Here is the 3rd of at least 5 parts of Life Goes On, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. LIFE GOES ON Pt. 3 RATED: R. Adult Language and Situations AUTHOR: Bobbie S. AUTHOR'S NOTE: Life Goes on is about relationships, old and new, and tying up loose ends. This story begins the evening that "Antarctica" ended. Too many loose ends were left undone; the old relationships involving Nick, Lulu, and Burton. How did the arrival of Baby Anne affect each of their lives? Whatever happened to Jake and Kate? In the effort to tie up some of those dangling loose ends, I borrowed some familiar characters and situations from episodes from all three seasons of TG. All other characters are fiction, as well as a geographic location or two. This series will have at least five episodes that are complete, with the exception of typing and posting. I hope to have them posted soon. LIFE GOES ON PT 3 Nick was still in his trance-like state, but Burton did not have time to worry about that at the moment. The most important thing was to get Nick on the plane and to their destination before he had time to protest and back out. The evening before, Burton had Dee, Nick's housekeeper pack his son's bags with everything he would need for at least a week, while Nick was taking a much needed nap. Burton also called Barbara from LSP telling her that he and Nick were going out of town on a family emergency. Nick was busy and had asked him to call her, requesting she take care of whatever needed to be done. Burton knew Nick could trust her to delegate the work. Barbara's attitude was, since Nick was not receiving a salary, who at LSP could question anything he did. If all else failed, she would call Lulu; after all it was her job Nick was doing every day. But, just in case Burton gave Barbara Dee's number, should she need to get in touch with Nick. He then called Lulu, telling her that he and Nick had a family emergency out of town and they would not be picking up little Anne tomorrow. He told her to call Dee, should she need to reach Nick for any reason Nick did not even ask where they were going, even when they boarded a plane for Fort Lauderdale. He was still convinced he was going to some mental institution or rehabilitation center. It was too much to hope that his destination could somehow be some sort of resort. God only knew he could use the rest. After arriving in Ft. Lauderdale, they boarded the airport limousine. "You've been very quite son. You haven't even asked where we are going. "Where are we going?" "It's a surprise," Burton chuckled. "That's what I was afraid of." Nick stated dryly. "Trust me son, you won't be disappointed." "Who does either of us know in Fort Lauderdale or even Florida?" "I know a few people in Orlando?" "I've been there once, but we couldn't stay very long." "When was that son? Is that when you and Alvin went to Los Angeles?" "No you are thinking about Disneyland. I went to Disney World in my freshman year of college for spring break." "I don't remember that. Weren't you sick the spring of your freshman year? "Yes, but I got better and I asked you if I could go to Daytona and you said no, you would prefer that I came home or stayed on campus and caught up on my studies." Nick fell silent again, staring out the window. "And?" Burton asked impatiently. "And, what?" Nick asked like an innocent child. "What happened after I told you not to go to Daytona?" "Oh, I went anyway, and my friends and I went on to Disney World, before heading back to school." "So, Nicholas, what else has happened during your freshman year at college that you haven't told me about?" Nick ignored the question and simply stated, "I will take Anne there someday; I have always wanted to go back." He then continued to stare blankly out of the window. Nick inquired no more about where they were headed. Burton had to force him to say anything at all, until it became a tiresome burden on Burton's part. He finally just gave up trying to hold a rational conversation with his son. It wasn't until they had actually boarded the cruise ship that Nick came to life. "Dad, you never told me we were going on a cruise." "That is because I wanted it to be a surprise. I hope you are not upset with me." "Upset? I have always wanted to go on a cruise. Lulu and I." Nick stopped short and didn't finish his sentence. "What about Lulu?" Burton asked. Before Anne was born I suggested to Lulu that we go on a cruise after the baby came and my probation was over." "Did she agree to go, it would have been fun." Burton tried to encourage Nick to talk. "She was mad at me." "Why was she mad at you son?" "She just was." Burton could see that Nick was withdrawing. That pained expression he had two nights ago was beginning to cover his face. "Is Lulu still mad at you, son?" "Yeah." He nearly whispered. "Well let's get unpacked and see what's on the agenda. We should be having dinner shortly." Burton thought, (I had better stop while I am ahead. The purpose of getting Nicholas out of town was to get his mind off Lulu.) Burton could not tell exactly what was going on with his son. One minute he was fine, and seemed excited about something he discovered about the cruise, then the next he was withdrawn, staring off into space, having to be told what to do next. Well, Burton sighed, at least he is away from work, phones and most of all Lulu. And this trip was not only for Nicholas; Burton needed a vacation, as well. He chuckled to himself when he thought about the look on Jake Straka's face when he would find out that he would be taking two weeks off, maybe the whole month. Burton couldn't remember the last time he's had a real vacation. He just left a message with Gretchen. He will be damned, the day he reports to Jake Straka about his whereabouts. ******** That night after dinner, Burton found Nick sitting on the deck alone, staring out into the stillness of the night. "There you are, I thought you had gone back to the cabin. It is nice out her isn't it?" "Yes." "Why don't you come on inside with me, there a thousand and one things to do tonight. Did you realize that today is the fourth of July?" "Yes. I have a friend who was born on the fourth of July." "That's interesting. Did you send them a gift?" "No, we aren't close, just someone I met, just friends." "Come on with me, they are having a big holiday bash. They have a huge red, white, and blue cake, balloons, everything patriotic' it should be fun." Nick obeyed his father in his zombie-like state, trailing behind him like a five-year old. Burton noticed the attention Nick got from females as he entered the room. Here he is Gloria, this is my son I was telling you about." She looked to be about five years Burton's junior. Nick snapped out of his trance long enough to pour on some Fallin charm. Gloria, Grayson, my son Nicholas Fallin." "I am pleased to meet you Mam." Nick smiled as he extended his hand to her. "Your father has told me so much about you. So, what brings you on this cruise with your father?" "Dad. He tricked me into coming. He knew I would not have come, if I had known. I had a lot of work to do at my