One-Year Anniversary

Author: Rebecca
 
Email: oonagh1969@yahoo.com

Rating: PG-13 (drug use)

Disclaimer: The premise and main characters are based on the
television show, The Guardian. Bill and Stephen are my own
characters. Chadwick Academy is fictional and any resemblences are
purely coincidental

Note: This is short, just a vignette really. I wanted to post this
before I lost my nerve. I tried to catch all the grammatical errors
but I'm sure I didn't find all. Please excuse them. Thank you for
reading, Rebecca.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Nick Fallin yawned and stretched as he completed his math
assignment. He closed his notebook and textbook and began to prepare
for tomorrow's classes. Normally, he would go to the common room to
hang out with the other students after he completed his studying but
his roommate had to spend the night in the sick dorm because of
bronchitis so he relished this rare opportunity of being alone. He
stretched out on his bed and began to read a book.

"Hey, Fallin! Your old man's on the phone," said Stephen, as he
knocked on Nick's dorm room door. Stephen was in Nick's year at
school and they became close friends.

Nick groaned and slowly walked to the common room at the end of his
hall. In order to afford the students some privacy, the telephone
was in a small alcove off the common room but as with everything else
at Chadwick Academy, telephone calls were closely regulated.

"Hello?" said Nick when he picked up the phone.

"Hi, Nicholas. It's Dad," said Nick's father, Burton.

"Hi, Dad. How are you?" Nick politely asked.

"I'm well, thank you. I take it Chadwick is treating you well,"
Burton said.

"Yeah, I guess." Nick replied. He shrugged noncommittally as he
answered. He didn't offer any more of explanation and waited for his
dad to carry on the conversation.

"Well…" Burton cleared his throat, "Listen, son. Next week Thursday
is…uh…it's the one-year anniversary of your mother's…"

"I know that, Dad," interrupted Nick impatiently. Nick noted the
fast approaching date with dread. One minute he can't believe that a
whole year had gone since his mother's death. The next minute, so
much had changed in 13-year-old Nick's life since his mother's death,
it seemed as if 365 years had passed instead of one year. One thing
was certain, though, Nick missed his mother every single one of those
365 days.

"I was wondering if you wanted to fly home that Wednesday evening and
spend rest of the week and weekend here. I don't have to be in the
office on Thursday. We could go to the cemetery that morning and do
something that afternoon. Anything you want. Aunt Liz invited us to
her house, too, if you want to go over there," said Burton.

Homesickness washed over Nick. He wanted nothing more than to be at
home and spend time with his father. Nick knew that his father
wouldn't spend the whole day without going to the office but still
his father had never offered to spend a whole day alone with Nick. He
understood the importance of his father's sacrifice. He imagined
going to eat at Vito's with his father. He could taste their tangy
tomato marinara sauce. He could feel the steam from the pasta rising
from the bowl, warming his face and then making his face wet from the
condensation. He wanted to be back in Pittsburgh, though, not for a
visit but to live.

"Dad, I can't. I have a major exam in Biology next Friday. I can't
miss it." Nick replied.

"I already spoke with the Headmaster, son. He said you could take it
on Wednesday and you can easily make up whatever you miss those two
days in your other classes. He was quite impressed with your
academic progress," said Burton.

"But I would lose two days of studying for the exam," said Nick.
Nick competed with Stephen for the best grades in their year.

"I think your teacher would take that into consideration, Nick,"
replied Burton.

"Oh," was all Nick said. Nick waited nearly a whole year for an
invitation to come home while school was in session. He didn't count
school vacations because the school closed during that time forcing
the students to leave the school. He imagined his father thought of
Nick's coming home during vacations as a mandatory sentence which
impeded upon his father's life.

