, giving her a closed-mouth smile.

"So, what's next?" Joanne asked.

"Well, I thought I'd take you to my place. You could get settled
while I go see an LSP client."

"Huh. Could I come with you? Let your little sister watch you work,"
she goaded.

"Ah…No. That's not really a good idea."

"Come on Nick, what's the big deal?" she said mischievously.

Nick hemmed and hawed for a moment and the figured, "What the hell,
let's go."

On the way out she asked, "So, this LSP thing, you are planning on
telling me about it, right?" Nick smiled broadly. "Soon enough," he
said with a tilt of his head, "soon enough."

~ * ~

A counselor led them to a small playroom. Anthony was sitting
Indianstyle on the floor with a Gameboy in his hands. Nick pulled up
a chair and placed it near him. He looked up momentarily, then
refocused his attention on the game. Joanne stood near the door and
observed.

"Hi. Do you remember me…from court?" Nick asked. He didn't get a
response. He reached down and gently took the game from his hands,
attempting to get Anthony's undivided attention. "Anthony, I need you
to talk to me. Do have any relatives I can call? I know you don't
want to stay here. If you talk to me…I can help you."

Exasperated, Nick stood up. He sighed heavily looking down at Anthony
who now sat with his head in hands. Nick didn't know how to help him.

"Nicholas," Joanne whispered. "Can I try something?"

"Be my guest."

Joanne reached for a heavy book from the bookcase and dropped it hard
on the floor. Anthony did not react. Nick and Joanne exchanged
looks. She walked over to the boy and sat on the floor in front of
him. Nick watched her with curiosity.

Anthony looked up at her as she lightly tapped her finger on his knee.
Joanne began signing to him and his eyes lit up. Instantly he became
animated and furiously started signing back to her. Joanne and
Anthony made several exchanges. Nick was astounded and watched
intently. Joanne recited Anthony's signs allowed so that Nick could
understand and took notes.

"He would rather you call him Tony, and he has an uncle Frank living
in Boston, Massachusetts."

"He struggles to read lips Nick, so you'll just need to speak more
slowly. He's been deaf since birth and signing is his only means of
communication. He goes to the Roth School for the Deaf."

"OK. Can you ask him if he remembers the accident?"

"You just did," she said. "But he says he doesn't want to talk about
it. He wants to know when he can go home."

Nick walked over and squatted down next to Tony, speaking slowly while
Joanne signed for Nick.

"I'm going to call your uncle, but you're going to be here a few more
days. We'll contact your school and see if we can get you back to
your classes."

Sadly Tony lowered his gaze and returned his head to his hands. Nick
stood and walked toward the door. As he turned around, he saw Joanne
perform a series of signs and smile at the boy. She tussled Tony's
hair as she stood and followed Nick out of the room.

"What did you say to him?" Nick asked.

"I told him I would come back and visit."

Nick was curious. "Where did you learn to do that?"

"I took a few courses. I have a cousin who is deaf."

Nick nodded with a smile. "Thanks for the help."

"Sure," she said, smiling back. "So, this place we're going to
tonight, is it fancy?

"I'll put it to you this way, my father picked it and he has expensive
taste," he said with a smirk.

~*~

They left Thompson House, returning briefly to Legal Services to pick
up her car. She followed Nick to his house and he took her suitcase
to the guest room upstairs. Joanne brought the cooler from the car
into Nick's kitchen and stored the contents in the refrigerator and
look around the first floor.

"You've got a great place here."

"Thank you," Nick said as he descended the staircase. "Can I get you
anything, something to drink maybe?"

"Oh, no thank you."

"Just make yourself at home," Nick suggested.

"Ah…actually, I'm a little wiped out from the drive."

"Well, you should rest then. Dinner isn't until seven."

"Yeah, I think that would be a good idea."

"Take a left at the top of the stairs, your suit case is on the bed
and the bathroom is across the hall. What time do you want me to wake
you?"

"How about 5:30? It will give me time to shower and dress for dinner."

"OK," Nick said.

Joanne went up stairs. She removed an elegant black dress from her
suitcase. She walked across the hall and hung it on the back of the
bathroom door. She climbed into bed and was out as soon as her head
hit the pillow.

Downstairs, Nick retrieved his notes from his meeting with Tony and
called Laurie Solt to inform her of the recent developments. Laurie
agreed to make contact with the boy's uncle and his school.

Nick went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottled water from the fridge.
He smiled when he saw the array of Italian delicacies on the top
shelf. He returned to the living room, removed his jacket and tie and
headed to the sofa for a nap.

~ * ~

The phone rang at least three times before Nick jolted awake and
reached for the phone.

"Hello," he said groggily.

"Nick? It's Dad. Did Joanne get into town all right?"

"Ah…yeah, she's resting right now."

"We're still meeting for dinner right?" Burton asked

"Yeah, the Hill Top at seven. We'll meet you there."

"OK, see you then, son."

"See ya."

Nick checked his watch and headed up the stairs two at a time. When
he reached the top, he heard the shower water running and assumed the
phone must have woken her. He changed his suit and tie, washed his
face and combed through his hair and waited for his sister downstairs.

~ * ~

At the Hill Top, the valet provided Nick with a claim ticket and the
doorman assisted Joanne from the car. At the top of the steps Nick
took Joanne by the arm and led her into the restaurant. He could
sense her hesitation and slowed to match her pace.

"Are you OK?" he asked.

"I'm a little…scared," she answered.

Nick leaned in ever so slightly and whispered in her ear. "Don't
worry, so is he."

The Maitre d' spotted Nick.

"Ah, Mr. Fallin, your father has already arrived. He is at a private
booth in the back. Please follow me." Joanne looked at Nick and took
a deep breath before following the Maitre d'.

As they approached the table she could feel her heart beating as if
would jump from her chest. She saw a very tall, handsome man standing
to greet them. He wore a black, three-piece suit with white shirt and
silver tie. The small amount of hair he had was white and trimmed
close to his head. His mouth was difficult to see with the dim
lighting and the shield of his mustache, but she could tell he was
smiling. His eyes were a striking blue. The intensity of Burton's
eyes made her feel as though he was looking directly through her. It
made her uncomfortable enough to look to Nick for assurance. Burton
took a few steps forward, but didn't know if he should shake her hand
or hug her. It made for an awkward moment until Nick interjected and
made the introductions. Joanne smiled modestly shaking Burton's hand.

Burton couldn't take his eyes off her. She was the spitting image of
her mother.

Nick and Joanne sat across from Burton. The initial silence was
deafening, until thankfully Burton spoke.

"I'm sorry, I don't mean to stare, but you look so much like Anne."

Joanne didn't know what to say, she hadn't a more recent picture of
Anne. She looked briefly at Nick and then down at the table. "Ah,
thank you…I think."

Burton recognized her obvious discomfort. "I meant it as a compliment,
I assure you."

The waiter approached the table and Burton suggested the steaks. He
was a real meat-
-and-potatoes kind of guy and both Joanne and Nick acquiesced.

"So, how are you feeling Joanne?" Burton asked.

"Relatively well, thank you. I have some back pain and I'm just tired
most of the time, but other than that, I feel pretty good."

"And you're seeing a doctor tomorrow, right?"

"Yes I am. Oh, and I'll be having blood drawn for the DNA too. Nick
tells me that Mr. Sutoni will be expediting the process for us."

"Yes, he's a good friend of ours. I'm sure he'll be a big help to
facilitate your needs with the clinical trial," Burton said
encouragingly.

There was a short pause in the conversation as the waiter served their
salads and warm bread and butter.

Burton continued. "So, have you and Nick been catching up?"

Before she could answer, Nick interjected.

"Ah…Dad, I found out today that Joanne knows sign language?"

"Oh really? Well that's…that's interesting." Burton said curiously.

"Yeah, actually she helped me with an LSP client. I've been trying to
help this ten-year-old boy, but I couldn't get him to talk to me. He
wouldn't talk to anyone. Joanne walks in, observes him for five
minutes, determines he's deaf and bam! He starts communicating with
her, it was really amazing," Nick said proudly.

Joanne was a little embarrassed; she shifted uncomfortably in her
seat, but managed to smile at Nick before bowing her head. The weight
of this dinner was palpable. She felt like she couldn't catch her
breath. She wanted desperately to speak, but couldn't find the words.
She sipped her water in an effort to quench her dry mouth.

"Nick tells me you're a lawyer at Doyle & Shyberg. That's an
excellent firm."

"Yes, they have an exquisite reputation, much like your own firm," she
answered.

Burton smiled at the compliment. "Do you like working there?" Burton
inquired.

"Ah…yeah, I guess. It's not exactly what I wanted to do, but it's
lucrative."

Nick took a deep breath anticipating that the remark would no doubt
strike a spirited conversation.

"Really? Well what is it you want to do?"

"Don't get me wrong, Mergers and Acquisitions can be
very…invigorating. But when you get right down to it, it's very
dirty…mostly old men arguing over pennies. I guess I would just
prefer to help people who really need help."

Burton just sat quietly. He listened and watched her carefully. His
right elbow rested on the table with his finger resting over his
smiling mouth. 'A liberal, just like Anne,' he thought. Out loud, he
chuckled, "Well don't let Alvin catch you talking like that, he'll
recruit you on the spot."

Nick laughed too.

"Alvin?" Joanne asked
 
"It's an LSP thing. I'll tell you later," Nick replied.

"Ahh…" she replied.

The waiter appeared with their meals. For the most part they ate
quietly except for the exchange of small pleasantries. After the meal
the waiter brought coffee and a dessert menu. As Burton began to
peruse the menu, Joanne suggested they save dessert for later. She
had brought an assortment of pastries her mother made especially for
the trip. When the bill arrived she tried to pay the check as a thank
you for their hospitality, but as usual, Burton wouldn't allow it.

~ * ~

The valet brought the cars around. Burton would follow them back to
Nick's. In the car Joanne took a deep breath.

"You OK?" Nick asked.

"Yeah. That was harder than I thought."

"I know it was awkward, but it'll get better."

"I just don't know what to say or how to behave. It's weird…you know?
I'm usually chatterbox. I can talk to anyone, and do. At the
restaurant I talk to complete strangers all the time. But this…it's…I
don't know what this is."

Nick glanced over at her but did not respond. Oddly enough he
understood.

~ * ~

Joanne and Nick made their way into the kitchen. Nick started the
coffee and Joanne arranged the desserts on a large platter. He
noticed how she carefully placed them on the plate and made a
beautiful arrangement. He could tell she had a culinary flare.
Burton arrived a minute or two later.

"Well, that looks delicious!" Burton gushed.

"Thank you, but I can't take the credit, my mother…ah, Rose, and my
cousin Vitto, they make wonderful desserts. I, on the other hand, I'm
more of the main course kind of girl."

"What's your specialty?" Nick asked.

"hmmm…I'm pretty good with veal dishes, like Franches and Parmigiana
but, a Mr. Tony Bennett prefers my rigatoni quatro formagi."

"Tony Bennett?" Burton questioned.

"Yeah, he sings in the bar at least once a year. I've known him since
I was a little girl. He and Primo met when he was cooking for another
restaurant and Tony was singing there. He loved my father's cooking.
So, when my parents opened their restaurant, he came and sang on
opening night."

Nick raised his eyebrows, "Huh, Tony Bennett," he said.

"What's the name of the restaurant?" Burton inquired.

"It's called Primo's Posto. It means Primo's Place," she said, unable
to hide her pride behind her smile. Primo is my dad's name.

Joanne found herself talking about her parents and Primo's Place. It
was clear how much she loved them and that restaurant. She spoke of
her parents' meager beginnings and shared wonderful animated stories
of entertainers who frequented the restaurant. After a while she
realized she had been talking the whole time, not doubt out of sheer
nervousness.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't be going on like this. I just…can't help
myself sometimes," she giggled her meek apology.

"No, please…it sounds wonderful," Burton encouraged.

Nick was relieved that the conversation seemed to flow more freely
even if it was only from Joanne. He noticed her big smile and her
vibrant laugh. It was the first time he had heard her really laugh
freely. Nick could tell that Burton recognized it too. Not only did
she have Anne's eyes, she had her laugh too and Burton knew it.

"Well, it's getting late. I should be going," Burton said, excusing
himself. He stood and brought his coffee mug and dish to the sink.

"I'll walk you out, Dad," Nick said.

"Goodnight, Mr. Fallin, thank you for dinner," Joanne said.

Burton turned around. "Why don't you just call me Burton…for now," he
said smiled and kissed her on the forehead.

"Bye," Joanne said smiling back. Then she went to the kitchen and
cleaned up the remaining dishes.

Outside, Nick walked his father to the car.

"You OK, Dad?"

"Yeah, she's ah…quite the young woman. Seems like the Giovannis did a
wonderful job raising her."

"Yeah, she's something."

"She is her mother's daughter though. Did you hear that laugh?"
Burton chuckled. "And such a liberal too, but those eyes, that's
entirely your mother."

Burton seemed elated by the memories of Anne and deeply hurt all at
the same time. Nick didn't know how to respond.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Dad."

"OK, son, goodnight."

Nick returned to the kitchen to find Joanne setting the plates in the
dishwasher.

"Is your father OK?" she asked.

"Yeah, he's fine," Nick replied

"OK…I guess I'm gonna go to bed. Tomorrow's going to be another long
day."

"You know…ah, that went well, with my dad," Nick said, trying to
reassure her.

Joanne just smiled and nodded, uncertain if it had really gone well.
"Nick…do you think Burton is my father?"

"I ah…I don't know," her whispered. "But I think he hopes you are."

Joanne walked over to Nick and kissed him lightly once on each cheek.
"Forgive me," she said with a smile. "That's just how my family says
goodnight. Goodnight, Nick."

Nick smiled back. "Night."
 
--+--
 
It was 6:30am when the alarm on Nick's clock radio began to blare.
He clasped a pillow to his ear trying to drown out the noise.
Realizing his attempts were futile, he sat up on the edge of the bed
and staggered into the bathroom to shower and dress for work. When he
entered the hallway, he could smell that sweet nectar of the Gods.