office." "Your father tricked you? Would he really do that?" "He did it." Nick smiled. "Well, Nicholas, are you sorry your father tricked you?" "No mam, not at all." (Now that sounds like my boy. It is amazing the difference a female can make in his demeanor.) *********** That night when Nick and Burton had gone to bed, the room was so quiet you could only hear their breathing. "Dad, did you tell Lulu that we would not be picking up Anne today?" "Yes, I did son, why did you ask? "No reason, I suppose I was just thinking about Anne. Did Lulu say anything when you told her?" "No son, I just told her that we had a family emergency and we both had to leave town on short notice. She just said, okay, thanks for telling her." "Oh," Nick simply replied. Burton lied. Lulu asked one question after another: Did anyone die? Was Nick all right? Who is going to do his work at LSP? Do they know at LSP that Nick was leaving town? Can she reach him should something happen to Anne? Where was Nick going? Burton answered none of her questions. He simply said to call Dee should there be an emergency, and she will relay any important message. Burton wanted to say that he didn't give a damn about LSP, her, or anything else, he was only calling her to let her know he would not be picking up his granddaughter. But instead he said, "Thank you honey, I just thought you should know." Lulu hung up the phone with a smirk on her face thinking, (Nick is going to rehab and this time, Burton is sneaking him out of town so no one will know.) No more conversation passed between father and son until the next morning when they were getting dressed. Burton had gotten up early, showered, dressed, and sat on the deck for a while. Nick was still asleep when he returned. He didn't want to have breakfast without Nick so he decided to wake him up. He never knew what kind of mood Nick would be in when he was suddenly awakened, but he thought he would take his chances anyway. If Nick got upset and stormed out of the cabin, how far could he go in his boxers? "Son, it is time to get up and get dressed. I wanted to wait for you so we could have breakfast together." Nick said nothing but obeyed and headed for the bathroom as Burton handed him a cup of coffee. While Nick showered Burton wondered how long was Nick's withdrawal and depression going to last? The fact that Nick either couldn't or refused to think for himself was getting to be tiresome. He hadn't even chosen an outfit to wear. Burton thought, (I suppose I had better do that for him, also. It will be easier than watching him for the next 20 minutes, try to figure which shirt to wear with what slacks. I haven't even given him back his wallet, cell phone and keys and he hasn't asked for them. This is really serious.) Suddenly Burton was beginning to feel depressed. (Maybe this cruise idea was a mistake. Nick is happiest when he is working and he has never been a very social person. Maybe when we reach the islands, he may perk up a little bit. If his condition does not improve soon, perhaps I should not leave him alone on the deck. Who knows what is going on in his mind? When we get back home I will seek medical and psychiatric help for him. There are medical facilities here on the ship. Maybe I will talk to the doctor about his depression. Lord it is going to be a long week.) At that time, Nick came out of the bathroom draped in a towel. "Dad, there are over a thousand people on this ship and hundreds of cabins. Where does all the fresh water come from and where does it go once we've used it?" Burton had to laugh, because it sounded like a question that an eight-year old child would ask, instead of a 34 year-old man. "Did you think about that while you were in the shower?" "Yes. I used quite a bit of water." "Well, I don't know, son, I never really thought about it." "Thanks for letting me sleep in; I really needed that extra bit of rest. It really made a difference." He retrieved his shaving kit from the dresser then opened his suit case which was still half unpacked and pulled out a light blue tee shirt, khaki shorts, leather throng sandals, and underwear. He found a framed picture of Anne and put it on the dresser. "Nicholas, do you want me to finish unpacking for you after breakfast?" Nick did not answer; he continued rummaging through the bag as if he was looking for something. "Is something wrong son? What are you looking for?" Burton was beginning to think the worse. (Did Nicholas put something in there that was illegal?) "Dad, you packed my things, right?" "No, Dee packed for you. "I could have guessed." "What's wrong? Did she leave out something you needed?" "Did you tell her to pack these?" Nick held up a box of condoms and a bottle of adult chewable vitamins." "No, I only told to pack whatever you would need for a week, whatever she did nor didn't put in your bag is between you and her. Oh, I might have told her it was a singles cruise." "A single's cruise, you say?" Nick picked up his things and went back into the bathroom. Burton thought he detected a smile on Nick's face. When he came out of the bathroom, he looked refreshed and energized. "I only have to put on my sandals and I will be ready." Burton noticed there were only traces of dark circles left under his son's eyes. "So, did Dee put those things in your bag as a joke?" "No. She probably thinks I am going to use them?" "Are you?" "You are as bad as Dee. I don't know what the two of you take me for." "I don't think she meant any harm, she cares a great deal about you and she just wanted you to be safe, you know, just in case." "Thank you both for your concern, but I really do not want to sleep with every woman I meet. And even if I did, what I don't understand is where am I supposed to put these things? You still have my wallet. And if did get my grove on with a woman, where am I suppose to take her, sharing a room with you? "Like I said, if you are offended that Dee packed those, well, you know, things for your protection, you have to take it up with her. I had nothing to do with it." "I am not offended and I know it isn't your fault. But I would not do anything that would embarrass you, so to prove I am going to behave myself on this trip, you can throw them overboard, I have no intentions of using them. Catch! Nick threw Burton the bottle vitamins and put the condoms in his shaving kit. "Let's eat." "Okay, smart ass, let's go." It did Burton's heart good to see Nicholas in a playful mood, something very rare. Maybe all he really did need was some rest and to get away from Lulu. "Just a second," Burton handed Nick his wallet, keys, and cell phone back. I charged that up for you. "How much money do you have?" Nick looked in his wallet and counted out $317.00 cash. He couldn't believe that Burton had not already been snooping in his wallet. "Here you go son." Burton handed him $2,500.00 in traveler's checks. "I've got money dad. I have my credit cards if I need more." "No son, this trip in on me. I want you to have a good time. I brought you here; I didn't give you much choice, so take it, and spend it all. Spend it on Anne if you can't think