DEFINITION
 
Author: jevees1981
 
Email: jesica.espasandin@navigo.com.ar
 
Rating: PG
 
Summary: This story begins in the last scenes of All the Rage...
 
Author's Note: Girls here it is my first nicfic!... I hope you enjoy it 
a lot..I want to thank to Cecilia, for your support,my mother cause she
encourage me to do this, and a special thank for Shirley who
corrected a lot a mistakes about grammar and other stuff...
Thanks... with out you I would have nerver posted it...

Jevees


--+--

 
It was late and the little lights shone as usual that cold Friday
night in Pittsburgh while attorney Nick Fallin was sitting in the
middle of the ER at County Hospital, waiting for some news and
remembering what he had lived through the past few hours.

It all began when his father got out of the car and insisted on
fighting the guy who took the only parking space left.

Burton got out of the car and started talking to the other man in not
a very gentle way. Then they started to shove each other and Nick
decided to intervene, even though he knew it wasn't such a great idea.

Nick said, "Hey…" and punched the guy so hard that he couldn't feel
his hand for awhile. Then he just lost it. He didn't even notice
when the guy fell; he just continued to punch him again and again.
Finally he stopped and realized what he had done. He looked at the
guy and was suddenly overwhelmed. Burton continued to kick the man
as he lay, helpless, on the floor.

A moment later they were leaving the garage as quick as possible;
Nick checking for security cameras or a witness who could have seen
the horrifying thing they had done, but he saw nothing.

They got in the car and a minute later they were on the street.

Nick breathed as much air as he could, still trying to figure out
what the hell was wrong with him: his hands and body were asking him
to stop. He should send help to the poor guy but he didn't do it.
He looked at his dad, who was reaching for a cigarette, wanting to
know what he was thinking.

Then he saw a man running down the middle of the street. As the man
passed by the car, Nick recognized him. Taliek seemed desperate,
staring at him with a weird expression in his eyes. Nick felt a
chill. He continued to watch Taliek in his rear-view mirror, with an
eerie feeling.

After he left his dad at home, he still had a bad feeling about
Taliek so he parked the car and took a cab to LSP. Something was
wrong and somehow he knew James was involved.

He went inside the elevator and pressed the button for the second
floor as usual. While he was waiting to arrive he thought about the
man bleeding in the parking garage and felt his pain rise again. He
also remembered how he had run out that evening after Lulu had said
she didn't know how to respond to his words, he had said to her that
he loved her, he remembered that he hadn`t said those words to a
woman since his mother died . He knew that what he felt at that
moment wasn't only guilt or frustration. All that had happened these
past weeks had driven him nuts—Lulu wanting to go away. He really
couldn't blame her; maybe it was best for her to stay the hell away
from him. And then there was his father with all the Shannon stuff
which was driving him insane. He had wondered, since the very moment
his dad wanted to be her foster parent, what she had that he didn't.
His father never showed him as much devotion as he showed to Mary
Gressler´s granddaughter.

Everyone he cared about seemed to abandon him. It happened before
when his mom died and his father decided to send him away. He felt,
as much as he tried, he was losing everything again.

The elevator door opened and he went inside. Then he saw him—the new
lawyer lying on the floor. Nick ran to assist him but then he saw
the blood and the hole in his head. He took his pulse, knowing,
already, that he was dead. Then he turned and noticed the other man,
trying to reach the telephone.

"My God… James… James…" Nick said.

Nick grabbed James carefully and took his pulse. It was weak but he
was alive. He took the phone that James was trying to reach and
dialed 9-1-1, giving the operator the address and other
specifications and then he turned his attention to James. He had his
eyes open but he was having difficulty breathing. Nick noticed the
two wounds, apparently gun shots. One was in his chest. Hopefully
the bullets hadn't struck any vital organs. He took his jacket off
to try and stop the bleeding as much as he could.