"Mmm…Coffee," he mumbled. Joanne must be up. He walked down the
hall to her room. He found the guestroom door open and the bed
already made.

He descended that stairs and found Joanne in the kitchen. She was
wearing dark blue jogging pants with a gray t-shirt and the jacket
matching her pants was tied around her waist. On her head she wore a
fitted, New York Yankees baseball cap backwards and the headphones
from her disk player covered her ears. Dressed like that, she could
have passed for a fourteen year-old boy. She had made coffee, set
the breakfast table and was preparing eggs and bacon on the stove.
Nick folded his arms and leaned against entrance to the kitchen. He
chuckled to himself as he listened to her sing and watched her bop
her head to the music in her ears. After a minute he approached her
and tapped her on the shoulder.

"AAAHHH," she screamed, spinning around and almost smacking Nick in
the head with the spatula. "Oh! Jesus Nick! You scared me to death,"
as grasped her heart with her hand.

They both laughed heartily.

"Sorry," he said, still laughing. "What's all this?"

"What does it look like? It's breakfast. Hope you're hungry."

"I could eat," he said, mocking her comment from the day before.

Joanne smirked, catching the reference. She filled the plates and
they ate at the kitchen table.

"You going somewhere?" Nick asked, referring to her outfit as he
peered over the newspaper.

"Actually, I just got back. I went for a walk around the
neighborhood."

"What's the matter? Couldn't sleep?"

"No, I slept great. I'm an early riser, a side effect of the
restaurant business. You going to the office this morning?"

"Yeah, I've got to stop at LSP first, then to the office. You want
to go?"

"Sure, just give me a minute to shower and change," she said as she
swallowed down a glass of orange juice. "Dishes are all yours," she
yelled as she ran up the stairs.

Nick grinned as he dropped the paper into his lap and shouted
back, "I don't do dishes."

~ * ~

In Nick's car

"So…that girl I met yesterday, Louisa is it?" Joanne asked

"Yeah, Lulu." Nick said trying to avoid the impending speculation.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Nick glanced over at Joanne with squinted eyes. "What makes you think
that?"

"I am a woman Nick, we just kind of know those things."

"Ah…well, yeah, I guess you could say she's my girlfriend." Nick was
amazed at how perceptive Joanne was.

"You guess? Well, what else would you call it?" she inquired further.

"I don't know. It's kind of complicated," Nick said, trying to
dismiss her question.

Joanne could tell he really didn't want to talk about this but she
decided to push a little further anyway. "What's so complicated, or
are all your relationships complicated?"

Nick scoffed. "I think you ask too many questions."

Joanne stared over at Nick. "Really? Smiling widely, "I was thinking
that I haven't asked enough."

Joanne got the message and changed the subject.

She let out a small sigh, "What will you tell people?"

Nick squinted, "What do you mean?"

"Won't your friends, colleagues, wonder who I am? What do we say? I
suppose I could tell them I'm your cousin if that would make it
easier for you."

"Easier? Nick asked. I don't care what people think. You're my
sister. If they ask who you are…I'll tell them."

"Shouldn't we wait for the DNA, just to be sure? No sense in having
to explain things twice," she suggested.

Nick shrugged, "If that's what you want, but I don't need DNA to know
you're my sister. I already know."

"Really? Without more proof how do you know?"

"Well, for one, you look just like our mother, you have the same eyes…
her laugh too.
The way you were with Tony…comforting…that's how she was. Plus, I
don't have a reason the disbelieve the documentation."

"What about your father? Do you see any of him in me?

"It's hard to say, but from what I've seen, and the way you interact
with people, yeah, that's like my dad."

Joanne had grown silent in reflection of Nick's words. Once again
she felt unsettled. She was happy to have found Nick, anxious to
find out about Burton, disappointed in a mother she never knew, and
sad for the only family she had ever known and loved. Being in
Pittsburgh felt so right on one the hand and such a sense of betrayal
on the other.

~ * ~
Legal Services was much quieter than yesterday, but it was early.
She noticed a light on coming from the office where she had met Lulu,
but the door was closed. Nick walked directly to the broom closet
and opened the door.

"Have a seat. I'll only be a few minutes, I just need to collect a
few files."

"You know ah… your office could use a little…something, but I like
what you've done with the place so far," she teased.

Nick looked up at her momentarily, as he sorted through the files on
his desk.

"Do you mind if I take a look around?" she asked.

"There's not much to look at, but go ahead."

Joanne made her way around the offices. In the bullpen she noticed
an espresso machine and called out to Nick. "Can I make you some
coffee?"

"Sure, I could use a cup," he bellowed back.

Hearing voices, Lulu opened her office door. "Joanne? Hey, how's it
going?"

"Oh, hey, Lulu, it's nice to see you again. I'm making coffee for
Nick, can I get you some?"

"Ah, sure, thanks," Lulu replied.

"Nick's in his--whatever he calls that room back there, if you need
him."

Lulu smiled at her candor. "Well, it's his office but we call it the
broom closet. So how are things going with you…and Nick?"

"Ah, good, thank you," she said as she made the espresso. Joanne
wasn't sure how to answer that question.

"I…ah I know…about you. I mean, I know that you're his sister," Lulu
said.

"Well, I guess that's understandable."

"What do you mean?" Lulu asked

"That Nick would tell his girlfriend about me. It makes sense."

Lulu was surprised. "Nick said that. That I was his `girlfriend,'
Nick never put a label on their relationship before."

Joanne handed Lulu a steaming cup of coffee. "Yeah, well, he said he
didn't really know what to call it, but I read between the lines."

"Oh." Lulu smiled. She was really beginning to like this girl. She
was getting the distinct impression that she would keep Nick on his
toes. Lulu sipped her espresso, "Mm…this is even better than when
Alvin makes it."

Nick was coming out of his office just then and could hear Lulu
talking. He watched the two of them from the threshold of the broom
closet and listened for a moment. He was a little uncomfortable
watching the two of them become fast friends.

"You know, maybe we could have lunch together sometime, before you go
back to New York?" Lulu suggested.

"Yeah, that sounds great, I'd like that."

Joanne noticed Nick walking toward them. "Oh, here's your coffee, how
do you take it?'

"Black is good, thanks. Hey, Lulu," Nick said, embarrassed by the
way he had treated her the day before.

"Hey," she replied, looking at him for a second, then avoiding his
gaze.

Joanne could sense some tension and politely excused herself. "If
you'll excuse me I'm just going to use the restroom."

"Well everything seems to be going well with the two of you," Lulu
said.

"Yeah, you know, it's a little awkward at times, but so far …" Nick
smiled lamely. "Listen, about yesterday, I…ah…I'm sorry, I didn't
mean to be…rude."

Lulu nodded in response to his apology. "Do you think the three of
us could have lunch today? I'd really like to get to know Joanne a
little better."

"I don't know, Lulu, she has a doctor's appointment this afternoon
and I don't know if lunch is going to work out today. But maybe we
could work out something for tomorrow?"

Joanne returned from the restroom, listening to the exchange between
them and interrupted. "Why don't you come over for dinner tonight?
I'll make something special." Lulu looked to Nick who sighed and
half smiled back. Joanne interjected, "Good, since I don't hear any
objections, let's say eight o' clock."

Nick raised his eyebrows and flashed a closed mouth smile. Lulu
shrugged her shoulders and smiled broadly. "OK, see you at 8:00.
Can I bring anything?"

"How about a man, for me? I like them tall, dark, and handsome."
Joanne grinned mischievously. Lulu laughed and Nick rolled his eyes
and cocked his head, giving her a backward glance.

~ * ~

Nick and Joanne left LSP and drove to Fallin & Fallin. Joanne
immediately noticed the distinct contrast between the architecturally
beautiful Frick Building and the mediocrity of LSP. As they stepped
out into the reception area, Gretchen immediately greeted Nick.

"Good morning Nick. Your father is waiting for you and Ms. Giovanni
in his office."

"OK, thank you."

They walked down the hall, through the row of offices until they
reached the corner office at the end, next to a large conference
room. Nick knocked once on the door but opened it without waiting
for an answer.

"Hi, Dad."

Burton lifted his head from the file on his desk and looked over the
top of his glasses. "Come on in," he said, making his way over to
greet Joanne with a handshake and a kiss on the cheek. "Good
morning, how'd you sleep? Is everything working out all right over
at Nick's place?"

"Yes sir. Everything is fine, thank you," she said shyly.

"Well I'm happy to see you made it over to the firm. I thought for
sure Alvin would have held you captive over at LSP."

"Ah, no, I haven't had the pleasure of meeting Alvin yet."

"I'm not sure you should consider it a pleasure just yet," Nick
chimed in.

"So, have you had the grand tour yet?" Burton inquired.

"No, we just got here. But, Burton, don't you think I should just
kind of keep a low profile for now? You know, until the test results
come back."

"Nonsense. If folks get curious…well, you just let me worry about
that. We'll figure out something, OK?" Burton said, placing a hand on
her shoulder.

"OK, you're the boss." Joanne said smiling back.

"Actually, Nicholas, I've got a few things I'd like you to take a
look at. The files are on my desk. Why don't you do that while I
give Joanne here the grand tour?"

Nick looked over at the desk and then back to Burton. His forehead
creased with a look of confusion when he saw only one file on the
desk. He could only assume that Burton wanted some time to talk with
her alone.

Burton led Joanne down the hall with his hand barely grazing the
small of her back. They drifted in and out of the conference rooms
and the many libraries on the second floor. After the office tour,
he took her for a walk outside.

"Do you mind if I smoke?" he said, already lighting up.

"I don't, but your lungs might," she smirked. "My father…I mean Primo
is a cigar smoker."

"Do you smoke?" Burton asked

"I've been known to smoke a stogie or two, but only when I play
poker," she giggled facetiously. "But as a rule, no, I don't smoke."

At a loss for words, an awkward silence fell upon them.

"Burton…can I ask you something?"

Burton nodded, "Sure."

"Does it hurt you when I call Rose and Vincent, Mom and Dad or call
them my parents?"

Burton took in a deep breath contemplating his answer. He had
noticed she corrected herself a few times since when referring to her
parents. "No, they're your parents. Regardless of the circumstances,
they raised you…loved you…still love you I imagine. That will never
change. They deserve that respect."

Nick exited the building and found them outside.

"Hey, I've been looking for you. You're gonna be late for your
appointment, we've got to go," Nick said.

"OK," she replied. Joanne started to follow Nick, but stopped and
turned around.
She drew Nick's attention as he watched her approach Burton. She
placed a hand on Burton's forearm for support as she reached up and
kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you, Burton," she whispered quickly,
then jogged in step to catch up with Nick.

Burton smiled back, "Good luck today."

She turned around again. "Oh, by the way, dinner is at 8:00 at
Nick's," she yelled back to Burton.

Burton raised a hand. "See you then."

~ * ~

When they arrived at Pittsburgh County Hospital, Mr. Sutoni was
waiting in the lobby. He spoke briefly with Nick and asked him to
wait outside of the conference room. He introduced himself to
Joanne, before ushering her into a conference room where four other
women were waiting. Mr. Sutoni addressed the small group and thanked
them for their participation in the trail and introduced Dr. John
Carter.

Dr. Carter looked to be in his mid to late thirties and Joanne took
note that he was considerably more handsome than Dr. Allen. She was
impressed by the individual attention he paid to each person. He
thoroughly explained the trial medications and what they would be
looking and testing for. He mentioned some of the known side effects
and that he would be asking the participants to keep a journal of all
of their experiences and symptoms over the next several weeks. After
this initial meeting Dr. Carter would meet and examine the patients
and start them on their medications right away.

Each patient was handed a large folder of information and a stack of
forms to be filled out in the waiting room. Joanne sat next to Nick
and began filling out the forms. Nick noticed her hands shaking
slightly, but he didn't say anything. She had difficulty answering
the family history questions, and Nick could only offer little help.
She had barely finished by the time the nurse called her name.

"Nick, you don't have to stay. I can call for a ride when I'm done."

"No, that's OK, I'll wait right here," he said, pointing to the seats
in the waiting room.

Over an hour had passed. Nick paced the corridor, rubbing his hand
on the back of his neck. This was a different kind of worry for
him. Something he hadn't felt before. A worry for someone he felt
he was responsible for. He wanted to take care of her, make sure she
was going to be OK. He was frustrated by his helplessness.

Nick had paced all the way down the corridor when he heard Joanne
exit the exam room. Dr. Carter was giving her some final
instructions as Nick approached.

"Oh, Dr. Carter, this is the `Nicholas' I was telling you about.
He's been helping me fill in the blanks with my mother's history."

Nick and Dr. Carter shook hands.

"Hi, Nick, nice to meet you," Dr. Carter said.

"Yeah, you to. So what's the verdict here? Can you help her?" Nick
wasn't mincing words.

"Yes, we can, but at this point it's tough to tell the exact course
of action. We'll know more after the surgery on Thursday."

"This Thursday?" Nick asked with surprise. "That's kind of quick,
isn't it?"

"We need to get her started right away. The sooner the better." Dr.
Carter returned his attention to Joanne. "OK, you've got everything
you need. Start on the meds tonight, don't forget to keep a log and
try to rest over the next couple of days, build up you immune
system. Call that number I gave you if you have any questions or
concerns, otherwise, I'll see you Thursday morning," he said with an
assuring smile and a pat her shoulder.

Nick took a deep breath and stretched his hands deep in his pockets.
He was so caught up in what the doctor had said; he didn't
immediately notice how full Joanne's arms were. "Oh! Here, let me
help you with that." Nick took several large plastic bags containing
different drugs and together they walked to the receptionist area and
made her arrangements for surgery.

~ * ~
On the way to Nick's, Joanne made Nick stop at Thompson House. She
told Tony she would come back and see him. She wasn't about to break
her promise. After their visit, Joanne jotted down her address for
Tony so that they could keep in touch. Tony hugged her tightly and
didn't want to let go. She kissed him on the top of his head and
patted his back. After a moment, she looked to Nicholas to help her
exit. Nick approached Tony and placed a hand on his shoulders. When
Tony broke away he shook Nick's hand and signed "thank you."