of anything to spend it on." "Yes Sir." Nick said as they prepared to leave for breakfast. After breakfast, the two men separated. Burton felt confident that Nick no longer needed a chaperone to keep an eye on him. He now seemed to be himself. Burton did not see Nick anymore until they both had met back at the cabin to get dressed for dinner. Nick seemed energized and in control. Perhaps all he did need was a good rest. This trip really was a good idea after all. That night Nick won a 3rd place trophy in a swing dancing contest. He was the youngest dancer among the group of contestants. His dance partner looked to be in her late 50's. Nick said they had one practice session, earlier, before the actual contest. You would think they had been dancing together for years. "Well, son, I guess all the money your mother used to spend on all those lessons she enrolled you in finally paid off; she said they would." Burton told him after Nick introduced him to Juanita, his dance partner. When Burton turned in for the evening, Nick came back to the cabin for a moment. He had a midnight date with Juanita later. "As he proudly displayed his trophy on the dresser beside Anne's picture as he announced, I feel lucky tonight." "Now do you understand why Dee packed those items for you, just in case?" "Dad, Juanita and I are going to the casino, we are on a roll. But I promise I won't let you or Dee down. Before the week ends, I will have put your "items" to good use just to please the two of you." "Go, gamble, Nicholas, but don't bet the deed to your house, and don't let Juanita sweet-talk you out of all your money." "Burton, Burton, Burton. Oh one of so little faith in your son. Someday I am going to teach you how to play poker, and win." "I doubt if you can play Old Maid. Well have fun anyway." That night Nick won $1,200.00. He tried to give it to Burton, to pay back part of the traveler's checks he had given him. Burton refused and told him that the cruise was his treat and the traveler's checks were a part of the deal. Burton told him to spend his winnings on Anne. Nick decided he would use it to decorate her nursery at his home. As, they lay in bed, after Nick had come in around 3:00 a.m., Burton said, "You seem to be enjoying yourself and you were right about being on a roll and being lucking. It seems that all that money your mother spent on all those lessons for you paid off. And where did you learn to play poker?" "I learned poker in boarding school. It was so boring, card games was just something to do. We used to play for Oreos, and sometimes change. As for those lessons, I hated every one of them: the dance, the voice, the music, the saxophone was pretty cool, but I hated all the rest." "I used to tell your mother that, but she never listened." "You should have tried harder." "I think you were four years old when she started you on the piano." "And I still can't play worth a damn." "You play well enough. But, where did you learn to dance like that? Swing dancing wasn't even a part of your generation." "I learned that in college. If they'd taught something like that in those sissy dance classes Mom made me take, it would not have been so bad. But by the end of the term, I was always the only boy left, to dance with three classes of girls." "But, you were the center of attention and all the girls had a crush on you." "I didn't like girls during that period, so it didn't count." "What about little Rachel?" "She wasn't a girly-girl, she was like my best buddy, my partner in crime." "You can say that again, laughed Burton, I remember every time Rachel came over for a play-date you wound up getting in trouble." "Yeah, she wasn't the best playmate I had. As a matter of fact, I really didn't have a lot of playmates that I could actually stand. Usually it was Rachel or Hugh. Hugh always dominated my toys and everything had to be his way. And whenever I went to Rachel's house, I had to play tea party. She always wanted me to be the daddy of her stupid dolls and bears." "You didn't seem to mind then." "That was because her mom always gave us have real food for those parties. She made real tea sandwiches and little cakes or cookies and we had coke for tea." "Hey son, do you remember that company picnic when......" Nick interrupted, "Rachel and I stole a bottle of wine, went into the forest, drank it, got drunk and she threw up all over her little shoes?" "Yeah, that's exactly what I was going to say." "Nope, I don't remember." "Right. Well, I know you remember that Christmas when your mother and I threw a holiday party and you held a piece of mistletoe over your head so Rachel could kiss you. But, Hugh had just come through the door with his grandmother and when he saw that mistletoe, he shoved Rachel aside and planted a big sloppy kiss right smack across your lips. You, remember that son?" "Nope." "Yeah right." Then, what do you remember?" "I remember Hugh causing me to miss my surprise 33rd birthday party you planned for me, then you got pissed at me for not showing up." "Yeah, that was Hugh's fault wasn't it. I told you it was going to be a corporate meeting." "You had already given me my traditional card and the $33.00 check, how was I to know? "You know what I think, son?" "What's that?" "I think now that we have little Anne in our lives, we should start some new birthday traditions. I think you have outgrown the card and dollar for every year you are old thing." "Amen! Nick cheered. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ The next morning, Burton found Nick lounging on the deck with a legal pad drawing sketches and making notes. Burton sat down beside him. "What are you doing son, it's pretty early isn't it?" "Yes, I have had enough sleep; I just wanted to make some notes while they were fresh in my mind. I borrowed your pad, I hope you don't mind." "Not at all, Son. Surely you are not doing work. This is your vacation and you need to rest because the work is not going anywhere." "No, this is a plan for Anne's nursery. Remember I told you that I have a barter agreement with Mona Johnson the photographer. Well, she is also an artist and is pretty good with interior decorating. She will decorate my nursery whenever I tell her what I want." "So, you've made up your mind? "Yes. I want a storybook theme. Uh, Dad, was there a little girl in the story of the three little pigs?" "No, son there wasn't." "That's what Mona said. I don't know why I keep thinking that there was." "Well there was in my version of the story." "Your version?" Nick asked, puzzled. "Yeah, Burton laughed. You see, whenever I told you a bedtime story, most of it was lies. I kind of embellished the real story to make it seem more interesting from the one in the book. So you are going to use the 3 little pigs as your theme?" "I don't know what I am going to use, now. I guess I will have to buy some story books and find out what the real story is and what your version was. I believe I saw a collection of Fairy Tales at Hattie's store." "What happened with that Nicholas? Did Hattie ever make up with that girl?" "Yes, after Hattie viewed her portfolios, she