James was now mumbling … "Nick… It was… him… his eyes… You know this
shirt is new. God, how could he…? Mmm. Who could blame him? Can
I? I deserved this… I…"

Nick started to panic. James' pulse was getting weaker.

"James, shut up. Nobody deserves this." `Except maybe me,' he
thought. "Come on, save forces… Okay? You are gonna be okay."

His breathing was getting worse. Nick prayed he wouldn't collapse
before the paramedics got there. They'll know what to do.

Nick kept trying to stop the bleeding. He knew James had lost a lot
of blood and he just was hoping someone would arrive soon. The
elevator was called from downstairs. Nick hoped it would be help.
He looked at James and thought of the man in the parking garage,
bleeding—lying there, maybe not as lucky to be found by someone. He
felt guilty all over again.

Holding his jacket against James he realized he was angry with
himself. A long time ago he thought he was angry with his father for
not making time for him, for not loving him, but the truth was that
he hated himself for not being able to be what his father deserved…
what lulu deserved. He hated himself so much for not being good
enough for the people he loved.

The doors of the elevator suddenly opened and a group of people
entered the room.

Nick shouted, "We're in here. He needs help." He was grateful for
being pulled out of his thoughts.

The paramedics approached and started working on James. Nick felt
relief because James was now in the hands of professionals and he
didn't have to save him; it wasn't his responsibility anymore. `At
least he didn't die in my hands,' he thought. Another paramedic went
to see about the new guy at LSP—he was dead and Nick knew it. He
hadn't even said hello to the guy. Maybe he has a family. Nick
didn't even know if he was married, maybe with a couple of children.

Five minutes later Nick was in the ambulance trying to figure this
whole thing out. How had this happened? When was this day ever
going to end?

They arrived at the hospital and immediately took James to surgery.
His condition was very bad so Nick decided to call Alvin and as soon
as he arrived Nick was going to get the hell out of there. He
couldn't stop thinking about what he had done before he found James.
Nick couldn't close his eyes without seeing the man's face covered
with blood. His own hands, in fact, were covered with blood now.
Not only James' but also the blood of a stranger; the man he had
beaten up earlier that evening. He felt ashamed.

He asked the nurse in the reception area if he could make a quick
call. He indicated to her that his cell phone was broken and he
needed to talk to someone about what had happened. Another stupid
thing he had done because he just couldn't handle his anger.

What was happening to him? He had been angry since he was twelve—
angry with his mother for leaving him alone and with his father for
sending him away and trying to forget he ever existed. And he was
angry with himself for not being the kind of son that his father
would have wanted at his side. `Angry could be his middle name,' he
thought, sadly.

Alvin's phone rang. It was 11:30 PM. Alvin was reading an
incredible book titled "How not be a Fascist". He grabbed the phone
wondering who it could be at that late hour.

"Hello," he answered.

"Alvin, hey it's Nick…."

"Nick… God, what's going on? Do you know what the time is Mr.
Fallin…?"

"Yeah… Alvin, I'm… sorry. Listen…" Alvin began to be alarmed.

"Are you okay? Are you in trouble? Where are you?"

"At County Hospital. You know, you should come. There's this…"

"What? In the hospital. Nick, are you all right? What happened?
Accident? God, Nick, speak!"

"No, no, it's not me. Just get dressed and come down here.
Something happened at LSP and James… He's injured and well, the new
guy… I don't even remember his name… Just… just… come, okay? We'll
talk as soon as you get here."

The phone went dead. Alvin got up and started to get dressed. He
was trying to understand what Nick was trying to say. He knew
something bad had happened. Nick would never have called if it
wasn't important but… what? He got his car keys and stormed out of
the little apartment he called home.

Twenty minutes later he arrived at the hospital. He went in looking
for the reception area to ask for some information, but then he saw
Nick. He was sitting in the ER, his hands covering his face. Alvin
called to him, loudly.

"Nick…" Nick didn't move. He seemed to be in a trance.