They stopped at the grocery on the way home. Nick noticed how Joanne
carefully picked the freshest vegetables, Italian bread, cheeses, and
pasta. She spoke directly to the butcher about the specific cut of
veal she wanted and made the butcher show her the selections before
he packaged it. They returned home and unpacked the groceries.

Joanne didn't have a lot to say after leaving the hospital. Although
Nick hadn't known her very long, he knew she wasn't the same woman he
first met. He thought perhaps he should leave her alone, but he
ignored that instinct.

"Are you OK?" he asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?" she asked evasively.

"It's just that you haven't said much since we left the hospital."

"I'm fine, really. Now, make yourself useful and help me with
dinner," she said, trying to avoid his question and change the
subject.

The truth was she was afraid, afraid of cancer, afraid of the
surgery, and afraid of dying. She felt out of control. Unknowingly,
she did what Fallins do best and avoided discussing it.

"I'm not really `good' in the kitchen, that's sort of my Dad's
thing," Nick said, looking for a little guidance.

"Ah, OK, here. Can you handle making a salad? There isn't much you
can screw up with salad, right?" Nick gave her a sideways glance.

Soon there was fresh tomato sauce bubbling on the stove and the smell
of garlic was permeating the air. With a hand towel slung over her
shoulder she stirred the large pot on the stove. She scooped a small
amount sauce into a spoon and offered a taste to Nicholas.

"Here," she said, "try this," as she held the spoon to his Nick's
mouth with her palm under the spoon.

"Mm, it's good, very good!" he nodded.

As they were setting the table the doorbell rang. Nick answered the
door to find Lulu holding two bottles of wine.

"Wow, it smells great in here," she gushed, handing the wine to Nick.

"Two bottles?" he asked.

Lulu saunter up to Nick and whispered seductively in his ear, "I
thought we could save one for later."

Nick grinned mischievously. "Sounds like a plan," he said. With a
bottle of wine in each hand he wrapped his arms around her and kissed
her deeply. Only moments later they were interrupted when the bell
rang again. This time he opened the door to find Burton with a
beautiful bouquet of pink roses.

Nick and Lulu finished setting the table while Burton went to the
kitchen and found Joanne struggling to reach a platter from a
cabinet. Burton set the flowers down on the table.

"Hi there. Why don't you let me help you with that?" Burton said,
reaching for the platter and handing it to Joanne.

"Oh, these are for you," he said, handing her the flowers.

"They're beautiful, thank you, but you shouldn't have."

"Dinner smells delicious, what are we having?"

"We're having veal parmigiana with angel hair pasta, Gorgonzola
bread, and salad with a balsamic vinaigrette dressing. I hope that's
OK with you."

"Yeah, it's great," Burton said as he brought the platter of veal to
the table. Joanne followed closely behind with the plate full of
bread and the bowl of salad.

Dinner had gone flawlessly. They were truly enjoying each other's
company. Lulu and Joanne were getting along famously. They shared
similar interest in art and music, but it was their liberal
philosophies and dreams of changing world that really tied them
together. Burton couldn't help but sit back and listen to this
amazing young lady. She was vibrant and charismatic, yet shy and
reserved. He was captivated. If he didn't already know she was
sick, he wouldn't have known she had a care in the world. There were
moments when he saw glimpses of Nicholas, but for the most part he
simply thought of Anne. Burton noticed how Joanne could make Nick
laugh. He hadn't heard Nick really laugh in a long, long time. That
was something Anne could always do. Joanne was the most vivid memory
of his wife. He couldn't remember a time before now, when he could
actually feel Anne's presence. But tonight, she was here in spirit.
Her mark was all over this night.

They retired to the living room for coffee and freshly made
cannoli's. She brought the pasty shells with her from the restaurant
and whipped up the filling that afternoon. Joanne had been steaming
milk on the stove for the coffee, when Nick entered the kitchen. He
noticed that Joanne look very tired, almost trembling. She was
supporting most of her weight on her arms, which were braced on the
counter. Suddenly her knees buckled. She grasped the counter
tighter to steady herself and before she hit the floor, Nick grabbed
her and lowered her down slowly. Her face was pale, but she was
conscious. She sat with her back against the cabinets. She crossed
her arms to support her head, now resting on her bent knees.

"Joanne! Joanne, are you OK?"

"Yeah, I'm…uh…fine. I just felt light headed for a moment, but I'm
fine now."

"Are you sure? I think we should call Dr. Carter."

"No, no, no…really, I'm fine. It's probably just the wine. I'll be
all right. I just need to call it night and go lay down."

"Your sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. Can you just help me up so I can go and say
goodnight?"

Joanne stood and took in a deep breath. She was exhausted and the
pain in her back and abdomen had become very uncomfortable. She
steeled herself with her arms braced on the counter until the feeling
of dizziness left her. Nick tried to assist her but she waved him
off.

"I'm OK, Nicholas, really. Thank you, though," she smiled lamely.

"Ah, Dad, Joanne's not feeling very well. She's a little tired so,
ah…"

Burton stood from the sofa; he immediately noticed the lack of color
in Joanne's face. "Oh, are you all right, can I do anything?"

"No, thank you, Burton, I'm a little tired, that's all. I just
wanted to say goodnight before I went up. You too, Lulu, thanks for
coming I'm glad we got to know each other better."

"Yeah, me too, Joanne. I'm looking forward to next time." Lulu and
Nick exchanged a look. Lulu could see how worried Nick was. "You
know, why don't I help you to your room. Would that be all right?"

Joanne glanced at the large staircase and recognized that she would
not be able to navigate it alone. "Thank you, that would be nice."

Lulu took her by the arm and Nick and Burton watched as they slowly
climbed the stairs.

Burton rubbed his fingers across his mustache. "Do you think we
should call the doctor?"

"I don't know Dad. She told me not to. I'll keep an eye on her
tonight. If she gets any worse I'll take her in," Nick assured his
father.

"Yeah, that's a good idea. Just keep me posted," Burton added.

Nick saw his father to the door and started towards the stairs, when
he saw Lulu descend them.

Nick waited with his hands on his hips. "How is she?"

"She's fine. I think she's right-she just over did it today." Lulu
took Nick's hands from his hips and wrapped them around her
back. "So, how are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm good, you?" he replied.

"Better, now that I'm with you," she said as she snuggled into his
chest.

Nick stood holding Lulu close. His chin resting on her head as his
distracted gaze drifted momentarily up the stairs.

"So, what do you think?" Lulu asked. "Should we crack open another
bottle of wine?"

"Ah, no," Nick responded.

Lulu pulled away, feeling slightly rejected. But Nick quickly pulled
her back. With both hands he held her face and kissed her, softly at
first, then more urgently. "I don't need the wine," he explained,
smiling wryly. "Let's go." Nick took Lulu by the hand he led her to
the sofa.

He laid her down and positioned himself deliberately between her
legs. Lulu loved feeling the weight of his entire body on hers. She
tugged at Nick's shirt, pulling it out from the back of his pants;
she dragged it up over his back then over his head. They wrestled to
untangle it from each of his arms. Nick deftly removed her blouse
and her black lacy bra. He slid her skirt up over her hips and
removed her matching panties. Lulu could feel the heat of his desire
between them. She reached down between their bodies with both
hands. She struggled to unbuckle and unzip his pants, before she
pushed them over his buttocks. Lulu took in a sharp breath as Nick
thrust himself into her. Together they rocked back and forth in
rhythmic fashion. Lulu wrapped her legs tightly around Nick's waist
and pressed her hips into his groin as Nick sucked and teased at her
nipples. Soon Lulu could feel concentric waves of pleasure through
her whole body as Nick's body tensed and shuttered. Nick could feel
her insides desperately gripping his shaft. He could hear her panting
with excitement until he covered her mouth with his kissing her
passionately. Lulu knew he was ready to explode. She opened her
eyes and watched him as he squeezed his eyes tightly, grimacing and
gritting his teeth as they came together. Lulu muffled her moans
into Nick's neck, her muscles ached from holding on to him so
tightly. Moments later, the feelings in Nick's extremities began to
return and he collapsed on her, spent and relieved of all tension.
He rested his head in the hollow of her neck and shoulder. Lulu
circled her arms around him and rested her lips on his forehead.
Sleep took them over.

Nick awoke to find himself entangled with Lulu, side by side on the
couch. He swept a strand of hair from over her eye and kissed her on
the forehead. Lulu purred at his touch and gradually came awake.

"Come on," he said "let's go sleep upstairs."

Lulu pulled on Nick's shirt and collected her cloths that were strewn
about.
Nick put on his pants and together they made their way upstairs. At
the top of the steps, Nick looked down the hall to Joanne's room.

"Lulu, go ahead in, I'll be right there."

"Is everything all right Nick?" she asked

"Yeah, I just want to check in on her before we go to bed."

He made his was down the hall. The door was already slightly ajar,
but carefully he opened it wider and looked inside. He could see
that Joanne was sound asleep, curled up on her side. Nick entered
the room and pulled the covers up from her waist to just above her
shoulders. She looked so peaceful that is was hard for him to
imagine how sick she was. Somehow he couldn't resist, gently he
brushed the back of his index finger across her cheek and tucked a
strand of hair behind her ear. Joanne winced and blinked.

Blurry eyed and groggily she spoke, "Nicholas?"

Nick whispered back. "Shhh, it's just me…go back to sleep. I'm sorry
I woke you."

He turned to leave, but before he could go, Joanne called to him
again in a raspy voice.

"Nicholas."

With his hand on the doorknob he turned his head to acknowledge
her, "Yeah?"

"You never told me where our mother is."

Nick looked away and sighed heavily, "St. Mary's Cemetery. Now go
back to sleep, we can talk in the morning."

"Goodnight Nick."

"Goodnight."
 
--+--
 
The sound of running water woke Nicholas from a deep sleep. He
stretched one arm across the bed in search of Lulu, but the space
she had previously occupied was empty.
He lifted his head off the pillow and found that her cloths were
still draped across a chair.

Nick put on a pair of black silk pajama bottoms and made his way
downstairs. On the way down he noticed that the guest bedroom door
was closed. He assumed that Joanne was still asleep.

In the kitchen he made coffee, retrieved the paper from the front
door and poured himself a bowl of cereal.

Lulu joined him only minutes later. Her hair was still wet and she
was wearing Nick's robe.

"Hey," she said

Nick looked up from his paper. He liked the way she looked in his
robe. Nick stood and pulled out a chair for her to sit and kissed
her on the lips. "Morning, want some breakfast? I've got cereal and
some…bagels I think."

"Bagel sounds good. How's the coffee?"

"It's not as good as Joanne's, but it's not bad."

"How is she this morning?"

Nick poured Lulu some coffee. "I don't know. She's still asleep."
Holding up the bagel, he turned to her. "Do you want this toasted?"

"Please."

Nick set some cream cheese on the table. "You know…her surgery is
scheduled for tomorrow morning."

"Oh, I didn't know that. That's good isn't it? Get it taken care
of right away."

Nick let out a heavy sigh "Yeah, it is." Nick didn't sound
convinced. He felt rushed and wasn't really ready to see his sister
go through the treatment process. Joanne didn't talk the surgery or
the chemotherapy with Nick, but he knew that she must my afraid. He
thought about trying to talk to her about it, but didn't what to
frighten her even more by rehashing his experience with their mother.

"What about the DNA? When will you know if Burton is her father?"

"Today, hopefully."

Lulu could tell Nick was preoccupied. She could almost see the
wheels turning in his head. Nick body seemed to stiffen with the
exception of his jaw that seemed to pulse with tension. She was
certain that he must have been remembering the events leading up to
his mother's death. It seemed impossible for him not to. She tried
to offer some sense of comfort and assurance.

"She's going to be all right, Nick. I just know that she is."

Nick looked at Lulu for a moment and then looked away, avoiding her
gaze. "I know," he replies, trying to convince Lulu that he wasn't
really worried. Nick wanted to believe she would be fine, but his
experience with his mother, made it difficult to think positively.

He checked his watch. It was almost 8:00. He thought it was a
little odd that Joanne wasn't up yet and he decided to check on
her. He knocked lightly on the door, but there was no response.
Nick eased the door open slowly and poked his head into the room.
He found that the bed was already made. He checked the bathroom
across the hall, but that was empty too. "Maybe she went for walk
like yesterday," he thought. Nick went to his room and quickly
changed.

When Nick returned to the kitchen moments later, his forehead was
furrowed and he walked with a quick and deliberate gate. Lulu could
almost see his heart beating through his shirt.

"What's wrong?"

"She's not in her room," Nick said as he headed toward the kitchen
door. He opened it and step outside.

Lulu tried to be helpful. "OK, well…maybe she went for a walk or had
an appointment or something."

Nick stood with his hands on his hips. Something didn't feel quite
right. "I don't think so, she didn't tell me that."

"Nick, let's not panic. Let me get dressed…I'll help you look for
her."

"I'm not panicking," he snapped back. "Her car is gone."

Nick couldn't wait for Lulu. "I'm sorry, but I gotta go. I'll call
you later." He grabbed his keys from table and headed through the
front door. In the car he called his father. He thought maybe
they had met for breakfast.

"Hello," his father answered.

"Dad, it's me, Nick."

"Oh, morning, Nicholas. How's…"

Nick interrupted, "Dad, is Joanne with you?"

"No. Why?" Burton was instantly perturbed. "Why isn't she with
you?"

"I woke up this morning and she was gone."

"What do you mean gone?"

Nick huffed and rolled his eyes in frustration. "I went to check on
her this morning and she wasn't in her room, and when I checked the
driveway, her car was gone too."

"Well, you need to find her!" Burton shouted.

Nick barked back. "I know Dad. What do you think I'm trying to do?"

Burton recognized his overreaction. He calmed himself and began to
think more rationally. "All right, all right, when was the last
time you saw her?" he asked.

"Last night. I checked in on her before I went to bed. I talked to
her, she was fine."

"You talked to her? Well, what did she say?"

"Jesus Dad, I don't know. I ah…I accidentally woke her up and she
ah…she asked me something about Mom. Oh shit! I know where she is,
Dad. I'll call you back."

