Following the Bliss  (In Your Care part II) 

Author: Lambertoise

Email: jmlsi@sympatico.ca

Rating: PG

Summary: Sequel to In Your Care

Context: This episode in Nick's life follows the events described in In Your 
Care. All the characters are taken from The Guardian. And, don’t forget, the F&F 
beating never happened.

My gratitude to my own guardian angel, Sarah, once again.

********************************************************************

That night, Nick and Lulu were lying in their bed. They just made love, and both 
were silent, dazed by the happiness that comes from good sex mixed with love. 
The window was open. They could hear sounds coming from the quiet neighbourhood. 
These first days of April felt like summer. In Northern countries, where the 
winters are always too cold and too long, people tend to be oversensitive about 
the weather and welcome the smells and colors brought by the spring with open 
windows. 

Lulu was blissfully lying in Nick’s arms, her head upon his chest, both clad 
only in his crisp cotton sheets. Was it the spring? Was it Nick’s perfume? Or 
the soft voice of Nina Simone coming from downstairs? Anyway. Lulu interrupted 
the silence: 

“Nick!” she says, picking her head up off his chest, to look at him in the eyes.

“What?” he answers, startled by the interruption of their tranquil silence.

“Let’s do something crazy!”

“Like what?” 

“Like going to Paris?” 

“Why?” 

“Why, why?” her tone betraying how disappointed she was by his reaction.

Nick, imperceptibly, tensed. But then, his thoughts went back to that Sunday 
afternoon, two months ago, in February, after he had asked Lulu to make up her 
mind, in Laurie’s kitchen. He has been so pleased to see her again, and he was 
grateful to Laurie for having got her back in Pittsburgh! After he had told Lulu 
to make her choice, he hadn’t heard from her for more than 24 hours and working 
was the only way he had found to forget about it.


*****************************************

Nick was working at his office, alone. Suddenly, he heard a noise at the door, a 
soft knock – it certainly wasn’t his father, he’d have just walked in. “Who else 
would be here?” Nick asked himself. Raising his head, he saw Lulu at his door. 

“Hey”, she said softly. 

“Hey,” Nick replied, sadly, not quite sure what to make of her unexpected visit.

“How are you?” she asked, but in the same breath knew just from looking at him 
that the week end has taken its toll on him too. 

Nick just shrugged. They said nothing, Lulu looking at him– and knowing what she 
had to say to make things right, while he looked at her. 

“I’m not good at this, but…” she stopped, seeing Nick’s face filling with 
sadness.

“What is it?” he asked alarmed by her hesitation, thinking that if she was 
there, it was to say goodbye.

“… Hum … May I come back home with you… for good?” she finally asked, though 
almost imploring. 

Stunned, shocked, Nick nodded, then he closed his eyes. He was unable to speak 
or to make a gesture. He opened his eyes where Lulu immediately saw relief. She 
went to him, running her fingers through his hair, caressing his face while 
Nick, deeply moved, put his arms around her, his head resting on her heart. She 
started kissing his hair and leaned in to kiss him softly. They stayed like that 
for a long time, his arms wrapped securely around her, her arms holding him in 
close – neither one daring to let go. Nick was thinking about that funny tshirt 
he once bought that said: Shit happens. "Yes, it does, but this, this moment, I 
will cherish for the rest of my life." he thought to himself.

Since that day, they were living together. Bit by bit, Nick’s house was becoming 
their home. Especially with all the knick knacks Lulu brought with her. She 
couldn’t help it; she didn’t know how to throw things away! Nick, accustomed to 
his perfectly clean house, had a few difficulties not throwing some of the stuff 
away himself. He had to put his foot down many times: he said no to the dog she 
wanted to get, no to the cat, no to the canary but agreed on the aquarium.

Lulu had a lot of free time. After she told the clinic in Berkeley that she 
wouldn’t stay, she had not found anything but was not looking seriously, because 
she was thinking about what she wanted with her career and it was not so easy. 
Nick didn’t try to push, he knew that sooner or later, she would make some 
choices. Her options were good in the city and her experience was very valuable. 


Nick was surprised to see how much he enjoyed having someone to come home to. He 
never took time before to consider if his lonely life was normal or not. He was 
used to it. When Lulu was not in the garden – she had found out about the 
lilies, the tulips and the crocus before Nick, who had hired professional help 
to take care of it – she was kind of playing at being a homemaker. She didn’t 
mind the domesticity – it was a welcome change from her hectic months in 
Berkeley, and she knew that it was only temporary. Although he protested loudly 
to the idea of her staying at home and giving up her career to raise Brian’s 
brood, he rather liked the idea of her being there, maybe putting her career on 
hold while she made some decisions about her job. 