Alvin got closer and grabbed his shoulder. "Nick," he said again.
Nick shook his head a bit and looked at him, staring.

"Alvin? Hi… I'm sorry I bothered you at this hour. I didn't know
who to call."

Alvin saw the strange look on Nick's face. He also saw the red
knuckles, but said nothing about them. He was more concerned about
James and Larry.

"What happened at the clinic? James and Larry… Are they okay?

"Well..." Nick felt an acrid taste in his mouth. "James is in
surgery and this guy… the new one…"

"Larry?"

"Is that his name…? `Cause you introduced him to me but I was kind
of busy and well…"

"What about him?" Alvin prodded Nick. `God, what's going on?' he
thought.

"He's dead… I'm sorry, Alvin… I thought I should call his family…
it's just that I didn't get his name and I just couldn't call
anyone. And…" Nick stopped as he saw Alvin's face become pale. Was
he going to faint? Nick hated being here. He hated the situation.
Why did he have to be the one to discover them?

"Alvin … hey," he said, touching his arm. "Are you okay? Alvin?"

"No, Nick… I'm not okay. Someone died at my clinic. How do you
think I feel about that?"

"I'm… sorry. When I arrived… he… he… was already dead. There was
nothing that I could have done."

Alvin was feeling like hell. He was treating Nick like it was his
fault.

"It's okay," he said, trying to calm himself. "Can you tell me
exactly what happened? Have you heard anything how about James?"

"James is in surgery, he was shot twice, I …"

"Shot? What are you talking about?"

"He… they both were shot. I arrived and found them there lying on
the floor… I saw this guy, Larry… He had… he was… shot in the head.
I… there was so much blood," Nick continued, emotionally. "I took
his pulse but he didn't have any…so… then I saw James. He was trying
to get to the phone, and…"

Alvin was listening carefully at all that Nick was saying, then
suddenly he spoke firmly and little bit loud.

"Did you see anyone… inside… outside… anything?"

Nick shook his head then ran his hand down the back of his
head. "No… there wasn't anyone, or at least I didn't see anything,
you know?" Nick said, frustrated. "I was a little worried about
James bleeding out. I tried to stop it but he had two wounds: one in
the chest and the other near his shoulder. I… tried to cover the one
in the chest first. I thought…"

"It's ok, Nick. I'm sorry. Why don't you go home and get some
sleep? I'll stay and call the relatives of both and… Just go and
rest. Do you want me to call your father?"

"No, no… that's not… No."

Alvin was a little surprised by Nick`s reaction. He could be a very
strange man sometimes.

"Are you okay? You seemed…"

"I'm fine. Don't worry about me…"

"Yeah, you don't need anyone," Alvin said, using Nick's own words.

Stung by Alvin's remark, Nick said, "So… are you calling Larry's
relatives or what?"

Noticing the hurt in Nick's eyes, Alvin straightened up a bit and
said. "Yes, I'm doing that right now."

"Okay, so I'll wait until you come back. Do you want me to do
something? Anything…?" Nick added, hopelessly.

"Can you call Lulu and tell her everything that happened, so she can
warn everyone not go to the office and…?"

Although Nick had avoided talking to Lulu, at that moment he realized
Alvin was going to make the worst phone calls so he agreed to call
Lulu but, he was not looking forward to it.

Nick blamed himself again for smashing his cell phone and went in
search of a public one he could use. While he was walking toward it
he was thinking how Lulu would react to his call. He dialed and
waited for her to answer.

"Hello," she said.

"Hi, Lulu…"

"Nick, is that you? Today, after you left, I wanted to talk to you
but…"

"I'm not calling you about that. There was this problem at LSP…
Alvin needs you here…"

"Okay. Well… maybe he should call his friend James." Now Alvin
needed her, after he practically sold her to his friend in
California, she thought to herself.

Surprised by her reaction, Nick said, "He can't Lulu. James was shot
and he's in the hospital. So…"

"Oh, God." She felt so ashamed. "I'm sorry. What happened? How?"