"Nick…Nick wait, where is she…" Burton asked but the phone went dead.

~ * ~

Nick drove slowly into the gated property. He didn't come here
often enough, but he knew the way by heart. He scanned the row
until he saw the stark contrast of Joanne's red roadster against the
lush green lawns of St. Mary's Cemetery.

He parked directly behind her car. When he got out, he stood back
with his hands in his pockets and watched her from a distance.
Joanne stood statue-like in front of Anne's grave, her head bowed.
Nick wondered how long she had been standing there. He waited a few
minutes before he approached her, but when he did, he remained an
arm's length behind. He noticed she was holding a few of the pink
roses Burton had given her last night.

Joanne had heard Nick drive up. Somehow she knew he would find her
there. She didn't move from her position even though she knew Nick
was standing behind her.

"I've been standing here for hours…trying figure out why…why she
would do this to me?" Joanne turned her head slightly to see Nick
out of the corner of her eye. "Why she would do this to all of us…
How could she do that? She turned completely to face Nick. "Make
me understand this…please…I want to understand." Tears poured down
her cheeks as she stared at Nick. "I want to forgive her…but I just
can't."

Nick looked down at the ground and shook his head. "I don't know
what to say. I can't…I can't explain this…I don't have any answers."

Joanne took one last glance at Anne's grave and tossed the roses at
the base of her tombstone. "I hate you for doing this," she
seethed.

Those words were like a knife through Nick's heart. He wanted to
reach out and comfort Joanne, but there was nothing he could say.
Her anger wasn't unwarranted, but it hurt Nick to hear those words
about the mother he loved so much.

Joanne walked passed Nick, tears still streaming, Nick put his hand
on her arm as she passed, hoping she would stop. "Joanne, please…
wait," he said, but she quickly escaped his grasp and headed to her
car. "I've got to go," she said trembling "I'll see you later."

Nick watched her drive off. He stood at his mother's grave
contemplating her actions so many years ago.

"I wish I understood, too, Mom."

~ * ~

Nick arrived at Fallin & Fallin and went directly to his father's
office. Burton was on the phone when Nick entered without knocking
and Burton quickly dispensed with the call.

"Well, did you find her?" his face racked with concern.

"Yeah, Dad, she's fine. Upset, but fine."

Burton stood up and came to lean against the front of his desk, his
legs crossed and arms folded in front of him. "What do you mean
upset? Where did you find her?"

"She was at the cemetery. She had been there all morning standing
in front of Mom's grave…looking for answers, I guess," Nick said
solemnly. "She's angry at her," he added in a whisper.

Burton breathed a heavy sigh and lit a cigarette. "Well, I guess
she has good reason to," he thought out loud.

Nick turned to leave but reconsidered. "Did Mom do this because of
you? Because you didn't love her enough or you didn't want another
baby?" Nick boiled over.

Burton was shocked at his son's accusations. "What? Nicholas-No! I
didn't have anything to do with this. I would have loved another
baby. I didn't know your mother was pregnant, I didn't know about
the baby!"

"Well maybe that was the problem," Nick jabbed back. "You didn't
know, because you didn't pay any attention to her. You were always
too busy devoting your life to the firm."

Burton was irritated to say the least at Nick, but he quickly
regained his composure. He knew Nick's questions were driven by his
pain and frustration. Burton walked to the window and stared out as
he smoked his cigarette. "If Anne…if she had just told me what was
going on…I would have been there…supported her. I loved her,
Nicholas…still love her. But, it doesn't matter now, what's done is
done. We just have to do the best we can now." Burton turned to
face his son.

"You're wrong, Dad! It does matter! It matters to me and I know
damn well it matters to Joanne." Nick words were venomous. "If you
had seen her there this morning, standing there, crying... she's
tortured and angry. She's so hurt Dad…and, and…there's nothing I
can do to fix!" he exploded. She's going to spend the next six to
twelve months fighting for her life and if…if she doesn't make it…I
don't want her dying, thinking that our mother didn't think she was
worth keeping."

Burton was exasperated; he understood his son's anger. He leaned
forward, his fists on the desk, trying to reason with Nick, putting
on his best defense. "If she didn't trust me to tell me what was
happening, what was I supposed to do? "Jesus Nick! You're acting
like this is my fault. That somehow I made your mother give her up.
God, Nick, you know your mother as well as I did. No one could make
her do anything she didn't want to do. I can only image that she
had her reasons. I don't know what else I can tell you. Maybe
there is something to this mental illness crap your aunt keeps
spewing?"

Nick scoffed and rolled his eyes. Mental illness was not an excuse
he was willing to accept. "I gotta go Dad, I'm due in court," he
said curtly.

"Ah, Nick, before you go," Burton pick up a file marked confidential
from his desk and handed it to Nick. "Edgar Sutoni dropped this off
this morning. I thought you might want to give it to Joanne."

Nick took the envelope. "Is this the DNA results?"

Burton nodded in confirmation, "I thought she should be the first to
know."

Nick turned and opened the door to leave. He paused briefly and
glanced backwards at his father. Burton stared back. Nick thought
about apologizing for what he had said, but didn't.

~ * ~

In Nick's car he held the envelope in his hands, turning it over and
over again. He considered opening it, but he knew that would be
wrong, not to mention illegal. Instead he shoved it in his
briefcase and drove to court.

Nick didn't feel much like going back to Fallin & Fallin after four
custody hearings. He wasn't in the mood to face his father after
the accusations he had slung at him earlier. And although he felt
terrible about the way he treated him, he wasn't about to apologize,
at least, not yet. He was still angry and confused. He could
sympathize with his mother; after all, he knew what it felt like to
be ignored by Burton Fallin.

~ * ~

Nick got off the elevator and went directly to Lulu's office and
entered without knocking.

"I found Joanne this morning, she was at the cemetery where our
mother is buried," Nick said, a little cautiously. Given the way he
left things with Lulu this morning, he wasn't sure what her reaction
would be.

"I already know," she said momentarily looking up from the brief in
front of her.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Your sister is in your office," Lulu checked her watch "She's been
here for a couple of hours."

"Well, why? I mean what is she doing here? Is she OK?"

"Nick, she's fine. She called me this morning because she didn't
want to bother you after what happened at the cemetery this
morning. She needed someone to talk to and something to preoccupy
her mind. So, I told her to come here. She's been helping me with
some of my paperwork and setting up appointments for the next week
and now she's looking through your case files and taking notes for
you. Quite frankly Fallin, you should be paying her," Lulu said
sarcastically.

"Well what did Alvin say, or James and Barbara?" he inquired.

"Don't get mad Nick, but…I talked to them, I explained about
Joanne. I was just…I was trying to help you. I thought it would
take some of the pressure off you."

Nick started to pace back and forth, rubbing his thumb and fingers
over his mouth and chin. He wasn't sure if he was mad or grateful
to her for having saved him the awkwardness of doing it
himself. "Well, how did they take it? What did they say?"

"Nick, you know Alvin, naturally he was concerned for you and how
you were handling things. I told him that you were fine and Barbara
was thrilled and excited as she usually is and James, well, he was
surprised but that's it. Believe me, no one is passing judgment on
you or family."

Surprised and a little relieved, Nick replied, "And that's it?"

"Yeah, that's it, everything is fine, so just relax and go see your
sister." Lulu said calmingly.

From the bullpen, Nick could see his sister perusing a stack of
files on his desk. He watched her momentarily as he poured himself
a coffee and was taken aback by how naturally she seemed to fit in
with the place. She looked like she had been working there all her
life. Oddly enough, he felt more out of place there than she did.
Nick walked over and leaned on the doorframe to the broom closet.

"So, I hear you're taking over my broom closet."

Joanne looked up from the desk and Nick a half smile. "Oh, well,
you know, Alvin said somebody had to, it appears that you've been
slacking a little lately," she chided sarcastically. "I hope that
doesn't have anything to with me," she tentatively inquired.

Nick smiled, walked in to his office and sat across from her sipping
his coffee. "I could work sixty hours a week here and Alvin would
still think I'm slacking."

"Yeah, I sort of got that impression, a true activist, huh?"

"Oh, Yeeaahhh," Nick griped.

Joanne had trouble keeping eye contact with him. She was
embarrassed by her behavior at cemetery that morning and felt bad
about what she had said.

"Nick, I'm ah… I'm sorry about this morning. I didn't mean what I
said, I just…I just got angry and…"

Nick shook his head, "No, don't. You don't have anything to
apologize for. You have a right to be angry."

"No, actually, I don't. I have to believe that whatever made our
mother to do this, she did it for me…and regardless of the reasons,
she thought it was the right thing to do. I have a great life.
I've got no complaints." Joanne looked down at the files she was
working on and sorted through a few. "When I look at these,"
holding up the files for Nick to see, "I realize how truly lucky
I've been all my life."

Nick nodded, "Yeah, I guess we're both pretty luck."

Joanne cleared her throat and began to stand. "Here, let me get out
of your way."

"No, no, no," Nick said, "Sit, show me what you've been working on."

Nick moved his chair around to the other side of the desk. Nick
considered giving her the envelop with the DNA results right then,
but it had already been a difficult day and it was nice to talk
about something else for a change. Together they went through each
file, looking over her notes, prioritizing and categorizing the
clients. Hours past but it seemed like only minutes. It was long
past closing time when Lulu knocked at the door.

"Hey, we're all going over to The Incline for drinks. You guys
coming?"

Nick looked to Joanne to see if she was up for it. She nodded "yes."

"Yeah, we'll be right behind you, just give us a few minutes," Nick
said.

Nick got up and retrieved the confidential envelope from his brief
case and handed it to Joanne.

"Edgar gave this to my Dad this morning…he thought you should be the
one to open it first."

Joanne tentatively took the envelope from Nick's hand as she stood
and walked out from behind the desk. She held it for several
seconds, not saying anything, just holding it, knowing its contents
hopefully held a means to an end and the beginning of something
else. She stood there frozen, uncertain as to what to do.

"You don't have to open it now…if you don't want to," he said,
trying to ease her out of her trance.

"Ah, no…I should do it now…don't you think?" Joanne said looking
for guidance.

With a tilt of his head and slight purse of his lips, Nick
said, "It's your call."

Joanne reached for a letter opener on the desk and ripped open the
seal. She took in a deep breath and removed the papers from the
envelope and began reading. She let out a heavy sigh from the
breath she was inadvertently holding. Without giving anything away,
Joanne handed the papers to Nick and allowed him to read them for
himself. Nick too took in a deep breath and smiled as he let it
out. "Well…welcome to the family…officially," he said. Joanne
finally smiled through a few tears that barely clung to her lower
lids, waiting to spill over. Nick took a step closer and hugged
her. He gently rubbed her back as he permitted her a moment to get
her emotions under control. When she lifted her head from his
chest, she smiled timidly through her red wet eyes.

"You OK?" Nick asked.

"Yeah, I'm good. It's just ah…it's over. The search is finally
over. Can you call Burton? Ask him to meet us at The Incline, I
want to tell him in person." Joanne was clearly relieved, but
looked like she needed to throw up. "Can you give me a second to
wash my face and get myself together before we go?"

"Yeah, sure."

Joanne left Nick's office and made her way to the restroom.

Nick stood with his hands firmly planted on his hips; he lifted his
face to the ceiling and breathed a sigh of relief. He knew how
devastated his father would have been if the results had shown
anything else. As difficult as this situation was, it would have
crushed Burton if Anne had had a child with another man. He reached
for the phone and left a message for Burton, letting him know that
they would be at The Incline.

~ * ~

At The Incline, they found James, Barbara, Lulu and Alvin and a few
others sitting towards the back of the room. They had arranged
several tables to accommodate their group. There were several
drinks already on the table and the group was laughing and enjoying
themselves. Nick and Joanne approached and were welcomed warmly.
Joanne sat between Nick and James. Before Nick had a chance, James
quickly introduced her to Laurie Solt, who was sitting across from
her and they shook hands and exchanged pleasantries.

"I've heard a lot about you," Laurie said.

"Really, already?" Joanne replied, smiling in Lulu's direction.

"Well, you know what they say about good news," Laurie replied
happily.

The waitress arrived and Nick ordered a club soda with lime and
Joanne ordered a beer, but Nick gave her a raised eyebrow and a
small tight-lipped smile that reminded her of the surgery she was
desperate to forget. Instead, she chose to mimic Nick's order.

Jake and Clair arrived shortly after and Nick met up with them at
the bar. He wanted a chance to tell them about Joanne before they
joined the group and heard it from someone else. Jake was floored
by the news and couldn't help but think that his position and the
firm might leave him even further down the food chain. Claire
hadn't known the Fallins as long as Jake did and appeared to be less
affected by the news.

It wasn't long before a significant amount of attention was focused
on Joanne. Although the group's interest was slightly overwhelming,
she knew it was just their natural curiosity. She was a master at
deflecting things she couldn't or didn't want to answer and she
managed to easily turn the tables on them. When things got too
uncomfortable she would nonchalantly nudge Nick and he would assist
in changing the subject.

Joanne noticed that Nick kept checking his watch.

"Did you want to go now?" she whispered to him, trying not to bring
any additional attention to them.

"No, I was just expecting Dad by now." He looked back at the door
and then to Jake. "Did my father have a late appointment?"

"Not that I'm aware of, he was still at the office when I left."

Nick leaned over to Joanne, "I'll be right back," and got up from
the table. He dialed his father's number before he even step
outside of The Incline. When Burton's voicemail picked up, Nick
started to leave another message until he saw his father walking
around the corner.

"Dad, where have you been? I left you a message."

The smoke from Burton's cigarette momentarily clouded his face and
Nick was having difficulty reading his demeanor. "I got your
message. Has Joanne read the papers yet?" he asked.

"Ah…she's inside. Look, Dad, I'm sorry about this morning."

Burton looked at his son for a moment, and then stubbed out his
cigarette. "Let's just forget about it, OK, son?"

Jake noticed as they arrived through the front door. "Here he is,"
referring to Burton.