really liked her work. She allowed her to do one weekend the first of June on a trial basis. It was such a success that she and Hattie has agreed to do one weekend per month until November, at which time Mona will work every weekend until the middle of December for Christmas portraits. After that she should have enough business to work from her own studio. And Hattie is earning herself a tidy little profit from Mona's sales." "Well that is wonderful, I suppose I should go into the boutique and do a little shopping for my granddaughter." "I am sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I have been so busy it had just slipped my mind." "Well are you going to explore the island today?" "Yes, I met a group last night that I will be hanging out with today for shopping and sightseeing." "Good, I will be with Gloria and a couple of her friends. Well maybe I'll see you at dinner." "Shouldn't we have breakfast first day, I am ready." "Sure, let's go." ****** When Burton returned to the cabin to dress for dinner, Nick was in the shower. The cabin reeked of perfume. Some one has entertained company in here." Burton thought. He noticed that Nick's bed was not made up as neatly as it should have been and there was an earring lying on the bed where Nick was sure to notice it. Burton chuckled to himself, (That is one of the oldest tricks in the book. He knew that earring was left on purpose so Nick would go out of his way to find her and return it. Whoever she is, she does not know my son. Instead of searching the ship for her, like she expects. He will make another date with someone else while he is waiting in line to turn the earring in at the lost and found.) When Burton went into the bathroom to shower, he noticed two condoms were missing from Nick's shaving kit. (Someone has been very busy today. I suppose he is making up for lost time, fooling with Lulu) Burton and Nick shared dinner together, then separated with their friends. Burton was asleep when Nick entered the cabin after 2:30 am. "Oh, I am sorry, I didn't mean to awaken you." "That's okay, did you have fun?" "Yes, I did. Thanks for the trip. This is what I really needed. I forgot what real fun actually felt like." "I am glad you are enjoying yourself. I was afraid if I had told you where we were going you would not have wanted to come and would have made excuses about all the work and responsibilities you had." "I probably would have. I am glad you didn't tell me." "Now do you understand why you should always listen to your father." "Yes, sir, I understand. So will you do me a favor; the next time I fail to listen to you, please slap me silly. Nick said as he headed to the bathroom to prepare for bed. He returned, "Oh, I brought you something. He put a carry-out container on Burton's nightstand. "A midnight snack." "Nicholas, I have been eating all day." "Well you haven't eaten any of these yet. These goodies are only available at the midnight buffet." "No, I haven't, these are delicious." Burton said as he sat up and sampled his appetizers and sweets. "What are you doing tomorrow?" Burton asked Nick when he returned from the bathroom and fell into bed, exhausted. "I want to attend some workshops. What about yourself?" "I don't know, I am sure Gloria will come up with something." "So are you two a couple?" "We are just company for each other. This is a big ship with a lot of people, so at our age if you meet someone you get along with, you sort of stick together. Unlike someone young like yourself, who can manage to find someone different to be with everyday, for every meal, including snacks." "It isn't like that; it is just that the men are so few and the women are really bold. You can be talking to someone and another woman will come right up to you and make a pass, disregarding the woman you are with. That happened this morning right after breakfast." "How did you handle it?" "Well I tried to ignore her, but she got that much bolder, she rubbed her silicone boobs against my arm and practically shoved the other lady out of her way. I just told her "pardon me, but we were talking." "Did you ever see her again?" "Which one?" "Either." "I went on the island with Dora, the one I was talking to and I spent a little time with Dolly Parton after we got back. I never saw her anymore after that." (So that was Dolly's wanna-be he entertained in here this afternoon.) "What did you and Dolly do, was she really as rude as she seemed. "No, she just wanted some attention. Like I said, there are not that many men on this ship compared to the number of women." Good night Dad." "Night Son." After breakfast, Burton asked Nick which workshops he was attending. "Today I will go to "Single Parenting" and "Dumping the Baggage." "Well, Gloria and I are just going to play it by ear today." "I probably will also, after the workshops. "Nick" said. Again the cabin reeked of a female's presence when Burton returned. Two more condoms were missing from Nick's bag. ***** Towards the end of the middle of the week, Burton peered through the door of one of the workshops to see if Nick was in one of them. He saw Nick seated up front. Burton just took a seat in the back. Gloria was with her female friends and Burton was happy to be alone to do as he pleased, for a change. The session had already started and the instructor was saying, "Remember, in our last session we learned that when we dump something negative, we must replace it with something positive so there will be no room left for the old baggage to return and have a place in your life. I notice that this class has only about one-third the participants we started with. But that is okay because the fact that you are still here for the second half, tells me that you are serious about making important changes in your life. This tells me that you are ready and willing to kick your baggage to the curb, replace it with something positive, and move on with your life." "If you were in the earlier session this week, you will recall I gave you an assignment to make a list of the negative baggage you planned to get rid of and the positive elements you intend to replace them with. Now, I know this is very personal to some, but I wonder if anyone is willing to share any of the issues on their list with the group. This is voluntary, but remember that the chances of you ever meeting any of us again are very rare, so don't feel shy. Remember the first step of purging is to discuss it, and hear it with your very own ears." Several ladies volunteered to share their issues. When they finished, several people asked them questions or offered suggestions. When most everyone had shared, the lecturer then asked, "Nick, what about you?" "What about me?" He asked. "What about you sharing something from your list?" "Well, I wrote some things down but..." "Just because you are outnumbered by the ladies, don't be shy. You have been to all of the different workshops and sessions that I have taught and you and I even discussed a few things. You never know who you may be helping. Someone may be going through the same thing." "I doubt that." Nick half-grinned. "Come on