"Someone shot James and Larry and… Look we are at County Hospital.
Why don't you just…?"

"Are they okay? My God… How can I help?"

"Just come here and Alvin will explain."

"But who…? Who would do such a horrible thing? I mean everyone likes
James and…"

Nick was no longer hearing her. He was thinking about that night.
He knew there was something that he was forgetting. Then he
remembered Taliek running and his eyes…"

"Are you listening to me, Nick…? Nick?"

"I have to go. Come as soon as you can. I don't want Alvin to be
here alone. Would you? Sorry... I have to go." He hung up.

Lulu looked at the phone shocked by what she had just heard. She was
already dressed. Grabbing her car keys and cell phone, she left.

During the drive she called Laurie and the police. She passed by the
LSP office but the police were there and no one could get in. She
drove to the hospital.

Nick returned to the waiting room still thinking about Taliek. He
knew it must have been him who did this. Taliek had a good motive
and then there were James' words. Nick was putting things together
but he just couldn't accuse the guy. And what was he going to tell
the police? That he knew that James had beaten up the man 6 months
ago and that he didn't stop him, so that would make him an
accomplice. And what about seeing Taliek as they were leaving the
parking garage, where he and his father had beaten-up a guy over a
parking space.

He felt relief when he looked at his watch and noticed that in five
minutes the day was going to end.

Lulu entered the hospital. She saw Alvin and walked over to talk to
him. He explained what Nick had told him, emphasizing that Nick
didn't give too many details.

"Nick?" She asked. "What has Nick got to do with this?"

"He found them. In fact, I think he is a bit shaken by it. Maybe
you should talk to him. You know he listens to you."

"Where is he? He seemed strange on the phone. He never said that he
was the one who found them."

"You know Nick. He's in the waiting room. Just stay with him. He
looks like crap."

She didn't hear the last words. She just ran towards the waiting
room to find him. Nick needed her and she hadn't realized it over
the phone. She had treated him badly for a while. But, Nick was
always a big question mark. She never knew what to expect from him.
He never would say what he thought or felt, then suddenly, that
afternoon, he told her he loved her. She had been so surprised that
she couldn't think of what to say.

She saw him sitting there like a small boy gazing off in the
distance. Nick looked up as she neared. She sat down next to him
and hugged him hard trying to comfort him. He was cold and didn't
respond immediately to her touch. She began to caress his back with
a firm and constant motion.

Nick felt her warm hug and his blood began to circulate again. He
wished for time to stop and this moment to last forever. He felt her
soft hands on his back as he surrounded her with his arms, never
wanting to feel lonely or empty again.

Lulu pulled away from him gently, ending that intimate moment. She
took his hands in hers and said, "Hey…"

Nick responded. "Mmm…?"

"You forgot to tell me something on the phone," she said, trying to
be as gentle as she could.

"I'm sorry. I just… I didn't feel like chatting. Sorry." He raised
his hand and pushed the hair off her face.

"Okay. Do you need anything?" He seemed so vulnerable. She hadn't
seen Nick like that before. His gray-green eyes where shining. God,
he was so beautiful. How could a man like Nick `see' her when he was
always surrounded by pretty blonde girls. And then he had told her
that he loved her. How…? She didn't know. It was hard to believe
he would pick her over them. Her…? Why? She remembered what she
had told him… that… `Brian never looks at me the way you do.' It
was… `is' true. He looked at her as though she was the only person
in the room.

Nick was trying to figure out what Lulu was thinking. She was
abstract in her thoughts.

"Are you okay?" Lulu was a little shaken by his words.

"Me? Yes, yes, I'm good. I'm… I'm concerned about you. How do you
feel?"

"Fine. Well… I'm… I'm gonna be all right. I'm just tired." Again
he pictured the man in the garage… wondering how he was doing.