Joanne looked over to see Burton and Nick approaching. She stood
and excused herself from the table, she wanted to talk to Burton and
give him the news.

"Hey, you made it," she said, trying to contain her happiness. "Do
you have a second?"

"Yeah, of course, let's sit over here," Burton said pointing to an
empty booth.

Nick wanted to give his father and Joanne a moment alone. "Dad, let
me get you a drink?"

"Yeah, a scotch would be great."

Nick headed to the bar, but not before flashing his sister a quick
wink of support.

"Nick handed me the DNA result a little while ago," she said
apprehensively.

"And…" Burton said, trying to ready himself for the worse-case
scenario.

"And…congratulations…it's a girl," she chuckled nervously.

The relief on Burton's face was evident; she could see his lips curl
into a smile under his mustache and his blues eyes began to glisten
with the tears he was clearly holding back. The weight on Burton's
shoulders seemed to visibly lift. He reached out across the table
for her hand, and squeezed it tightly for a moment, but that wasn't
enough. He stood from the booth and taking Joanne's hand, he lifted
her to her feet. Burton hugged her tightly, swaying slightly back
and forth. Nick returned with his scotch, but held back and waited
for his father to release her.

Burton had been equally as overwhelmed as Joanne had these last few
days. "Well, I don't know what to say, but this calls for a
celebration, don't you think?" he said, taking the scotch from Nick
in one hand and clapping him on the back with the other. "This is
wonderful news! Let's get some champagne and celebrate! How about
dinner?"

"I would really love to, Burton, but I can't…not tonight anyway.
With the surgery tomorrow morning, I'm not supposed to eat or drink
alcohol after eight."

Their celebration was short lived with her impending operation
looming in the wings, and a constant reminder of how the revelation
came to be.

"Yeah, actually, it's getting late," Nick said, as he checked his
watch, "We should get you home."

"Just let me say goodbye to everyone."

Joanne turned around to face the group, realizing they had been
watching this display and her cheeks warmed with embarrassment. She
said her goodbyes and shook hands with everyone except Lulu, who
instead opted for a hug.

Nick and Burton watched her say good night to the group.

"What a day," Burton said to Nick. Not really knowing what to else
to say.

Nick stood beside his father with his hands in his pockets. "I'm
glad it worked out this way, Dad. Oh, here," he handed the official
report to Burton so that he could see the truth from himself. "Me
too," he father added.

They looked back and saw Lulu hugging Joanne.

"Good luck tomorrow, I'll come and see you, OK?" Lulu said with an
encouraging smile. "And don't worry; everything is going to be
fine."

"Thanks, Lulu…thanks for everything."

Joanne returned to her new family as they led her out the door.

"So, I'll see you tomorrow morning at the hospital. What time
should I meet you there?" Burton asked

"Surgery is at eight, but I need to be there at six. You know, you
don't have to come; you could just visit when it's over. No need
for you to waste the whole day."

"No, no, no, I'll be there…I want to be there," Burton affirmed.

"See you tomorrow, Dad," Nick said.

"OK, son, good night," Burton said, as he shook one hand and patted
him on the shoulder with the other. He looked at his newfound
daughter and said, "Good night sweetheart," as he hugged her one
more time and kissed her on the cheek. Joanne whispered in his
ear, "good night, Dad."

Burton's heart nearly burst as he heard those words. He immediately
turned to leave, hoping he could make it around the corner to
conceal his tears from his children.

~ * ~

Nick and Joanne returned to Nick's house after picking up their cars
from LSP. Nick dropped his keys on the table in the foyer and went
directly to the kitchen. He rattled around in the refrigerator
digging up something to eat.

He called out to Joanne, "You hungry?"

"Yes, but I can't eat anything now, remember? Nothing but water
until midnight and then nothing after that," she yelled from the top
of the stairs as she made her way to her room to change for bed.

"Oh, yeah," he said out loud to himself, and returned the leftover
angel hair pasta to the refrigerator. He was starved, but didn't
want to be rude.

"You can go ahead and eat though, it won't bother me," she said as
she came down the stairs and walked into the kitchen. She was
dressed in pajama pants and a t-shirt.

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Yeah, I'm sure. I've got to make a call to my parents anyway."

Joanne noticed Nick's hesitation and grabbed the pasta from the
fridge for him. "Here," she said, handing him the container of
pasta and getting a bottled water for herself, "but don't nuke it.
You should never nuke pasta," she chastised, pointing her finger at
him.

Joanne took the cordless phone into the living room. She used a
phone card from her wallet and placed the call. Nick could hear
bits and pieces of her conversation from the kitchen as he warmed
the pasta in a fry pan on the stove. And although he could hear
her, she spoke mostly in Italian and could not understand her. Her
tone sounded jovial at first, but soon turned terse. She sounded
frustrated and concerned all at once. Nick poked his head out from
the kitchen and watched her as she paced in front of the couch,
gripping her hair in her hand and rolling her eyes. He could tell
things weren't going to well. She went to her purse and read off
several phone numbers into the phone. One he assumed to be the
hospital number, the other's was Nick's. As time passed, her
emotions became more subdued and she sat in the corner of the sofa
with her legs curled up under her, resting her head against the back
pillow. She spoke softly and switched between Italian and English.
Almost an hour later, her heard her end finally, with an "I love
you."

Nick stayed in the kitchen listening until the silence was too much
for him to bear. He made his way slowly to the living room trying
to gage Joanne's mood.

"How are you parents? Is everything OK?" he asked.

"Uh…they're fine. They're worried, but fine."

Nick sat in the chair across from her. "What's going on?"

"They want to be here in Pittsburgh for the surgery and I keep
telling them, no."

Nick was confused. "Why?" he asked, "They can come and stay here or
my father's house. It's really not a problem, Joanne."

"I just can't handle that right now. I already feel…trapped and
guilty enough. I'm not ready for them to come here." She paused
for a moment trying to collect and make sense of her thoughts. "To
tell you the truth, if I had a choice, I'd prefer to go somewhere
where I didn't know anyone, so I could deal with this by myself. I
hate having to rely on people to help me; I don't want to be a
burden to you or Burton or my parents. Besides, it's better this
way. I'll have the surgery and call them when it's over."

Nick leaned forward in the chair and rested his elbows on his knees,
remembering his foster child, Leslie, sharing with him how
disgusting if felt, to be a burden to people, "You're sure that's
what you want?"

"Yeah," she replied, "it's better this way," she repeated, like she
was trying to convince herself.

The clock in the living room chimed and Joanne looked up. "I'd
better get to bed." She walked past Nick and grazed her hand across
his shoulder on her way by. "See you in the morning, Nicholas," she
said sadly.

"Yeah," Nick whispered as he watched her slowly climb the stairs.
He sank back into the chair and laced his fingers in front of him.
He was worried for her. He knew that she would have to depend on
him and others, but he knew her instincts would fight him all the
way. He was glad that she had decided to stay with him for a while
at least until she recovered from the surgery. Chemotherapy would
be a whole new challenge.

~ * ~

It was a little after one o'clock in the morning and Joanne hadn't
slept a wink. All she could think about was the operation. She was
worried about her parents, afraid that if she died, her parents
would think she had abandoned them, having choosing the Fallins over
them. The thought of her family watching over her like a living
corpse made her stomach churn. What if she died, not having had the
time to know Burton better. He was her father and didn't know
anything about him. And then there was Nick. She had only known
him for a few days, but she loved him and needed to know everything
about him. Her hands felt clammy and face felt hot. Panic began
to overtake her. Throwing off the cover abruptly, she went in
search of Nick.

She ran quickly down the hall and knocked on his bedroom
door. "Nick? Nick! I need to talk to you." There was no answer.

Nick was downstairs in the den working at his desk when he heard
Joanne's footsteps moving quickly above him. He got up from the
desk and went to the stairs. He could hear her calling.

"Joanne, I'm down here. What's the matter?"

Hearing Nick's voice behind her, she ran down the hall and quickly
descended the stairs.

"You're up, good. I need to talk to you. I need to know some
things," she rattled on.

Nick was looking at her strangely. "Hold on, calm down. Whatever it
is can wait until tomorrow. You should be sleeping, you need to be
rested for tomorrow."

Joanne was speed talking, "No! It can't wait, and I can't sleep
anyway. I need you to tell me everything about you now. Like right
now." Joanne realized that she sounded ridiculous.

Nick chuckled, "Right now? That could take a while."

Joanne was not amused. She covered her face with her hands and
massaged her forehead with her fingers. Her head was aching with
all the questions she had for him.

"Don't make fun, Nick. I know I'm losing it here, but I don't want
to die tomorrow not knowing anything about you."

Nick breath caught in his throat, he didn't realize the extent of
her anxiety until now.

"Hey!" he said sharply, "you're not going to die tomorrow, so stop
talking like that." He took her by the elbow and led her into the
living room. "Come here. Sit down."

Joanne sat in the corner of the sofa and wrapped her arms around her
knees holding them to her chest.

Nick tried to calm her and reel her in from the proverbial ledge she
was standing on. "Look, I know a lot has happened over the past
couple of days, but everything is going to work out. You're going to
have to trust me on that."

"I may not have time for that. I need to know now."

Nick took a deep breath, and sat next to her on the sofa. "Ok, what
is it that you need to know now that can't wait until tomorrow?"

"I need to know lots of things. Like why did our parents get
divorced? And why didn't Burton get married again? And what about
LSP, why haven't you told me about that yet? I don't event know
your favorite color, or what you like to do for fun."

Nick just shook his head. He didn't really have the answers she was
looking for.

"I don't know, Joanne."

"You don't know what?"

"I don't really know all the reasons why they got divorced. I know
that my Dad working all time. He was hardly ever around and mom got…
lonely, I guess. He came back though. When mom got sick, he moved
back in and helped take care of us. I know he still loved her
then , but…" Nick voice trailed off. He was clearly reliving the
experience.

"But what?" she inquired further.

"After she died…I was twelve…he sent me away to boarding school. I
hated him for that. I think part of me still does."

"Why? Why would he do that?"

"I think he thought it was the best thing for me. Get me away from
the house; be with kids my own age. Get a good education. He
didn't know how to take care of me by himself, may mother always did
that stuff. We were… we were very close."

"Is that what you wanted?"

"No. I just wanted to stay home…sleep in my own room, play with my
friends. No body ever asked me what I wanted."

"Is that why you work at LSP?"

"Uh…No." Nick didn't want to get into that, but he didn't really
have a choice. She would find out sooner or later and he should be
the one to tell her. He turned to face her, resting his elbow on
the back of the sofa with his head in his palm. "It's a sentence…I
made a mistake. I got into some…behavior, something stupid and I'm
paying for it."

There was a long pause while Joanne put the pieces together in her
head. "Drugs?" she asked shyly, a bit taken aback, "Probation?"

Looking away from her embarrassed, he whispered. "Yeah."

"Let me guess, cocaine?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

"It's the drug of choice for a lot of lawyers. Did that start when
you worked at Swann & Cranston?"

"No, I had a head start, but I suppose it became more frequent when
I was there."

"You know, after law school when I was interviewing, I went to Swann
& Cranston and they offered me a job, but, I don't know, I got a bad
feeling. A lot of their associates looked burned out and the
competition there…well, you could tell…the pressure must have been
intense."

Nick didn't answer her. His mind was trying to catch up on the fact
that she hadn't passed judgment on him. Although she was surprised,
she was the first person who didn't look at him like he was
hypocrite. She just accepted it and moved on.

"Anyway, this probation, how much longer do you have?"

"It's gonna be a while…it's a total of 1500 hours. I've been doing
it for two years now."

"When it's over, do you think you'll continue…volunteer there?"

Nick scoffed and shook his head, "No," he answered quickly.

Joanne smiled, "Yes, you will. Once it's in your blood, you can't
get it out."

They both sat quietly for a minute.

"So how come you didn't tell me this before?" Joanne asked.

"I don't know, you had enough to deal with, I guess. You didn't
need to know that your brother was a cokehead, too."

"Well, you're not one anymore. That's what counts. Besides, we've
all had scrapes, right?"

"Have we?" Nick asked wonder what she could be hiding.

Joanne didn't take the bait. Leaning her head on the pillow she
covered her mouth with one hand as she yawned. She closed her eyes
momentarily and then changed the subject.

"Why didn't Burton ever remarry?"

"He dates, but I guess he never found anyone he loved as much as
Mom."

"Huh, well…I wish I had the chance to meet her. She sounds special."

"She was," Nick reflected.

He could see Joanne's eyelids getting heavy. He got up and stood in
front of her. "Come on, that's enough for tonight. You really need
to rest. We have to get up in a couple of hours." Nick stuck out
both of his hands and Joanne took them in hers. He hoisted her to
her feet and together they walked to the stairs. "Go ahead up.
I'll be right behind you."

"Thanks, Nick."

"For what?" he asked.

"Talking, listening…helping me." she remarked.

Nick nodded and waited at the bottom of the stairs as she walked up.

Nick called after her, "Joanne."

She stopped and turned around, "yeah?"

"It's blue."

"What?" she asked

"My favorite color…it's blue."

Joanne grinned, "huh, me too."
 
--+--
 
Last night Nick and Joanne sat together on the couch and talked,
really talked, about some of the hard stuff they had both been
avoiding. And although they had so many more things to discover
about each other, they had made a good start. Nick was honest about
his drug problem and probation and Joanne was beginning to
understand the distanced and awkward relationship between Nick and
Burton. She hoped that in time they would mend their broken family.

The night passed in a blink of an eye. Joanne felt like she had
closed her eyes only moments before the alarm clock rang her from
sleep. She stretched her aching body and yawned, then pulled the
covers up over her head, inwardly begging for ten more minutes,
hoping to avoid the inevitable. Eventually, she dragged herself out
of bed and made her way across the hall to the bathroom. She
noticed Nick's bedroom door was closed and she assumed he was still
asleep. In the shower, Joanne braced her hands against the cold tile
to stabilize her weak body. She closed her eyes as steaming hot
water poured over her body and drenched her hair. The warmth of the
water and steam relaxed her tense and aching muscles, allowing her
to mentally prepare for what was ahead. It was important to her to
try and remain strong. She didn't want Nick and Burton to see how
afraid she was. Taking in a few deep breaths, she calmed and
reminded herself of her deep faith and took solace in the thought
that a God would not have brought this family together, only to tear
them apart.