Nick also liked Lulu’s habit of humming when she was at home. Her musical tastes 
were sometimes strange, or better said, eclectic. She could listen to syrupy 
ballads and sing along with Céline Dion while vacuuming; she liked to cook with 
Spanish, Mexican or Cuban music in the background. At night, before going to 
bed, she would put one of Nick’s jazz CDs like tonight, with Nina Simone’s 
velvet voice. Definitely, jazz was a turn on for both of them!

********************************** *********

Yes, Lulu was full of surprises and this invitation to go to Paris was one of 
them.

“Why should we go to Paris?” Nick asked a second time

“Why not?”she pouted.

“Because of my probation. Because I have a lot of work… because we don’t need to 
go…” he replied, by way of explanation.

“Nick, you don’t’ go to Paris because you need to go, it is because you want to 
go…. Because April in Paris is the best… Because I don’t have a job now and you 
could take some days off for Easter… And for your probation, I’m sure we could 
work out something with your PO.” She paused to check for a look of approval on 
his face… “I mean, it’s just a matter of a few months now and there was no 
relapse. He should be open to the idea.”

“I’ll think about it” Nick whispered as he kissed her ear.

They made love again, and not another word was spoken about this trip to Paris 
before falling asleep.

The next day, Nick checked his calendar and saw that he could go without much 
trouble, especially with Easter coming, since everyone would be out of town 
anyway. He went to his father’s office.

“Dad, you have a minute?”
 
“Yes, Come in.” 

“I’d like to take a few days off for Easter and I wanted to know if that would 
be OK with you?”

“Yes, I don’t see why not, son. Do you have special plans?” Burton was happy to 
see Nick settling into a normal life. Nick was much more relaxed with him and he 
was better than ever on his job.

“Hem… I’m …Paris. We are going to Paris for a week.”

“Great. Just make sure that all your clients are taken care of.” 

“Yeah. Don’t worry.” 

Lulu went to see the probation officer to explain the situation. She emphasized 
the fact that Nick has always complied with the restrictions and that the PO 
would know exactly where they were at all times. Her pleading was so strong that 
in the end, he agreed. Nick had to report once they arrived in Paris and then as 
soon as he was back in Pittsburgh. 
A few days later, Nick and Lulu landed in Paris and went directly to the Ritz 
Carlton.

“J’ai une réservation au nom de Nicholas Fallin.” Nick spoke in French, 
apparently fluent. Lulu, obviously stunned, looked at him.

“I didn’t know that you spoke French,” she quipped, smiling.

“Well, a little,” he admitted modestly.

“Voilà Monsieur, si vous voulez bien compléter ce papier,” the concierge 
answered, “vous avez la chambre 322.”

Their room offered a glimpse of the beautiful Place Vendôme. “A room with a 
view,” Lulu announced ecstatically to Nick. He came to the window, moving behind 
her, and put his arms around her waist. He whispered in her ear: “Yes, it is 
beautiful,” then kissed her nape, where he liked it so much. Both were silent 
for a moment, happy but tired. She helped Nick unpack then they decided to take 
a nap before starting their sightseeing. With the time difference, it was noon 
in Paris, but for them it was still 6 o’clock am and the night on the plane 
hasn’t been very restful.

From that moment, Nick and Lulu felt like young students but with money! They 
visited everything everywhere, walking down the little streets, having a 
sandwich with a glass of wine in a café for lunch, enjoying each other and the 
great food at night. April in Paris seemed to put even the austere Parisians in 
a good mood. Taxi drivers were not polite, it would be a terrible exaggeration, 
but they were full of anecdotes and tips about everything. Nick and Lulu were 
discovering that they had a lot of common tastes, except for the food. 

One day, Lulu asked him where he had learned French. 

“When I was 14 and 15 years old, my father sent me to this summer French camp in 
the Alps, so I could learn French and he could be rid of me, ” answered Nick.

“Did you like it?”she asked, curious about his past she knew almost nothing 
about.

“The first days were awful, I couldn’t understand a word. I didn’t like the 
kids, they were making fun of me. But, in the end, it was OK. It was even better 
than that. We had these wonderful walks in the mountains.”

Nick didn’t tell Lulu about the other time he came in France, seven or eight 
years ago. He was living in New York at the time and his girlfriend was a stage 
actress who wanted very much to go the famous Festival de Théâtre in Avignon. 
The country was splendid, but the festival was so boring that Nick tried to 
escape and found excuses to not attend with Minette. That probably did the trick 
with their relationship. 