and represent our male gender." Nick reluctantly stood up and everyone applauded. Nick cleared his throat, "I don't really know where to start, my life is really quite boring." Nick heard someone in the rear of the room clear his throat, he ignored it as a lady on the first row asked. "Nick, since you are representing the male gender, could you explain to us why men rarely show up at sessions such as these. I mean these workshops can benefit everyone, male, female, married, or single." "I know the answer to that one. Men don't attend anything that is related to self-help because we don't think we have any problems." Everyone laughed. "So how did you find your cutes self in here? Does that mean that you have issues?" Chimed a Marilyn Monroe wannabe with fake blonde hair, with fake boobs, fake tan, and fake lashes. "Who cares, he is definitely a man, problems or not." Cheered someone from the rear. "Tell me about it honey!" a second woman chimed. "He's probably the only real man on this entire boat. Every man I have met so far is gay, a mama's boy or a con artist." The women started having conversations among themselves. "Thank you ladies, I am sure that Nick appreciates the complements. But we are eager to hear what he have to say; after all he is representing a man's point of view. Go on Nick." Nick half-grinned. "Well the truth is I really don't think that I have any problems, either. That created a commotion among the ladies, until Nick help up his hand and they quited down. "But my track record says differently: I was twice in rehab, on probation, a 12-step program and have had countless broken relationships, I finally realized that all of that could not possible be wrong." Uh, yes if I am to be honest, I do have issues and I have had to learn, the hard way I am afraid, that ignoring that fact does not make any of them go away." "Honey, why were you on probation? You don't look like a criminal. A bad-boy maybe." she flirted. "Every woman likes a bad-boy every now and then," A 40ish redhead added. "I got busted for partying too hard." "Since when is having a good time against the law! Honey, you need to come home with me back in New Orleans where it's against the law not to party hard! A cute young thing like yourself, when I got through teaching you how to party proper, you would never want to go back home." "Ooooooh!!!" The ladies chimed. "Shut up Esther, since you know so much about having a good time, why are you here on a single's cruise, how come you don't already have a man." "That's because I like um young, tender, and good-looking like Nick. Those old fossils you like to keep company with bore me to tears. Nick, sweet-heart, if you had been with a more mature, experienced woman like myself, you wouldn't have gotten yourself in trouble. It's those little young hussies your age that is always getting a man in trouble. You remember that. And, if you're ever in New Orleans..... "Shut up Esther and let Nick finish what he was talking about," interrupted Esther's good friend. Both ladies spoke with Cajun accents and appeared to be in their late 60's. "He's too young for you. He's so young he could be your great-great-grandson's, baby boy. " The room roared with laughter. "Ladies, ladies!" The lecturer tried to restore order without bursting into laughter himself. "How old are you sweet-heart? Twenty-five?" "No mam I am thirty-four." "Thirty-four? See Joan I knew he wasn't twenty five, you're so old and blind you couldn't even tell he was over thirty. Nick, darling, I'll see you after this meeting is over. I want to hear exactly how you got your cute little self into trouble, then I will teach you how not to ever make that same mistake again. There is nothing wrong with getting into a little mischief, but the trick is not to get caught. Esther made an ugly face and stuck her tongue out at her friend Joan. As the laughter started again, Nick heard a familiar chuckle coming from the rear of the room. He turned around to see Burton's face beaming with pride. "He continued, Thanks, Esther, I'll remember that. Uh that is my father back there, I am glad I didn't decide to lie." Everyone turned around, "Hi Daddy, Hi Pops," etc. Burton waved and Nick continued. "He made me come on this cruise. He made all the arrangements, packed my bag and nearly hog-tied me to get me on the plane. I had no idea where we were going until we boarded the ship. He did all of that for me so I would not lose my freaking mind, I was in such a depressive state." "A woman, I'll bet!" Came a voice two rows back. "Something like that. Nick grinned shyly. "But, I thank my Dad very much for recognizing what I needed then seeing to it that I got it. Uh the things that I plan to dump are the things that helped lead to my depression. "That woman, you need to dump her!" "Well, yes and no. I have to dump the relationship, not that there is anything left of it, but she is the mother of my infant daughter, so she will still be in my life, somewhat, but only for that reason. So, I suppose the next thing I need to do when I get back home is resign from my current job. The job is someone else's dream that I was trying to keep alive for the founder who is dying of ALS. As noble as that may seem, I have to face reality and realize that his dream is not mine. I cannot achieve that dream as long as I am attached to someone else's" "What is your dream Nick? Do you have one?" "My dream once was to have my own corporate law firm, the same as my dad, but I am not sure if that is what I still want to do. I don't have to make up my mind immediately, but I do have a couple of job offers. With the responsibilities I now have as a father, it would probably be best to work for me to work at someone else's firm and take advantages of the steady salary and benefits, at least for now. At least, I will have more time to spend with my daughter." "Is there anything else you want to dump?" "I guess that is it." "What positive things are you going to replace them with?" "The positive thing I want to focus on is a new relationship. I have already met someone new who is very sweet and positive. I intend to ask her for a date and try to get to know her better. Something may develop, something may not, but if nothing else, I can ask her for a date. Then I intend to take better care of myself, health wise. I have not taken the time to eat right or get enough rest for working so hard, putting in too many hours. I will not allow myself ever again to become so fatigued that I cannot function. That's it." Nick was about to sit down "What about your father back there; how is your relationship with him?" The lecturer asked. "It is not what is should be, but it has improved significantly from what it was. No fault of his, I might add. I have not always given him the credit he deserved. I am sorry, Dad, but I will do better, I promise." Burton got up from his seat and went forward and gave Nick a big hug. "I know you will, Son, I know you will and I intend to do my part." Everyone shared in an emotional moment. When the workshop ended, several ladies, young and old, pressed little notes with