She dressed in her favorite Yankees t-shirt, a small reminder of her
home and family in New York, navy blue jogging pants, and sneakers.
She packed a small duffle bag with her bathrobe, slippers, and her
journal. Lately she had relied heavily on putting her thoughts down
on paper and sorting out the many conflicting feelings she was
experiencing.

Joanne quietly descended the stairs in an effort not to wake Nick,
and placed her bag by the door. She took her insurance card, birth
certificate, and license out of her purse, and took a legal-sized
manila envelope from her briefcase and left them on the table in the
foyer. Joanne was list maker and task manager, it help her to keep
her mind busy with details as opposed to allowing herself too much
time to think about her situation.

After a restless nights sleep, Nick had awakened early. He was
dressed in jeans and a gray, Harvard t-shirt. Knowing he would not
leave the hospital until Joanne was in recovery, he opted for
comfort with the long day ahead.

While collecting files from his desk in the den, he tried hard not
to think about all the things he could have told Joanne. All night
he thought about the conversation he and Joanne had and regretted
not sharing more about their mother with her. It wasn't a conscious
decision to avoid talking about Anne, but it wasn't' a topic he was
accustomed to discussing.

Nick knew she was curious, how could she not be curious, but
thinking about his mother always brought back deep pain he was
unwilling or unable to explain. He hated the thought of watching
his sister go through cancer. He hated that he would have to see
this kind of pain and anguish again. Nick feared he would not be
strong enough for her. But most of all he hated that they had grown
up with each other. A circumstance he would never truly understand.

Joanne went to the kitchen and picked up the paper from the porch
and brought it to the den where she noticed a light was on. She
leaned against the door frame and watched quietly as Nick packed his
briefcase. She was amazed at how close they had become in only a
few days and wondered for a moment how their lives would be
different if they had grown up together. This man she watched was
her brother, her flesh and blood, and a stranger.

"Morning," she said, trying to sound cheery, but her soft voice
cracked and gave away her nervousness.

Nick's thoughts were distracted by Joanne's voice and he turned to
greet her. "Good morning."
Nick watched as Joanne stared at the floor and rolled the newspaper
in her hands. You ready to go?" he asked, hoping she would look at
him, but worried she would she through his hard exterior to the fear
he held in his heart.

"Yeah, whenever you are. I thought you might want this," she held
up the now rolled newspaper, and looked Nick in the eye, "Something
to read while you wait," she said and gave him a small closed-mouth
smile.

He smiled back, "Thanks." He didn't have to ask how she was
feeling; it was evident that her nerves were as wound as tightly as
the newspaper. "We should get going."

Joanne nodded and followed Nick to the door. Nick grabbed Joanne's
bag, and she took the envelope from the table.

The ride to the hospital was silent with the exception of the talk
radio program on Nick's car stereo. Neither of them seemed to be
listening, but it was a nice interruption of the awkward silence in
the car. The streets were virtually empty, which was change from
Nick's usual morning routine of dodging traffic and fighting for a
parking space outside of his usual favorite coffee house. It was
very early and the sun was just beginning to come up, it looked to
be a brilliant, late summer day.

Joanne closed her eyes and leaned her head against the headrest.
She took in a slow deep breath- she felt like she could have slept
for a week, and her head ached from nervous tension.

Nick glanced over at her with worry. "You OK?" he asked concernedly

She opened her eyes and turned to face him. "I'm just tired, that's
all."

Nick noticed her sad eyes and knew that she was more concerned than
she was willing to let on. He accepted her answer and quickly
changed the subject. Noticing the envelope on her lap, he
asked, "What'cha got there?"

"Uh…" Joanne looked down to the envelope, "it's just some paperwork
for the hospital and some…things I need you to hold on to."

Nick's eyes were on the road ahead. "Oh…like what?"

"Insurance card, driver's license, my birth certificate and uh," she
mumbled and looked out the window, once again feeling awkward about
the favor she will inevitably have to ask. "…my will."

Nick snapped his head towards her with a scowl on his face, not
certain if he had heard her correctly. "Your what?" He couldn't
begin to comprehend the fact that Joanne would have drawn up a
will. She was so young and despite how sick she was, he wanted to
believe her chances were good.

She looked back at Nick, his eyes now returned to the road. "You
heard me," she whispered, not able or willing to repeat herself.

Nick could not respond. He simply stared straight ahead as he tried
to wrap his mind around the possibility that he may never get the
chance to drive her home. He wondered how long she had been
thinking this way and felt bad that his memories of his mother
didn't allow him to encourage her to think more positively.

~ * ~

At the hospital, Nick pulled up in front of the admitting entrance
where they could see Burton waiting. He grabbed Joanne's bag and
his briefcase from the trunk and handed them to Burton, who greeted
them with a warm smile. "Hi sweetheart. Hey, son." Joanne smiled
back as her face warmed with embarrassment at this kind term of
endearment, and Nick nodded his hello in return. "I'll just park the
car and meet you inside," Nick advised.

"So, how are we doing this morning?" Burton asked of Joanne as the
made their way inside the hospital.

Joanne was ringing her hands together and looked a little pale. She
looked up momentarily at her father, "I'm uh…good, nervous, but
good." Although Joanne felt like a burden to both Nick and Burton,
she was glad they were with her. She needed them more than she
cared to admit.

"Yeah," he said and nodded, his heart heavy with understanding, "OK,
well, let's get you checked in." he said as if he too wanted to get
this over as soon as possible.

Burton sat with Joanne at the admitting desk. He was dressed in his
usual work attire and his hands were laced together in his lap. He
couldn't help but stared intently at his daughter, he was still
shocked at the turn of events, he was saddened by Anne's decision to
keep his daughter from him, and amazed at how much she looked like
her mother. He felt such a sense of pride and such sadness at the
same time.

The receptionist handed her several forms to fill out and asked a
plethora of questions. Joanne did her best to not sound annoyed but
it was difficult. Her heart felt as if it would leap from her chest
and she could feel her nerves begin to unravel. More than anything,
she wanted to run as far away from that hospital as her legs would
carry her. Nick returned and joined them at the admitting desk. He
stood beside Joanne with his arms crossed in front of him.
Instantly Joanne could feel her nerves begin to calm. She couldn't
explain the effect that Nick's presence had on her, but she felt
safer having him there with her. Somehow, she knew that he would
take car of her and protect her. Flanked by the Fallin men, her
confidence returned.

Moments later a male orderly arrived with a wheelchair and Joanne
scowled at him and wagged her index finger at him.

"Oh, no, I can walk," she said firmly with a sarcastic smirk and
headed toward the door on her own two feet.

"I'm sorry ma'am, it's hospital policy. You get a ride in and a ride
out," he said with a big grin.

Joanne rolled her eyes. She looked to Burton, but more towards Nick
as if he could talk his way into letting Joanne walk to her room on
her own esteem. But they were of little help. She took a deep
breath as she acquiesced to hospital policy, but not before she
pursed her lips and started muttering quietly. "This is ridiculous,
I can walk for Christ sake…I'm not an invalid…"she huffed as she
took a seat in the wheelchair.

Nick and Burton had been watching and listening to her muttering
complaints. Burton looked at Nick with raised eyebrows and a slight
smile, while Nick scratched the back of his head and tried to
contain his laughter behind a closed mouth smile. He didn't want
Joanne to think they were making fun of her. Joanne was so
independent and stubborn, that Burton was immediately reminded of
Nick and his usual demeanor. Nick knew she wouldn't be the easiest
patient this hospital had ever seen. It was just a little funny for
Nick to watch her accept assistance, especially when she didn't want
it. Taking care of her after the surgery would be a handful, he
thought. Nick carried her bag as they followed her down the hall
where they entered a private room.

"Here you go, ma'am, the Presidential suite," Bill joked. If you
need anything, just press this button over here and ask for Bill."
Bill sounded like a young man who really enjoyed his job and helping
patients feel more comfortable.

"Actually, I do need something…can you stop calling me ma'am."
Joanne got up from the wheelchair and shook Bill's hand firmly, "I'm
Joanne. If you're going to be helping me, we should be on a first
name basis, don't you think?" Bill could tell that she was the kind
of patient that would make it. She was feisty and determined. Bill
smiled back, "Yes ma'am…I mean, Joanne." Although Joanne wasn't
happy about being `driven' to her room, she liked Bill's smile and
that made her feel a little better.

Joanne looked around the room and noticed how nice it was. It was
closer to a hotel suite, a stark contrast to the clinical, stainless
steel hospital rooms she was accustomed to. She walked over to the
bedside table where a beautiful arrangement of flowers had been
waiting there. She took the card from the flowers and opened it.
Her heart caught in her throat. It read: Love, Mom and Dad. She
ignored her impulse to call them, knowing that hearing their voices
would drive her to tears. "Looks like someone pulled some strings,"
she said looking over at Burton. Burton looked her in the eye for a
moment then, embarrassed; he turned to avoid her knowing glance. He
had made arrangements with Edgar Sutoni for a private room when he
knew she would be staying in town for the surgery.

An awkward silence was broken when a nurse knocked and entered the
room.

"Hi, I'm Megan. I'm going to be to taking care of you during your
stay with us."

Megan's demeanor was comforting and polite with a bubbly
personality. She was blond with sparkling green eyes. Her hair was
cut very short and was spiky on the top. She appeared to be in her
late thirties or early forties. Even in her green scrubs you could
tell she had a flattering figure.

Joanne shook her hand and introduced Burton and Nick.

"OK, first things first, I have some more forms for you to fill
out," she said handing a clipboard to Joanne.

Joanne rolled her eyes, and shook her head. She couldn't get over
how much paperwork there was. Seeing her frustration, Nick took the
clipboard from Megan. "I'll just start filling this out."

Without further hesitation, he sat down next to the bed and took out
a pen. Filling out the forms was a small distraction for Nick and
having something to do made him feel slightly less helpless.

"You'll need to change into this," Megan handed her a hospital gown
and a cap for her hair, "…when you're finished I'll come back and
start your IV, OK? And don't worry- it will be over before you know
it," she said with a comforting smile and a pat on Joanne's hand.

Nick stood and picked up his briefcase, recognizing his cue to leave
Joanne to change. "Well, we'll let you change and we'll come back in
a minute."

In the hall, Nick leaned against the wall as Burton paced. This was
sure to be a very long day. Nick could tell that his father's
thoughts were racing as he paced. All of this was happening so
fast. None of them really had any time to absorb what had happened
over the last couple of weeks.

"Nice job with the room, Dad," he said, in and effort to distract
his father from his thoughts.

"It's not a big deal, Sutoni offered it to me. I thought it would
be nice for her to have a quiet place to recuperate while she's
here."

It was only a few moments later when Megan returned. "Is she ready?"

Nick shrugged, "I'm not sure." `I'm not sure about a lot of
things,' he thought to himself.

Megan knocked on the door and entered her room. Nick and Burton
waited to see if Joanne was ready, then quickly followed on Megan's
heels. Joanne was already in bed twirling the cap in the finger of
her right hand. Joanne noticed that both and Nick and Burton wore
worried expressions on their faces. She smiled at them in an effort
to lighten their moods trying to reassure them that she was OK, even
though she wasn't. Burton knew that she was trying to put on good
front for their sake, but her smile didn't reflect the brilliants he
had come to know. As a father, he knew his little girl was afraid
and hoped that she would take comfort that he and Nick were there
for her.

Joanne looked away and pinched her eyes closed as Megan inserted the
IV into the back of her hand. `There's no turning back now she
thought to herself.'

"All right, Joanne, you're all set. You may start to feel a little
sleepy. Dr. Carter will be in to see you in a minute and then Bill
and I will take you down to surgery.

"OK," Joanne replied nervously.

"Thank you, Megan." Burton responded and then dutifully followed her
into the hall. He wanted to be sure that Megan would do everything
in his power to make sure Joanne was comfortable and well taken care
of during her stay. He knew he would be seen as an overbearing
father, but he didn't care. Taking care of the little details was
forte, and his experience with Anne would not allow him to fail his
daughter.

Nick approached the bed with his hands in his pockets and leaned his
hip against the bed. He looked directly at his sister, and quietly
he asked, "Are you ready for this?"

Joanne's eye lids were already feeling heavy and her tense muscles
seem to instantly relax from the medication. "As ready as I'll ever
be, I suppose," she quipped, smiling shyly.

"Well, um…don't worry, everything is going to be fine, and I'll be
here…when you wake up," he said in a broken whisper as his voice
gave away the confidence he was tying to exude.

"Nick…I need you to do me a favor," she said, lifting her head to
look her brother in the eye.

"Sure," he said confidently. "What is it?"

Joanne replied sheepishly, "My will…I need you be the Executor."

Nick stood up from the bed and crossed his arms in front of his
chest. He bowed his head and stared at the floor, unable to make
eye contact with her. This was not a subject he wanted to broche.
He wanted to remain focused on her beating the cancer and not allow
his memories of his mother to cloud his ability to love and support
his sister.

Nick proceeded nervously, "Joanne, I…ah…don't worry about that…." he
said, trying to dismiss the topic

Joanne interrupted him in an effort to keep him from changing the
subject, "It's already been taken care of, and I wrote it myself.
It covers everything like…you know… what to do if I die, or if I'm
declared brain- dead or…whatever." She paused, "Nick, please. I need
you to do this for me. I don't want my parents forced to make
decision they won't want to make. They're devoutly religious and if
a decision regarding life support came up, well… it just goes
against their faith. I don't think they'd be strong enough to do
what I want." After a short pause, she pleaded. "Promise me you'll
sign it…please"

Nick didn't have to read the will to know what she was talking
about. Although this conversation was making him very
uncomfortable, he could tell how much it meant to her and he nodded
in agreement. He took the envelope from the bedside table and
tucked it into his briefcase. "I'll take care of it, I promise."

Dr. Carter entered the room with a smile and shook hands with Nick
and Joanne.