Nick was discovering another side of Lulu: she was attentive to him, asking 
about him, looking truly interested. He was not accustomed to that curiosity 
about him. He wondered how much he should tell her, how much was too revealing… 
But in the same time, he relished every minute in her company. He felt they were 
becoming a couple and that Lulu, too, was growing more and more comfortable with 
him, with their new life. 

The day before their departure, Nick came back to the hotel before Lulu, who was 
doing some last minutes errands. The concierge called out when Nick came to 
reception area.

“Mr. Fallin, I have a message for you. It says it’s urgent.”

“Thank you.”

In the elevator, Nick quickly started to read. It was from Jake. Nick, call me 
back on my cell, anytime. It’s urgent. 
Nick called and at once, Jake answered. 

“Oh Nick. Glad you called me fast. ”

“What is it?” Nick asked, impatiently.

“Your father. He had a heart attack…”

“What?” Nick stammered, the words not yet sinking in.

“He had a heart attack this morning in the office and…”

Unable to take the suspense, Nick interrupted: “Is he... Is he?” 

“Nick, he is not dead, but he is in the ICU.”

“Oh God! Thank you for calling me and ... Call again if anything else happens. 
I’ll try to find another flight. I’ll be there tomorrow night.”

Immediately, Nick called the airline and tried to find an earlier flight but 
theirs was the first departure for New York. 

When Lulu arrived, Nick was sitting on the bed, his head in his hands.

“Nick,” she said, alarmed by his appearance. “What’s going on?”

“My father…”

“What?”

“My father… He had a heart attack this morning. Jake called.”

“Is he OK?”

“I don’t know. He is in the ICU.”

“Did you call the hospital?”

Nick hadn’t thought about that. He was so distressed that he couldn’t think 
straight. 

Lulu called Jake and asked him about the details and the hospital’s phone number 
and the name of the doctor. Then she called and asked for Dr. Harry Grill, 
Burton’s cardiologist. He was not in but the nurse gave her the uptodate: Burton 
was in the ICU and would stay there until the surgery. But for the other 
details, they would have to talk to Dr. Grill himself who would be in at 6 am 
tomorrow morning.

Nick was devastated. There was nothing he could do before the next morning and 
the waiting was making him crazy. Lulu tried to reassure him, but there was 
nothing she could say that Nick would listen to. 

That night, they share a silent dinner. The beautiful days were over. The 
tension was nerve raking. During the night, Nick couldn’t sleep, lying restless 
beside her in the bed before he got up, only to stare quietly out the window 
until the sun rose. 

The trip back to the USA was long, awfully silent. Nick was completely unable to 
hear or to talk. He was, as the shrink told him once, shut down. Sitting beside 
him, Lulu watched painfully, aware that she could not give Nick the help he 
needed. 

As soon as they landed in Pittsburgh, Nick hailed a cab and told Lulu to go back 
home, he would go to the hospital alone. Hurt, Lulu asked him:

“Why don’t you want me to go with you?”

“Because… because you don’t have to,” answered Nick. 

His reluctance to talk was so obvious that Lulu took a cab and went back home.

The days that followed were difficult: the double bypasses went well, but Burton 
was very weak. Nick went to the hospital every morning and every night and was 
taking care of Burton’s clients with Jake. Jake proved again to be a good 
friend: he didn’t ask stupid questions, took a load of work and even went to the 
hospital once. Lulu went too, without Nick knowing. It felt like forbidden 
territory, something he couldn’t share with her. 

Then, one night, Nick came back home, exhausted. Without a word, he sat on the 
couch, rubbing his hair, looking actually very tired and worn. They haven’t 
spoken for days. They were coexisting, and it was painful for both of them. 
Finally, Lulu started, carefully, aware that any conversation could become 
landmines: 

“Nick,” she said, “you should rest.”

“Hem…”

“It won’t help your father if you’re too tired.”

“I’m OK.” he answered, sounding rather testy.

“Nick, you don’t sleep, you almost don’t eat …”

“That’s OK” 

“Do you want me to do something?”

“No, there is nothing you can do,” he answered shortly.

Lulu went back to the kitchen to finish supper. She set the table and sat in 
silence. Nick came to the table, but suddenly, he got up and went to the bar to 
pour himself a glass of scotch. Lulu didn’t say anything, she knew better but 
inside she started wondering how much more it would take for Nick to turn back 
to his old habits.
 