their names, cabin numbers, addresses, and telephone numbers in both Nick's and Burton's hands. Nick and Burton shared lunch with Esther and her good friend Joan from New Orleans. These were the only two ladies, besides Gloria that Nick or Burton cared enough about to want to strike up a friendship with after the cruise. ~~~~~~~ On Saturday, the last day full day of the cruise, Burton and Nick spent most of their time together. The toured the last island, shopped and got back to the ship with enough time to indulge in a spa treatment, which was Burton's idea. He had done it before and loved it. He explained to Nick how men are finally discovering what women have known all along, that every one needs to pamper themselves every now and then. Nick felt a little foolish at first, but he finally gave in and was glad he did. He did not know how good a sauna, full body massage, and facial could make you feel. They topped it off with a manicure and pedicure. Nick was no stranger to a manicure, but he had no intentions of telling anyone he's had a facial and a pedicure. They spent the rest of the day lounging on the deck and napping until it was time to dress for dinner and the grand finale ball that night. After the ball, Burton and Nick got to bed around 2:30 am. After Burton turned off the lamp, they had their nighttime chat. It seemed they could communicate easier in the dark when they did not have eye contact. "So, you say you had a good time, Nicholas?" "I did, it was just what the doctor ordered. Thank you so much, you really don't know how much I needed this trip." "Maybe I did." "I guess you did, at that. I was in pretty bad shape, wasn't I." "Well you had me worried there for a while. I didn't know what had happened or if you were in some type of trouble. I still don't know, I only know that you now seem happy and rested. You still scare me a little bit." Burton laughed faintly. "How?" "Well, you are just too pleasant. You are a joy to be around. We've talked, joked, had some real good times together. You look like my son, Nicholas, but you aren't acting like the son I knew and loved." "You want me to go back to being an ass-hole? I can do that if you like." "I want you to be happy, son. That is all I want. And whatever you have to do to achieve that, well I will stand behind you and help in any way I can." "I can talk about what happened on July 2nd now, just before I ended up on your doorstep." "Only, if you want to. I don't want to pressure you into it if you don't really want to." "I need to. I am going back to Pittsburgh tomorrow to face the things that nearly drove me back to getting drunk and snorting coke.' "I am listening, Son. It is probably best that you talk about it now before you go back home." Burton could hear the pain in Nick's voice, but he knew Nicholas had to purge him self of that pain by talking about it, before he had to face Lulu again." Nick sighed deeply, then he began. "The only reason I didn't screw-up that night was because I kept thinking about Anne and I knew I would never have a real relationship with her if I had. I believe Lulu was counting on me to do that." "But, why? I don't understand? You have always been supportive of her and the baby, I don't understand." "Well, I really don't either, but I know her well enough to know that she really intended to hurt me that night and she succeeded." "Do you think she was trying to get even with you for finding out about that thing you had with that social worker?" "She found out because I told her." "You told her?" She didn't catch you or hear it from someone?" "I told her because she had already rejected me before that Suzanne Pell thing happened, but she never forgave me, nor will she ever. I had asked her to marry me right after she told me she was pregnant. She flat out refused so I had no choice but to come to grips with that. But then she kept my nerves on edge, acting like she could not make up her mind if she wanted to go through with the pregnancy. It was as if she was ashamed that the baby was mine. The only reason she will allow me to see Anne now is because she needs my support. She likes what I can do for her and Anne, but she don't want me to be a part of either of their lives. She made that plain when she refused to allow Anne to carry my last name." "But she did name the baby after your mother." "Well, like I said, she needs me, she just can't admit it. "Well, what happened that night that upset you so." "Well, I worked late and I stopped at the Incline for some carryout. While I was waiting for my order I caught a glimpse of Jake, Kate, Lulu, and some guy that I had never seen before. I assumed that he was Lulu's date. I knew that I should have gone home, but I was curious as to who was watching Anne. I went to Lulu's house and a teenage girl answered the door, which was mistake #1 on her part. I never identified myself, but I began to ask her questions and she innocently answered me, letting me know that she was home alone with the baby, where Lulu was, and what time Lulu would was expected back. I told her about her mistakes and told her to lock the door and don't ever answer it again to anyone but Lulu. She looked very frightened so I doubt if Lulu will ever find out about the incident." "I got back in the car and parked at a safe distance where I could view Lulu's house and I had my dinner. Around midnight, Jake's car pulled up in front of Lulu's house and she and that guy got out of the car and he walked her to the door and kissed her good night. They talked a minute and Lulu went into the house and the guy went back to Jake's car and told him something. Then the babysitter came out and got into Jake's car and that fellow went back into Lulu's house." Burton noticed the anger of Nick's voice intensify. Somehow he knew that Lulu was the cause of his son's anguish and he could have guessed that Jake Straka had a hand in it as well. "Go on Son, I am listening." "I waited a few minutes after Jake drove off, then, I went up to the door and rang the doorbell. Lulu thought it was the babysitter who had forgotten something. She was very surprised to see me. She wouldn't let me in, telling me that it was very late and Anne was asleep. I told her she was the one I wanted to see. She still wouldn't let me in, saying she was very tired and she would call me in the morning. By that time, lover boy had come into the living room carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. I just shoved my way in. He and I both asked each other who the hell the other was. Lulu told the fellow, Donald, that is what she called him. She told him that I was Anne's father. He smiled and said he was pleased to meet me and I ordered him out. He told Lulu that he would leave, that he didn't want any trouble and she told him that I was the one who was going to leave. She told him to take the wine into the bedroom and she would meet him shortly. Then she kissed him right in front of me! As he went up the stairs, I started after him and she told me that if I didn't get out immediately, she would call the cops because I forced my way in." "I am so