"Morning, Nick," Dr. Carter said clearly before his eyes locked with
his patient's. A confident smile took control of his lips, Joanne,
how ya doing'?"

"I'm ready to get this over with," she said, trying to smile through
her fear.

Dr. Carter read through the forms on the clipboard and flipped a few
pages on her chart. "OK, do you have any question before we take you
down?" Dr. Carter asked as he adjusted the drip on her IV. The Dr.
inconspicuously noticed how Nick was acutely aware of everything
happening around his sister, and sensed that his patient would be
well taken care of during recovery.

Joanne was getting anxious, "No. I'm ready to go," she said
impatiently. She just wanted it all to be over.

"How long do you expect the surgery to take?" Nick asked as he
checked his watch for the time.

"We should be in and out of there in about two, two and-a-half hours
tops." Dr. Carter turned backed to face Joanne. "All right I'll see
you in there." And with a determined and commanding stride, he was
out the door.

Burton reappeared inside the room with Megan and Bill. They
unhooked the IV from its pole, covered her hair with the cap and
lowered the bed to a flat position. Burton approached the bed, took
her hand in his, and kissed her forehead. "See you in a little
bit," he said with a reassuring nod, and patted her hand. Burton's
affections toward his daughter brought Nick immediate back to the
day before his mother's death. He would have sworn his father's
words had been exactly the same back then.

They started to wheel her out of the room when Nick saw Joanne's
hand poke through the bed railing. Instinctively, he reached out
and took it, squeezing it firmly while they walked her to the end of
the hall. It was all he could do, but he wanted to do more.

"I'm sorry, gentlemen, this is as far as you can go," Megan said
softly, clearly moved by this heartening display. "We'll take good
care of her, don't you worry," Bill added, although he was certain
that no words would suffice at a moment like this.

Nick gave Joanne one last look and squeezed her hand tightly before
letting go. Joanne glanced back and smiled at him before Megan and
Bill pushed her through the swinging double doors. Nick stood with
his arms folded in front of him and watched through the window until
she was completely out of sight.

Turning to face his father, Nick wondered if he shared the same
anxiety that he was feeling. He wondered if he would ever see her
again. Nick had a sickening feeling that his experience with Lesley
was happening all over again.

Breaking the awkward silence between them, Burton cleared his throat
and spoke up,
"Well son, now we wait. I'm going to find some coffee, do you want
some?"

"Yeah, please," Nick replied quickly, although he was unsure his
stomach could handle the coffee at a time like this.

After Burton disappeared down the corridor, Nick returned to
Joanne's room and grabbed his briefcase.

Nick slowly headed back to the waiting room outside the surgical
ward and found himself a seat. He was relieved that not too many
people were there, surrounding him with unsolicited conversations.
He wasn't in the mood.

Nick took out the envelope from his briefcase and opened the clasp,
his heart pounding nervously as he emptied the contents into his
lap. He found her birth certificate, driver's license, insurance
card, and her will. Her will was several pages long and behind it
were supplemental documents. She had left no stone unturned and Nick
smiled to himself at how thorough she was- a trait he would
definitely attribute to being a true Fallin. He put everything back
in the envelope with the exception of her will, intending to keep
his promise to his sister. He leaned back and crossed his right
ankle over his left knee. As he placed the will in his lap, he
noticed a post-it note on the bottom of the page. On it, Joanne had
written her parents' phone number. He tore it off and stuck it to
the inside of briefcase. He would call her parents as soon as she
got out of surgery to inform them of her condition.

The will was fairly standard. It contained a list of her assets and
liabilities. She had specifically instructed that the sale of
stocks were to be donated and split equally among three charities.
Two had been filled in and the third line was left blank, with a
note asking Nick to choose the third charity. She had written in
pencil: LSP? Nick shook his head in amusement. `Must have been
Lulu's influence,' he mused. With his pen, he filled in "Legal
Services of Pittsburgh" and initialed the change.

By this time Burton had returned with the coffee and took a seat
next to his son.

"What are you working on?" he inquired. Burton wasn't the least bit
surprised that Nick would bring something to occupy his time.

Nick look up quickly at his father and back down at the paper in
front of him. "Joanne gave it to me. It's her will."

Burton's eyes popped open wide, he was caught off guard and it
frightened him in a way that made him very uncomfortable. The
possibility of her dying so young and so soon after she had found
them, did not sit well with him. A parent should never have to
burry their child. Burton could not wrap his mind around the
thought of losing his daughter. His heart ached at the thought of
not having the opportunity to really get to know her.

"Dad? You all right?" Nick said, concernedly, noticing his fathers'
transfixed expression.

Burton rubbed his hand over his mouth, still stunned. "Yeah, it's
just…I wasn't expecting to hear that."

"Well, I'll need you to sign as a witness, after I've reviewed and
signed it," Nick replied coolly, as if it were any normal contract
brought to them during the course of the day.

"She declared you Executor?" he asked a little surprised and
slightly hurt. It was evident that Joanne and Nick had bonded and
established a rapport that was significantly more advanced than with
Burton.
"Yeah, she didn't want her parents…" Nick stopped, "…the Giovanni's,
to have to deal with it."

`Her Parents'…Burton repeated to himself, jolting his heavy heart.
He sat on the couch across from Nick, thinking about her…about them…
about the life they all could've had.

Some time had passed, but nothing more was said. Burton checked his
watch and studied Nick as he perused the will.

Nick furrowed his brow as he read through Joanne's notes regarding
her medical care. They were very specific. It was clear that she
did not want anyone to make critical decisions for her. She had
decided that in the event she was declared brain-dead, she should
only be kept on life support long enough to harvest viable organs
for donation. It would be difficult for Nick to carry out Joanne's
wishes in the event of her death, but he understood and respected
them. He had made a promise to her and he intended on keeping it.
He felt he owed her that much, and she trusted him to carry out her
wishes.

Nick learned from the paperwork on the restaurant that Joanne was an
instrumental part of the expansion and running the entertainment
portion of the nightclub. There was still so much about his sister
that he didn't know, but hoped he would have the chance to learn.
She willed her photo albums and an infant charm bracelet to Burton.
Nick admired her for her perseverance. It was clear that Joanne had
hoped he would come to know the child in her he never had a chance
to meet. For Nicholas, she left her most prized possessions: her
roadster, her antique camera collection, and a series of photographs
she had taken over the years.

There was also a provision for Nick's future children. Any money
left after the expenses of her funeral and liabilities, which were
minimal, would be transferred into a trust for their education.

Nick was moved by her generosity, but hoped that his children would
have their Aunt to know and love in person, and not for the legacy
she may leave behind. He sat forward, placing the will on the coffee
table in front of him, rested his elbows on his knees and closed his
eyes for a moment. He needed to take a breath as he absorbed the
responsibilities Joanne had given him. He hoped he would not have
to carry them out. Burton let out a sigh as he watched Nick sign the
will. Burton took the will from the table and read through it
quietly, before signing it.

~ * ~

Nick checked his watch for the third time since Joanne was wheeled
into the surgical ward. More than two hours had passed and Nick was
getting concerned. He could hear Dr. Carter's words in his head, "…
two, two-and-half hours tops." Dr. Carted had been so confident
about the time frame. He checked his watch again and began to pace,
one hand deep in his pocket and the other smoothing the hair on the
back of his bowed head. Burton was sure he would wear a permanent
path in the floor between the waiting area and the vending
machines. He cautiously glanced at Nick over the rims of his glass
as his skimmed and article in a business magazine.

"Nick, you should sit down, try to relax," his father
insisted. "These things always take longer than expected."

Nick felt exhausted and unreceptive to his father's opinion. He was
about to snap back at him when he saw Lulu bound around the corner.

"Lulu, what are doing here?" Nick barked, turning a few heads in
the sparsely populated waiting room.

Startled by his accusatory, harsh tone, Lulu took a step back,
wondering if she had made a mistake. Hesitant, she bit down
nervously on her bottom lip, "…ah, I came to see how Joanne is doing
and if you needed anything?"

Nick took a breath and calmed himself, feeling the stares of the
onlookers as he realized what he had done. Embarrassed by the
outburst, he folded his arms in front of him and shook his bowed
head. He couldn't bear to look Lulu in the eyes as he
spoke. "Sorry, I uh…I don't know anything. It should have been over
by now, but the doctor hasn't come out yet." He sputtered weakly.

"Oh…" Lulu sighed softly, her dark eyes conveying to him a sympathy
that she couldn't possibly express with words. Not knowing what
else she could do for him, she gently brushed his shoulder with her
hand to capture his attention. His saddened gaze fell heavily upon
her as she forced herself to smile, "well can I get you anything…
coffee, something to eat maybe?"

Nick shook his head, "No, I'm fine, Lulu, really."

Lulu knew he wasn't fine, the cracking of his raspy voice betrayed
his normally confident tone, but nothing would have made Nick feel
better. She looked over and saw Burton sitting in the waiting
area. Leaving Nick behind she took a seat next to Burton, giving
Nick some much needed space.

"How are you doing, Burton?" she asked empathetically.

"I'm fine, Louisa, thanks for coming…" Burton answered quietly, "I
know Nick won't come right out and say it, but I know he's glad
you're here," he flashed a pained smile as he glanced over at his
son. Burton liked Lulu, she had the ability to make his son crazy
at times, but for the most part she kept him grounded. He could
tell by the way his son looked at her that she was the first woman
Nick ever showed any real affection for, and Burton sensed it may be
the real thing.

This time Burton checked his watch. Three hours and fifteen
minutes. Burton was becoming alarmed too. He sat forward and
rested his elbows on his knees as he placed his head in his hands.
Silently he prayed. Nick continued to pace while Lulu leafed
through a magazine.

Finally, Nick couldn't take it anymore. "I'm going to try to find
someone who can tell me what the hell is going on," he stammered.

Nick stormed up the nurse's station outside of the surgical ward.
There were three nurses there all of whom were busy. Two of them
were on the phone and the other searched through stacks of patient
files.

"Excuse me," he said, leaning on the tall counter, addressing the
nurse with the files. "My sister is being operated on by Dr. Carter
and I need someone to tell me why it's taking so long." Nick became
a little more agitated and pointedly tapped his fingers on the
counter. "He told us it would only be…" he added in a very
determined tone.

The nurse cut him off, "I'm sorry sir, I understand your concern,
but sometimes these things take longer than expected."

Nick threw his hands up in frustration, and walked away. He stood a
few steps away from the desk and placed his hands on his hips, and
then scratched the back of his head pensively. The nurse watched
him momentarily. She could almost feel his anguish; the concern on
his face was evident. Feeling badly for him, she checked the
surgical board and looked up Dr. Carter's schedule.

"Sir…if you wait here, I'll see what I can find out," she said
sympathetically.

Nick nodded his appreciation and waited in front of the desk as the
nurse disappeared behind the double doors. Both Burton and Lulu have
been paying close attention and remain seated with their eyes fixed
on Nick.

Several minutes later the nurse returned and approached Nick.
Burton stood as he saw Nick's head fall forward. Burton moved
quickly toward Nick and Lulu followed behind. The nurse placed her
hand reassuringly on Nick's arm.

"Nicholas? What's happened?" Burton's heart pounded as he waited
for his son to respond.

Nick turned to face his father. "There's been a complication, Dad"

"Oh God, is she going to be OK?" Burton asked without hesitation.

"Mr…?" the nurse inquired.

"Fallin, Burton Fallin, I'm her father." he replied.

"Mr. Fallin, my name is Natalie and I've just spoken briefly with
Dr. Carter. He told me to tell you he will be out momentarily to
speak with you. Your daughter is being brought into post-op, from
there they will take her to ICU. They will need to monitor her over
the next couple of days. She's had a difficult time of it, but
she's holding her own now and that's a good sign."

"I don't understand! What happened?" Burton demanded forcefully.

Dr. Carter appeared in the waiting room, his scrubs soaked with
sweat. Judging by the melancholic expression on his face, Lulu knew
there was ample cause for concern.


Wiping his brow, Dr. Carter approached them, "Mr. Fallin, your
daughter hemorrhaged during the operation. She lost a significant
amount of blood, but we were able to transfuse her and she's stable
right now."

"Well what would make that happen?" Nick asked coldly, as if her
were ready to place blame on Dr. Carter.

"Joanne had a cyst that was obscured by the cancer. When we removed
the mass, the cyst burst, causing her to hemorrhage. It took a
while, but we managed to stop the bleeding and remove the infected
ovary. I took samples from her lymph nodes surrounding the area.
We'll have the results in a couple of days. We'll have to watch
her closely over the next 24-48 hours," He advised them.

Burton rubbed his hand over his mouth. His watery eyes were alert
with worry. He wanted to see his daughter, but he couldn't bring
himself to speak.

Dr. Carter tried his best to console him. "Mr. Fallin, Joanne is a
strong girl. The fact that she is still with us is a good sign, and
I promise you, we're going to do everything we can to help her.

Burton finally broke his shock-imposed silence. "See that you do,"
he said curtly with a cold stare.

"I want to see her," Nick demanded.

Dr. Carter shook his head. "I'm sorry Nick she's in post-op right
now. It'll be a couple of hours before they bring her up to ICU."

Not willing to accept "No" for an answer, Nick smirked and reached
for his cell phone. He effortlessly dialed Sutoni's
number. "Edgar, Nick Fallin. My sister is in post-op and my father
and I need to see her now. OK, thanks." Nick hung up the phone and
looked directly at Dr. Carter. "He'll be right down."

Lulu watched inquisitively as Nick challenged the doctor's authority
and wondered if he was this aggressive after her accident.

Dr. Carter shook his head at Nick's audacity, but was
undeterred, "she needs her rest, Nick. She isn't even conscious and
may not be for several hours..."

Edgar entered the waiting room. He and Burton shook hands and
exchanged a few words before he pulled Dr. Carter aside.

Nick, Burton and Lulu could hear Dr. Carter advocating heartedly for
his patient and at the same time trying to keep the tone of
agitation out of his voice. "She needs her rest…no, no I disagree,
this is highly unusual…"

Lulu quietly flanked Nick side, but did not try to engage him, as he
concentrated on the exchange between Dr. Carter and Edgar Sutoni.