The next days, Lulu and Nick hardly saw each other. Lulu felt that Nick was 
becoming more and more remote. She was afraid if she tried to force him to 
confide, he would get angry. She felt helpless and unwanted… 

Burton was getting better, but slowly. His convalescence would be difficult and 
long. The doctor told him that he had to say goodbye to the smoking and the 
drinking. Burton resented the doctor’s recommendations and in the same time, all 
the people around him who were trying to help. Like Nick.

When Burton went back home, Nick hired a nurse to be with his father, despite 
his protests. But Nick insisted and won that time on the nurse front. But there 
was no way Burton would stop smoking and Nick was afraid, each time he left him, 
that he was seeing him for the last time… Nick was discovering his old man was, 
in fact, old. And that not only he could die, but that he would die one day…

A few days later, as Nick was working late, the phone rang.

“Yes?”

“Son, I need you to bring me some cigarettes,” Burton ordered, “that damned 
nurse doesn’t want to get them for me.” 

“Dad, you’re not supposed…”

“I know what I’m supposed to do and smoking is now what I need. I’m going crazy 
here,” declared Burton.

“I… OK. OK. I’ll be there soon.”

By the time Nick got to his father’s house, Burton was asleep. Nick put the 
cigarettes on the living’s room table and went back home.

He felt completely out of his depth, overwhelmed by all that he had going on in 
his life. With Lulu, things were getting complicated. He knew she was trying to 
help him. But for the moment, he felt incapable of filling her need for him at 
the time. She could not understand that he wanted to be left alone. To avoid the 
confrontation, Nick came back home later and later every day.

On the other hand, as the days went by, Lulu could see Nick was depressed. She 
felt responsible. “I knew it couldn’t last,” she thought to herself. “I’m not 
good enough for him. He doesn’t need me, he wants me somewhere else…” 

These two only child were unable to share their emotions with each other. They 
were just starting to learn how to do so with the little joys. But the sadness 
was something they have learned to keep to themselves. As the days went by, the 
gap became more and more insurmountable.

One night, a few weeks later, when Nick came back home, it was almost midnight. 
Seeing no sense in waiting up, Lulu went to bed, well aware that she wouldn’t 
sleep until she knew he was all right. Sometimes she didn’t know why she even 
bothered to wait up, much less stay there – he certainly didn’t seem to notice 
her presence. Hours passed and when she finally heard his key in the door, she 
knew better than to get up to meet him at the door. He’d probably just turn 
away. Lulu thought it would be better to wait, to let him come to her, if that’s 
what he wanted. Nick quietly walked into the bedroom and undressed. Maybe 
tonight will be different, Lulu lied to herself. When he came to the bed, Lulu 
could smell the alcohol on his breath and knew that he was drunk. 

“Nick.”

“Yeah?”

“What happened?”

“Nothing.” 

“Why are you drunk?”

“I’m not drunk.”

“Yes, you are.”

“Could you please leave me alone, Miss Perfect,” Nick demanded angrily, getting 
out the bed.

“Where are you going?”

“To the guest room where nobody will judge me.”

“Nick!”

Nick left the room, slamming the door. Lulu was devastated. Lulu lay alone in 
her bed, while Nick as miserable as she was, tried to sleep in his guestroom. 
The next morning, at the table, Nick didn’t say a word. Lulu saw that she 
couldn’t keep going like this. She touched his hand and, softly, said: 

“We cannot keep going like this, Nick…”

He looked at her, opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came. When he 
leaned to kiss her, she took his face in her hands, looking in his eyes 
intently, trying to read what was going on in his head. She could see he was 
miserable too. She let him go and Nick left for work without a word.

An hour later, she made a decision and picked up the phone.

“Mom,” she said on the phone.

“Oh, Lulu, How are you?”

“Well, OK. May I see you today?”

“Sure. That would be great. Can you make it for lunch?”

“Hem… I was thinking about … staying at your place for a few days, actually…”

“Something wrong?”

“Kind of…”

“Why, sure,” her mother answered after an imperceptible hesitation, “you’re 
welcome. I’ll be there at 6. See you then.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Nick came back home early that day. He wanted at least to show Lulu that he 
cared even he could not find the words to say it. The lights were off and the 
house was very silent. Intrigued, he entered and saw at once the piece of paper 
on the couch.


Nick,

I’m sorry I can’t find the words or the ways to help you. I just make things 
worse each time I try. I am not up to your expectations and I know you are 
disappointed in me. I really thought we could be happy, but I can’t give you 
what you need or what you want. 

Our happiness was too good to be true and now, my unhappiness is destroying you 
and me. 

I love you,

Lulu
 
THE END