"I can take you home…if you want. I mean…"

"Yes. Will you stay with me a bit? I mean… if you don't have to… you
know, do something at…" he glanced at his watch. "…at 1:00 o'clock
in the morning on a Friday night?" He half smiled.

She laughed. "Sure, I think a can rearrange my agenda. Don't
worry."

Nick gave her the most beautiful smile then took her hand and walked
her to the exit.

He saw Alvin and walked over to him.

"If you need… you know… anything… call me. Okay? Whatever, it
doesn't matter the time. Okay?"

Touched by the offer, Alvin said, "I will. I will. Go and rest a
bit? Lulu you are taking him, aren't you?"

"Yes. I'll make sure he arrives in one piece."

"Okay. Bye then. See you both tomorrow." Nick started to walk
away. "Oh… Nick? Nick?"

Nick turned around, still holding Lulu's hand. "Yes?"

"Thanks… you know for… everything. Uhh…"

"I did nothing, Alvin. I just wish I could've done… you know… more.
I… I'm sorry about Larry."

Lulu raised her hand and touched his hair as though he was a little
boy. Alvin was so surprised at that gesture.

"You did what you could. It's not your fault. James was really
lucky you were there. Now go and rest."

"Yeah… thanks. I'll see you tomorrow."

Nick and Lulu walked out of the hospital as Alvin watched them go.
He thought about the day he met Nick for the first time. He didn't
like him at all and now… well, Nick had changed.

At that moment, Laurie arrived. She hugged him and said some nice
word in his ear. For the first time, all night he felt comforted.

Lulu and Nick arrived at his house. He had been quiet the whole ride
home—lost in his thoughts. He opened the door and waited for her
while she set the car's alarm.

She had never been in Nick's house before. He turned the lights on
and she entered. `Beautiful place,' she thought.

He sat down on the couch and waited while she looked around a bit,
curious about the house. She finally sat down next to him.

Nick looked at her, intensely.

"You… are… you are staying, aren't you?" He didn't want her to
leave. He wanted her with him. He was afraid of what he might do if
she left… maybe drugs, get drunk… He just knew he didn't want to be
there alone… not tonight.

"Yes, I am." She wasn't sure what had happened but he was acting a
bit strange and she was not leaving him alone. She noticed he was
happy with her answer.

Suddenly he just laid down and put his head on her lap. She was so
surprise by this that she didn't move. He looked like a child—so
lonely, so fragile. She touched his hair and he closed his eyes.

Nick felt her hand on his hair. His mom used to do that when he was
a child. He used to be scared of the dark. Anne used to sit on his
bed and stay there till he was asleep, touching his hair or singing
to him very softly. At that moment, on the couch, he felt safe like
he hadn't felt in a long, long time.

"Nick…?"

"Yes?" he said, opening his eyes. "Am I bothering…? I'm…'cause…"

"No. No stay. I just want you to know something."

"Yes?"

"Well… I… want you to know… that… I was a little insecure… today.
I've been a little confused and… Well, I didn't know… what to say…
You know, in the office…"

Feeling the pain return, Nick said, "You don't have to explain
yourself, okay? Just forget about it. I… I don't want to talk about
that now. Please… just not now."

"But…"

"Lulu…"

"I love you, too. Okay?"

Nick removed his head from her lap and looked at her—shocked.

"You… said… What?"

She said, smiling, "You heard me. She gave him a very soft kiss and
laid his head back in her lap. He closed his eyes and felt the sweet
softness of sleep engulf him. With Lulu's arms around him and the
sweet smell of her perfume, he was being swept away to the beautiful
world of dreams.

"Don't leave tonight," he said, thinking that he didn't deserve her
love. He didn't deserve her at all, but he loved her too much to let
her go—he needed her so much. He was wondering how he had survived
without her so long.

"I won't." She moved his head from her lap and got up.

"Lulu, stay with me." He was barely awake.

"Yes, Nick… always." She laid down beside him and held him
close. "No matter what."

THE END!