Edgar quietly reminded Dr. Carter that as long as he enjoyed his
privileges at Pittsburgh County he would do what he was told.

After a few more moments of negotiating the conditions of their
visit Dr. Carter looked towards Nick and waved him over.

"This goes against my better judgment, but you can have five minutes
with her." Dr. Carter reemphasized again, "I mean it. Five minutes.
That's it! Both of you go with Natalie, you need a surgical gown and
a mask. I'll meet you outside of her room," his disapproval was
evident in his scolding tone.

Nick turned to Lulu and looked her in the eye, but before he could
speak, Lulu interrupted, encouragingly, "Go… I'll be here when you
get back,"

Burton and Nick quickly donned their sterile attire and met Dr.
Carter outside of the recovery room.

"She still hasn't regained consciousness, but her vitals all look
good. I should warn you, she is still intubated and her coloring is
a little off," he cautioned, hoping to prepared them for what they
saw.

Nick ignored his warnings and walked around the doctor and into
Joanne's room followed closely by Burton and Dr. Carter. Nick
gasped behind his mask as he approached her bedside. He was struck
by how pale she was. Her lips looked blue against her ash-white
skin and her body shook underneath the sheets.

"Why is she convulsing?" Nick demanded, terrified by the condition
he found his sister to be in.

"She's shivering, Mr. Fallin. It's a common reaction to
anesthesia. It will subside shortly," Dr Carter said.

"Well can't you get her another blanket? She must be freezing! Look
at her, her lips and fingernails, they're blue!" he said through
clenched teeth, trying not to raise his voice.

Burton rested his left hand on the bed railings and the other on his
daughter's forehead. Oblivious to his son's complaints, Burton just
stared down at her, willing her to open her eyes.

Dr. Carter stood at the end of Joanne's bed with arms folded. He
was irritated that Nick was calling his treatment into question, but
was cognizant of the emotional stress they were under. He kept his
tone even and calm. "I assure you, Mr. Fallin, her temperature is
fine, it just a matter of getting the anesthesia out of her system."
Dr. Carter approached him slowly, "now please," he insisted, "you
really should go, she needs her rest. We won't move her from here
until she regains consciousness and remains in stable condition,
then we'll bring her up to ICU. You can visit her there on a more
regular basis."

Burton's eyes glazed with tears. His heart ached with worry. This
was not the vibrant young woman he had come to know and love in such
a short time. He lifted her hand gently from the bed and touched it
momentarily to his lips and placed it back on the bed.

Nick watched as his father rested the palm of his right hand lightly
on the top of Joanne's head and rubbed his thumb softly over her
forehead. He was surprised at how gentle his father's hands could
be. Nick had only known them to be hard and strong.

After a moment, Burton leaned his tall frame over her and kissed her
cheek through his mask. "Get well, sweetheart," her whispered.
With one last glance at her, he left the room as a tear escaped the
corner of his eye.

Nicholas approached the bed and watched her intently for any signs
of consciousness, but was disappointed. He noticed that she was
beginning to shiver less than before and took comfort from it. Nick
sensed someone approaching behind him and he turned slightly. It
was Megan.

"You can touch her, you know, it's OK. Let her know you're here,"
she encouraged him.

"I know," he responded with hesitation. It was Joanne who usually
broke that invisible barrier between them.

Megan moved to the other side of the bed, adjusting IV bags and
beeping monitors while writing in her chart. A few seconds passed.

"She is going to all right, isn't she?" he asked her.

"She's doing very well, considering what she's been though, Nick."
She had a difficult time of it, and she's weak, but trust me, after
she's had some time to rest and recover, her color will come back
and she'll be rolling her eyes at you in no time."

Nick gave her a small smile, just barely visible from underneath his
mask. Nick inserted two fingers into Joanne's curled hand and
whispered in her ear. "I'm here." Almost instantly he could feel a
slight grip take hold of his fingers and he looked down at their
hands. "Did you see that?" he asked Megan in a surprised tone, "she
squeezed my fingers. Look!"

Megan looked over to see Joanne's tightly clenched hand on his
fingers. "She knows you're here, Nick." He squeezed her hand
tenderly in return and waited until he could no longer feel her grip
around his fingers, before Megan ushered him out of the room.

Nick shed his mask and gown and headed for the waiting room,
relieved to find Lulu still waiting there. "How is she? Your
father looked upset; he said he was going outside for a smoke."

"She's not fully awake yet, but I think she's going to be fine," he
replied optimistically.

Trying to make the best out of what little he had given her, Lulu
forced herself to smile, "That's great news, Nick! You must be very
relieved."

Nick slowly rubbed his fingers over his mouth "Yeah, well, I'll be
more relived when she comes home," he said flatly. Nick was not
ready to share his grief with Lulu and didn't want her to waist her
time keeping vigil with him all night. "You should go back to work,
Lulu. I'm going to stay here tonight."

"Oh, OK. Isn't there anything I can do?" Lulu said, a little more
than disappointed by his dismissal.

Nick shook his head, remorsefully, He felt badly that he continued
to reject Lulu's attempts to comfort him, but he was just not
capable of those emotions right now. "No thanks, but, thank you for
coming." He removed his hands from his pockets, placed them on
Lulu's arms, and kissed her affectionately on the lips. "I'll call
you later," he said sincerely. Nick's kiss made Lulu feel more at
ease, knowing that his love for her was not lost, but it was clearly
evident that he was unable to control his overwhelming worry for his
sister. He had all that he could manage at one time.

Nick's eyes expressed what his mouth could not verbalize, but oddly
enough Lulu understood and kindly acquiesced to his request.

~ * ~

It was very late in the afternoon before Joanne regained
consciousness long enough to be extubated It was several hours
after that before she became stable enough to be moved to the ICU.
Nick and Burton were allowed to visit every hour, on the hour, for
fifteen minutes. They agreed that they should take shifts between
the hospital and the office, and Nick decided he would stay the
night. Burton would get back to the office and wrap up the day,
then return to the hospital the following morning.

Lulu had returned to LSP and worked late. When her stomach growled
she packed up her things and stopped to pick up dinner. She figured
she'd sit with Nick and keep him company instead of going home
alone. She knew that Nick's concentration on Joanne was a huge
distraction from their relationship, and although she felt slightly
neglected she could understand his lack of attention to her, given
the severity of the circumstances.

It was almost eight o'clock when she arrived with brown bag in
hand. Lulu found Nick waiting in chairs with his elbows planted on
his knees, fingers laced together and his head hung low. Quietly,
Lulu set the bag on the table and sat down next to Nick. She gently
placed her hand on his back and rubbed soothing circles between his
shoulder blades. It took a few moments before he allowed himself to
looked at her.

"Hi, I didn't expect to see you tonight," he whispered.

Lulu's head dropped as she quietly spoke, "I know, but…I wanted to
be with you."

Nick gave her the slightest smile, when she looked back up at him.
Feeling more welcomed than the greeting she had received in the
afternoon, Lulu relaxed. "I brought you something to eat, are you
hungry?" she asked.

"Yeah, thanks," he said, relieved that Lulu wasn't angry with him
for his behavior earlier that day and grateful to have her company.

Lulu removed a large Greek Salad and two sandwiches from the
bag, "So, is Joanne doing better."

"Yeah, Megan said she was awake for a few minutes, but by the time I
got to her room she was out again." Nick replied, disappointed with
himself for having missed it.

"Megan?" she repeated, not recognizing the name.

"She's Joanne's nurse. She's been here since this morning, taking
care of her. I think Edgar assigned her to Joanne as long as she's
here. She's been really helpful." Nick added, seemingly comforted
that the same person would be looking after his sister.

"Have you called her parents yet?

"Yes. I spoke with her mother. I told her that they should come to
Pittsburgh. I know Joanne will be pissed, but, I don't know…I think…
I think it was the right thing to do," Nick's weary blue eyes looked
over to her, unconsciously searching for approval.

"Of course, Nick. You did the right thing," Lulu reassured him, in
a voice marked by genuine concern. "When are they coming?

"Tomorrow morning." He could only hope it would be soon enough.

Nick was uneasy about Joanne's parents coming to Pittsburgh and
quickly changed the rest of their dinner conversation to Lulu and
pending cases at LSP.

After dinner, Nick began pacing again. Although he was exhausted, he
didn't want to sleep, in fear that he would miss his visiting
period. He desperately wanted to be there when Joanne woke up. He
wanted to make sure she knew he was there as he promised. Finally
he sat down on the couch next to Lulu. It wasn't long before
exhaustion took him over and they both nodded off to sleep. Nick's
right elbow was firmly planted on the armrest and his head rested in
the palm of his hand. His left hand draped loosely over Lulu's
shoulders as she lay curled up on the couch, using Nick's leg for a
pillow. Nick slept fitfully as his head bobbing up and down as he
would sleep and wake himself. He thought he should tell Lulu to go
home, but in truth, he was glad she was there, comforted by her
closeness and companionship.

~ * ~
It was just after two in the morning when Megan ran to Nick and
shook him awake. "Nick…Mr. Fallin, wake up." Nick shook his head
and rubbed his eyes and Lulu sat up startled. "Joanne's awake.
She's asking for you," Megan said. "Come with me quickly, I'll take
you to her."

Nick, Lulu, and Megan jogged quickly to her room. Nick went
directly to her and pulled the chair up next to her bedside. Lulu
stood next to the door, waiting, not wanting to intrude. Megan
busied herself, checking vitals, beeping machines and IV lines.

An awkward silence filled the room as they waited for Joanne awaken
again.

"Hey," Nick whispered finally, as he gently covered her hand with
his. "Joanne…" he said, trying to arouse her. He warily raised his
head toward Megan, unnerved by the state he found his sister to be
in.

Joanne's eyelids flickered slowly, and although her vision was
blurred, she focused on the familiar voice calling her
name. "Nicholas?" she questioned in a raspy voice, barely above a
whisper. "Yes, it's me…I'm right here," he answered softly, hardly
able to contain his joy. Nick rubbed his thumb over that back of
Joanne's hand, mindful of the protruding IV, "how are you feeling?"

With her throat sore and dry from the extubation, Joanne struggled
to speak. "Nick…my parents…did you…did you call them?"

"Yes, they know you're Okay. They're coming to see you tomorrow. I
know that's not what you wanted, but …I thought…" Nick didn't
finish, he couldn't. He felt like he had betrayed his sister's
wishes, but with the surgical complications and uncertainty, he
couldn't image Rose and Primo not being with her if she had passed
away.
"O…OK," she smiled tentatively at him, "it's…OK" Joanne conceded
quietly.. She needed to see them.

Nick watched her closely and spoke in a quiet breathy whisper. "You
gave us all a scare, you know."

"All?" her voice barely squeaked out, wondering who "all" would
consist of.

"Yeah. Me, Dad…," he looked up to find Lulu still standing by the
door. He stretched out his hand to encourage Lulu to come closer to
the bed, "…and Lulu too. We've all been worried about you."

Lulu finally came into focus, standing next to Nick, "Hey, Lulu,"
she breathed

Joanne battled her wariness to keep her eyes open and focused on
Nick "Where's Dad?"

"I told him to go home. We had no idea when you'd wake up so…I sent
him home. He'll be here first thing in the morning, though." Nick
replied. He held her hand a little more tightly than before, in an
effort to reassure her of their father's return. "OK," Joanne began
to fade with her simple response.

Joanne gripped Nick's hand tightly and squeezed as she took in a
sharp breath and winced in reaction to the pain.

Instantly alarmed, "what's wrong?!" Nick asked anxiously and looked
to Megan for help. Lulu quickly jump out of the way.

"It's…burning…painful," she whispered almost inaudibly, beads of
sweat began to form on her brow.

Megan intervened, "What is it sweetie?" she asked as she quickly
checked the monitors and started to take new vital readings of her
patient.

"It…it hurts…" was all Joanne could manage to get out.

"Mr. Fallin your going to have to leave now, we need to get her pain
management under control and you should really let her go back to
sleep. You can see her again in the morning."

Nick nodded to Megan indicating that he understood, but he couldn't
easily extricate his hand from Joanne's grasp. Nick lean over her
and whispered in her ear. "It's Ok...you're Ok. Megan is going to
take care of you. His soothing voice was beginning to take its
desired effect. Tell Megan to call me if you need anything, OK?
Anything at all. I'll see you soon."

Joanne's grasp began to relax and her weighted eyelids closed as she
mumbled her reply, "…bye, Nick," once again she was out before they
could leave the room.

~ * ~

In the hall outside of Joanne's room, Nick took a deep breath as he
look skyward. He felt a huge weight had been lifted from his
shoulders, having had the opportunity to finally talk to Joanne.
Although he was deeply concerned about her being in pain, he knew
that was one thing that could be controlled. He hoped that the worst
was over.

Nick took Lulu by hand and led her down the hallway to the waiting
area. But before she could sit down he turned her to face him,
clasping his hands over hers and holding them to his chest. Lulu
looked up into Nick's eyes and silently waited to hear what was
clearly weighing on his mind.

"Lulu, I…thank you. Thank you for being here with me today…and over
the last few weeks." He stared down at her small fingers between his
hands, knowing he would be able to continue if he looked her in the
eye. "I…I know I don't say that enough, but…I, I mean it…and…" he
took another deep breath, "…I'm sorry, if I've been a jerk." Lulu's
big eyes gazed up a Nick as he stumbled over his words. She thought
her heart would burst as is swelled with love inside of her. This
was the man she knew, the man she loved.

When Nick finally stopped, Lulu didn't know exactly how to respond.
She stared up at him as she took in all he had said. She was
flabbergasted by his heartfelt apology. After a moment she
stretched up on her toes, extended her neck to kiss Nick gently on
his lips. She freed her hands from Nick's and wrapped her arms
around his neck. Nick hugged her tightly in return and let out pent
up sigh of relief into Lulu's hair. He squeezed his eyes shut,
thankful that she had stuck by him. He need her, more so than he
wanted to admit.

To be continued…maybe.