sorry to hear that son. Did you leave at that time?" "No, I thought she had some nerve telling me to leave when I was paying the mortgage and most of her bills and I told her so. We had been arguing since the baby was born, mainly because I wanted more quality time with Anne. When I bought the house for her and Anne, I swore I would never throw it up in her face. But this time I thought it was appropriate. I was just sick and tired of her insisting that everything be her way. I told her that it wasn't fair that she will not allow me to visit the baby, even at her place, unless she wants me to come over and do something for her, or she is too cheap to pay a babysitter. I told her I was going to file a petition for joint custody. She just laughed in my face. She said no judge in his right mind would trust the custody of an infant to a drunken junkie, joint or otherwise. So if I wanted to visit with Anne, I would be smart and forget about joint custody. She was Anne's parent and she was all that Anne needed." As for the house, it was hers, I told her it was a gift and she could do whatever she pleased in it; it was none of my business." "Had she been drinking? What had gotten into her?" "I believe Jake and Kate may have influenced her. She had been taking Jake's side on a lot of issues." Nick then sighed heavily before continued. "Lulu then went on to say that I was the reason that Anne had Downs Syndrome." "She said what?" "That it was my fault that our baby has a birth defect, my drinking and drug use was the cause of Anne's defect." "No, no Son that isn't true. Downs Syndrome is something that happens. I hope you didn't believe her." "I really didn't know what to believe. She caught me off guard. But she went on to tell me that the reason she did not want to marry me was because she did not want any more of my retarded brats. She admitted that she did not love me. If she ever did, I blew it when I screwed Suzanne Pell. Anne was going to have enough problems in her life without having a drunken junkie for a father to make matters worse. And I felt so bad, that all I could think about was getting wasted to make the pain go away. I don't know how long I drove around, parked, and drove around some more. But I needed a fix so bad, that I realized that I was going to cave in unless I went to the only person who really gave a damn about me. And that's when I ended up on your door-steps." "I am so glad you did. I suppose I can't begin to imagine what it must be like to need a fix. I am so sorry; I don't know what to say." "You don't need to say anything. You were there for me, you gave me what I needed and you didn't judge me. If I'd had to listen to one of your lectures that night, I probably would have gotten drunk off of your liquor when you went to bed." "Well, I suspected it was something like that when you gave me your keys, wallet and cell phone, the three things you cannot live without. "I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you were going through." "How did you feel that time you tried to quit smoking?" "Like hell. I sweated and thought I was going insane. I lasted all of 27 hours before I said, the hell with it; we all are going to die of something. If my death is going to be cigarettes, well so be it." "Well, needing a fix, drugs or alcohol is probably similar, but your body aches, or at least mine does and I cannot describe what is going on inside your head; it's well I guess it is indescribable." "But you overcame it." "This time. That is why I have to separate myself from Lulu for a while. I don't want to see her or hear her voice. I have to find a way to get over her, forever." "I'll pick up Anne on Sundays, will that help." "That will help a great deal. I appreciate it. Then, like I said, I am going to resign from LSP. That is Lulu's job that I have been trying to hold open for her until she made up her mind what she wanted to do. You know what I came to realize? She don't want to do anything about that job. Why should she if I am stupid enough to work it for her and she reap the rewards from my labor." "I never could figure why you did that." "Because I loved her." Nick whispered, as though to himself, but Burton heard what he'd said. "Well, I guess maybe I do understand." "Uh, Nicholas, would you be upset with me if I told you we weren't going home tomorrow when we dock in Fort Lauderdale?" "I knew it, now you really are taking me to rehab." "Guess again." "Where are we going to New Orleans with Esther and Joan?" "Sort of." "What do you mean?" "I called Donna at our travel agency and had her book us a couple days at Disney World and I found out that Ester and Joan are going to Disney World as part of their vacation package. The couldn't get a cruise leaving Orlando, so they were able to get on our cruise and still get to take advantage of Disney World. we will all be traveling together tomorrow afternoon. So which woman do you want, son, Esther or Joan." "I think I had better take Esther, she is too much woman for you and besides, she likes tender young things like myself. That is exactly what she said. So, I think Joan is more your speed." "I think you are right son. Rest well." "Night Dad." ~~~~~~ After finally settling down in bed the Tuesday night before Nick and Burton were to leave Orlando, they had their nighttime chat, in the dark. "Well, son, since we don't have to get our flight until tomorrow afternoon, we can sleep in a bit. How about we order room service for breakfast, lounge around, then head to the airport after we check-out. We will have plenty of time." "Sounds fine to me." "Son, there is something I need to tell you." "What? We still aren't going home?" "Oh, yes, we are headed home this time." "Am I or am I not going to rehab?" "Not this time, Burton laughed, not ever again. What I didn't tell you was while we were on the cruise, I attended some workshops, also." "Really? What did you attend?" "Well, you know I sat in on the last part of that one you attended, Dumping the Baggage, I believe it was called. Well I also attended the one about overcoming guilt and that other one you attended for single parents." "Did you learn anything?" "More than I had bargained for. I did the single parent one for Shannon. I didn't tell you, but she had been wanting to come back home. She had not been successful at staying at any of the foster homes for any length of time. She wound up back at the shelter twice. Laurie is all in favor for me taking her back." "Are you?" "I don't know. What do you think?" "It isn't my decision to make. But what you need to ask yourself is whether your life will be better and more rewarding if you take her back. If it is going to be a lot of stress, you may want to reconsider." "I know, that is why all I can say at this point is, that I don't know." Before I took those classes, I was ready to go home and call Laurie and tell her that I will be in to pick her up in a couple of days. I felt so much guilt where she was concerned. I thought I had let her down." "You let her down?" Nick asked sarcastically. "That is what I thought. I felt that each time she got into