A month after his mother's death, Burton shipped him off to Chadwick
Academy, located near Philadelphia. Nick had a hard time in the
first month following his mother's death. Previously a gracious and
excellent student, Nick began to get into trouble at his old school.
He started fights with the boys and exasperated his teachers by being
contrary to whatever they taught. The Headmistress at Pittsburgh
Latin Day School told his father that Nick needed more structure at
home and, no, a babysitter couldn't provide that. Nick spent too much
time alone. Burton knew he couldn't spend less time at work and
decided that boarding school was the best option. He thought it
would challenge his son academically while providing the structure
missing from Nick's life.

"I don't know, Dad. I think I should just stay here. Stephen is
doing better than me in Biology. I was hoping to use this exam to
make up some of that distance," replied Nick.

"Nick, I really think you should reconsider. Next week is not going
to be easy for either of us and I think some time at home is more
important than staying at school for a better grade. You'll still do
well even if you miss a couple days," Burton said. Disappointment
and hurt tinted his voice.

Nick bristled at this. He couldn't believe his father just said that
to him. It was his father's idea to send him away to school. It was
his father who chose to spend countless hours at his office and never
with his wife and child. It was his father who wanted the
divorce. `For either of us, Dad?' Nick thought. Nick remembered the
funeral, quietly seething at the fact that his father was even
there. He hated his father so much that day and rebuked any attempts
his father made to console him. He thought of his father as a
hypocrite -- mournful and pretending to grieve for his ex-wife. He
couldn't believe no one else could see through his father's flimsy
show of bereavement. For a while, he even thought his mother getting
sick and his father leaving correlated somehow. Time and distance
from his father made Nick rethink that notion: even his father wasn't
that powerful.

"Okay, I'll think it over," replied Nick steadily not revealing his
anger he felt within.

"Please do, Nicholas." Burton pleaded.

"I have to go. It's almost bedtime and I can't stay on the phone
much longer," replied Nick.

"Okay. Call me if you change your mind. Take care, Nick," said
Burton.

"Bye, Dad." Nick hung up the phone. He stood with his arms akimbo
and stared at the blank television at the other end of the common
room. During the week, students weren't allowed to watch television.
Everyone else had left the common room and prepared for bed.

Nick became wracked with guilt. His father couldn't bring his mother
back alive and healthy and Nick knew that inviting him to come home
was the best his father could offer. True, his father became a
martinet at times, but Nick secretly enjoyed that. He couldn't help
thinking, though, he betrayed his mother by wanting to be with his
father. He felt safe when he was around Burton.

Nick wanted to go home and he didn't understand what stopped him from
saying yes. He didn't understand why he always pushed his father
away. He did the same thing before he came to Chadwick. While it
was his father's idea to send him here, acting up at Latin Day was
his own doing. His father told him what his consequence would be if
he got into trouble one more time. Nick purposely tested that
threat – just to spite his father.

Nick picked up the phone and began to dial his father's number. He
stopped midway through. He felt this iron-clad resolve coursing
through his body and paralyzing his movement. He couldn't continue.
He already made his decision and calling his father back would make
him look fickle, he thought. Nick felt isolated at school and found
it was best to begin learning to handle situations without help.

He left the common room and returned to his room. He planned to mark
the first anniversary of his mother's death alone. It would be his
first test of his resolution. He knew it would be difficult but he
could do it. He just needed something to help him through this – to
dull his emotions. Last month, Stephen's older brother, Bill, gave
Nick and Stephen some pot to smoke. Both Nick and Stephen were
stressed-out due to final exams and Bill, who was a couple years
older and in the upper school, said the pot would help relieve the
pressure. Nick didn't care for it much. He detested smoke and he
didn't know how to inhale. Stephen tried to show him but Nick only
coughed. He didn't catch any of the buzz that Stephen claimed he
got. Over winter break, Nick watched Burton smoke cigarettes. Nick
even pilfered a couple cigarettes and practiced inhaling. He
thought he might try pot one more time. As Nick got into his bed, he
decided to ask Stephen tomorrow if Bill could get him some pot. He
hoped it he would just catch a buzz this time.

THE END