trouble that there was something I could have done to stop her. So, after those classes, do you know what I came to realize?" "What?" "That Shannon was not the child I needed to feel guilty about. Whatever she did, she did it of her own free will. If I am to allow her to be a part of my life, I am the one who is going to have to change. She is not going to. She has lived her style of life for so long, that is what she is comfortable with, that is all she knows, and I believe all she wants to know. She is not going to change, no matter what I try to do for her. So I have to ask my self if I can live with that." "Can you?" "I can, but I am not sure if I really want to at my age and this stage of my life. I have a grandchild in my life now. I want to get to know her and nurture and support her all I can. I came to realize that I have made a lot of sacrifices in favor of Shannon; not only with my life, but yours as well." "What do you mean?" "Well, remember when I was having that heart procedure done, it was you who had to take her to your home and care for her even though you didn't want to. You did it for me. And when she did that disappearing act, I still wasn't well, but I checked myself out of the hospital to try to find her, risking my health and your probation, when I insisted that you find her. You agreed to find her only so I would take care of myself. That was when you told me that Lulu was pregnant, so that I would at least try to take care of my health so I could see my grandchild. If you got caught in some of those places you had to look for her, you could have gone to jail. And you almost did when Shannon lied in court about her mother's drug use, when your future depended upon her telling the truth. If her grandmother hadn't testified that Mandy had been using that day, you would have been in a jail cell at this very moment. I never considered all of that until only recently." "What will become of her if you don't take her in?" "I haven't said that I wouldn't, but I am going to think long and hard before I make a decision this time. I have spent my entire life making sacrifices that hurt those who count in favor of those who don't really give a damn. And Shannon falls into that category, even though she is still a child. Do you see what I mean?" "I am not sure what you are talking about." "I am talking about you and your mother, Son. I jeopardized my marriage by working too long and too hard, trying to build a law firm and a good life for us all and a legacy for my son and his children and all our generations to come. Well where is that firm now? I did the work, I screwed up my marriage, and I am still trying to develop a relationship with my 34 year old son. What were the sacrifices all about?" "You did what you thought was best at the time." "But you wanted a partnership in my firm and I never granted you that wish. I had great intentions of us being partners, but it didn't happen. If I could do things differently. I should have given it to you after you had been back home three years." "Dad, where is your memory. We were partners. It didn't matter what the sign read on the door; Fallin & Associates, Fallin and Fallin, we were partners. It happened, and I was not ready after three years, so stop going back into the past bearing yourself up. I feel good about moving ahead. My new plans may or may not work out. If they don't, I have more plans where those came from. "Well you made sacrifices for me. You were doing very well in New York, moving up the corporate ladder, young and successful, and I ruined all that by calling you asking you to come and work for me." "I left my life in New York because I wanted to. Pittsburg was my home and I would have come back at some point in time. What else do you need to get off your chest. What else are you feeling guilty about where I am concerned. Let's have it now so you will never mention it again." "Well, I gave away a large portion of your inheritance to Barbara's husband for his harebrained scheme to help re-build Mount Aire. I was a fool to part with that kind of money. You told me not to but I didn't listen". "I am not worried about my inheritance. I know you have plenty more money where that came from. And besides, I am not promised to live longer than you. So I guess fools with money run in our family. I was a fool to buy Lulu that house she wanted. I wish you had tried to warn me." "Would you have listened?" "Probably not." "Well, you did put the woman you loved first, fool or no fool. I came to realize that it was always your mother and you that I always put last. I missed all the important things in your life. I don't just mean the little league banquets and school programs. I missed everything that I ever promised you I would do." "I don't remember you promising me anything other than buying me a car when I graduated if I made straight A's. Oh yes and you always promised to dance at my wedding, if I ever have one." "I promised you a lot of things when you were born. Didn't you promise Anne things when she was born?" "Yes, but I don't think I can deliver her the stars and the moon." "Well, I probably promised you that too, but I didn't deliver the simple things that I could have. I missed all the things that fathers and sons share. When you experienced puberty, I wasn't around." "Please, let's not go back there. That was not a picnic." "What I mean was, you came home one break and your voice had changed. I always wondered; when did that happen?" "You came home again and you were shaving. I promised you that I would give you your first shave so that I could teach you properly." "My first razor was a Bic; the chances of slitting my throat were slim to none." "Well, I should have bought you your first Bic." "And we never sat down and had that all important talk about life." "Mom gave me that when I was nine years old." "I don't mean the "birds and the bees, I mean the hard core stuff; girls, dating, sex, protection. The things women are embarrassed to talk to their sons about." Nick laughed. "What are you talking about? There is no way you would have felt comfortable sitting down talking to me about that kind of stuff, without getting embarrassed and red in the face. You can't even say condom without turning red. Besides, I have already figured out how to have a child, so don't beat yourself up so." "I wish the hell you would finally figure out how to get married. Until you figure that out, you haven't learned a thing." "Good night, Dad." "Good night, Son, rest well." (Five minutes later) "Nicholas, are you asleep?" "What do you want?" "The first one awake, orders room service, I want Eggs Benedict." "Okay, I'll have the same. (Three minutes later) "Nicholas, are you asleep?" "Yes, Burton, I am asleep." "That girl you were talking about in that workshop the other day, the one you are going to ask for a date, is that that photographer you were talking about?" "Yes." "What's her name again?" "Mona Lisa Johnson." "Yeah, that's right, I knew it had to do with a song. I want to meet her. Bring her to Sunday dinner." "Rest well, Dad" "Night, Son." TO BE CONTINUED....